AngstGoddess003 Embarasses Herself: Tech Q&A

AngstGoddess003 Embarasses Herself: Tech Q&A.

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Q: I’m sure that whatever the coding you used in the LYDF post was good, but it was all greek to me.  I have entered the Twilight Gift Exchange, of which the due date is coming up, but the submission needs to be in HTML coding.  ACK!!  What does that mean?  What does that mean I have to do to my story?  Help me!!!
Thanks!
kay18jay on LJ/Jane Audrino on FF

A: Heh. Code looks a lot more intimidating and foreign than it actually is. I will attempt to simplify this, however, for my fellow Gift Exchange contributors who are nearing the deadline and need to get their posts formatted P.D.Q.

Formatting For The Gift Exchange

THE BARE MINIMUM: Open your Word or text file and begin searching for everything that's italicized, bolded, underlined and strikethroughed [struckthrough?]. You'll need to put them between these simple HTML tags to retain their format.

<i>Italicized Text</i>
<b>Bolded Text</b>
<u>Underlined Text</u>
<del>Struckthrough Text</del>

Easy enough, eh? These tags are universal and, quite frankly, a pain in the anus for any admin to have to sift through and change on their own. [Cue Smellyia's revolted gagging noises.] In the event that you expend an appalling amount of time making your Gift prettyful in Ms Word [ME], you may need go the extra mile and add additional things.

ALIGNED TEXT: To center text, simply wrap it in this div code: <div align=center>Centered Text</div>. You can also align left and right.

HORIZONTAL LINES: You make these by simply typing <hr>. That's it. Done. If you wanna get fancy-schmancy [ME], you can add options for color and width: <hr style="color: red; width: 80%;">

CHAPTER TITLES: The header tag makes included text LARGER, so if you want to make a <h1>Chapter Title</h1> prominent, simply wrap them snugly in the <h1></h1> tags. The header 2 tag is a lot like a <h2>Subtitle</h2>, and you can use these as well.

HYPERLINKS: In the event that you need to link to something, like a beta's profile from your author's note, simply use this code: <a href="LINK TO PAGE" target="Blank">Beta Name</a>. Target="blank" will open the link in a new window. This way, the viewer doesn't lose the page of your story.

REQUIRED TEMPLATE: Ginny and Shug require that every entry be included with the following information:
<b>Title:</b>
<b>Author:</b>
<b>Recipient:</b>
<b>Rating:</b>
<b>Warnings:</b>

<b>Summary:</b>

MY EXAMPLE:
Here is an example of what a completely formatted entry will look like:

<b>Title:<b> The Golden Tooth
<b>Author:</b> AngstyG
<b>Recipient:</b> Robward Cullenson
<b>Rating:</b> NC-17
<b>Warnings:</b> Jaw Pr0n

<b>Summary:</b> AngstGoddess003, missing the pivotal upload of several new Rob photos, longs to be in the know. What is the golden shark tooth? What are the reactions? Why couldn't Jackson go to Cannes? Why do people always ask so many fucking questions in summaries?

<Div align=center><h1>Chapter 1:</h1> <h2>Thank Edward For Expensive D-SLR Cameras.</h2></div>
<hr>On the evening of May 19th, 2009, Photos of Robert Pattinson's appearance at Cannes were posted to various online galleries and blogs. Millions of excited females flocked to their computers to partake in the joys of crude, digital jaw ogling. I was sick in bed, incapacitated and utterly miserable with something akin to Swine Flu as my new kitten, Vladmir, angrily attacked my hands like the adorable little sadist he is.

I missed <i>everything</i>.

In a desperate attempt to feel as though I was present during this crucial moment in Robsessed history, I have documented a re-enactment based on the accounts provided to me by Angel.

In the Fandom of Robsession, I am represented by two separate, yet equally important individuals: OCD_Indeed, who discovers the jaw pr0n, and Angel, who rants nonsensically on the finer details of stubble and fuzzy tummies.

These are their stories.
<hr>It is just like any other evening as Angel flops down at her computer with a relieved huff. The new, foreign silence that penetrates her house since she put her children to bed is nearly tranquil. With a contented sigh, she clicks the small icon on her desktop to open her Gmail, wondering idly if <b><u>The Elite</u></b> has updated yet. <i>Oh AG</i>, she sighs in exasperation. <i>Get over your non-canon coupling issues and read that shit already.</i>

She is suddenly met with the musical <i>'BLING!'</i> of an incoming chat. Curious, she notices that it is from none other than fellow Robsessed ficster, OCD_Indeed.

<b>OCD:</b> OMRPatz. Where have you BEEN? New. Pictures. <a href"http://www.robertpattinsononline.com/gallery/displayimage.php?album=478&pos=2" target="Blank">Click. Me.</a> Now. Gah.

Angel doesn't bother replying as her fingers take on a mind of their own. She knows that OCD understand her extreme lack of all verbal communication in this moment; sacred and consequentially untainted by the distraction of something so trivial as typing. She clicks the provided hyperlink and is overcome with a familiar sensation that can only be summoned by one, singular phenomenon: <i>The Rob Effect</i>.

Her pupils, scanning the blessed image before her, dilate, and her eyelids begin twitching in succession. She could already be classified as rabid as her eyes struggle to absorb the image in its glorious entirety. <i>Rob has been a busy, busy boy,</i> she inwardly giggles, stealthily scanning the area over her shoulders for any traces of spousal observation. Finding none, she is able to concentrate fully on the particulars of the image; the slightly parted, pink, pouty lips of her beloved, and the gruff stubble that covers his jaw. She swoons...

<i>God, the hair, UNF... wait, there's more?</i>

<b>OCD:</b> Oh yeah. There's more, bb...

Angel spends the next ten minutes clicking wildly on all available images, inhaling them <del>like a Dyson on shady methamphetamines</del>.
<Div align=center><i>Two hours later...</i></div>
<b>Angel:</b> I'm telling you, there's some kind of pendant attached.
<b>OCD:</b> God, his collar is <b>blocking</b> it! Move your collar, Rob, GAH.
<b>Angel:</b> I know. Look at all the photographers. Is it too late to change my profession?
<b>OCD:</b> Number seventy-one is soooo close to revealing it...
<b>Angel:</b> GUH, number fifty-nine. He looks so <i>knowing</i>. He knows exactly what he's doing...
<b>OCD:</b> Yeah. HIDING HIS FRACKING NECKLACE! This is driving me batshit.
<b>Angel:</b> What's with the randomness of the sudden sunglasses in thirty-four? SEE! <b>HE KNOWS</b>!
<b>Angel:</b> Raise your arms, Rob! We miss happy trails!
<b>OCD:</b> OH MY HALE, SIXTY-EIGHT.
<b>OCD:</b> Okay. Eighty-Five. It is clearly a gold pendant.
<b>Angel:</b> Huh? Oh. Sorry. Sixty-eight distracted me. <del>I may have momentarily lost motor functions</del>.
<b>OCD:</b> Definitely gold.
<hr>I cease typing and scratch my head in confusion. <i>How the...</i>

<i>"We were trying to figure out his necklace, and discovered... sigh... it is a golden shark tooth - which distresses me to no end,"</i> Angel had said that day in chat. I scan the photos once more and am at a loss.

I have no clue how they came to this Shark-Toothed conclusion, and make a mental note to ask for further, less-incoherent, details later.
<hr><b>A/N:</b> Tune in for next chapter, where I explore the intricacies of Robsessed scrutinization.

In full embded format, it will appear as:

Title: The Golden Tooth
Author: AngstyG
Recipient: Robward Cullenson
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Jaw Pr0n

Summary: AngstGoddess003, missing the pivotal upload of several new Rob photos, longs to be in the know. What is the golden shark tooth? What are the reactions? Why couldn't Jackson go to Cannes? Why do people always ask so many fucking questions in summaries?

Chapter 1:

What Happened???

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On the evening of May 19th, 2009, Photos of Robert Pattinson's appearance at Cannes were posted to various online galleries and blogs. Millions of excited females flocked to their computers to partake in the joys of crude, digital jaw ogling. I was sick in bed, incapacitated and utterly miserable with something akin to Swine Flu as my new kitten, Vladmir, angrily attacked my hands like the adorable little sadist he is.

I missed everything.

In a desperate attempt to feel as though I was present during this crucial moment in Robsessed history, I have documented a re-enactment based on the accounts provided to me by Angel.

In the Fandom of Robsession, I am represented by two separate, yet equally important individuals: OCD_Indeed, who discovers the jaw pr0n, and Angel, who rants nonsensically on the finer details of stubble and fuzzy tummies.

These are their stories.

---

It is just like any other evening as Angel flops down at her computer with a relieved huff. The new, foreign silence that penetrates her house since she put her children to bed is nearly tranquil. With a contented sigh, she clicks the small icon on her desktop to open her Gmail, wondering idly if The Elite has updated yet. Oh AG, she sighs in exasperation. Get over your non-canon coupling issues and read that shit already.

She is suddenly met with the musical 'BLING!' of an incoming chat. Curious, she notices that it is from none other than fellow Robsessed ficster, OCD_Indeed.

OCD: OMRPatz. Where have you BEEN? New. Pictures. Click. Me. Now. Gah.

Angel doesn't bother replying as her fingers take on a mind of their own. She knows that OCD understand her extreme lack of all verbal communication in this moment; sacred and consequentially untainted by the distraction of something so trivial as typing. She clicks the provided hyperlink and is overcome with a familiar sensation that can only be summoned by one, singular phenomenon: The Rob Effect.

Her pupils, scanning the blessed image before her, dilate, and her eyelids begin twitching in succession. She could already be classified as rabid as her eyes struggle to absorb the image in its glorious entirety. Rob has been a busy, busy boy, she inwardly giggles, stealthily scanning the area over her shoulders for any traces of spousal observation. Finding none, she is able to concentrate fully on the particulars of the image; the slightly parted, pink, pouty lips of her beloved, and the gruff stubble that covers his jaw. She swoons...

God, the hair, UNF... wait, there's more?

OCD: Oh yeah. There's more, bb...

Angel spends the next ten minutes clicking wildly on all available images, inhaling them like a Dyson on shady methamphetamines.

Two hours later...

Angel: I'm telling you, there's some kind of pendant attached.
OCD: God, his collar is blocking it! Move your collar, Rob, GAH.
Angel: I know. Look at all the photographers. Is it too late to change my profession?
OCD: Number seventy-one is soooo close to revealing it...
Angel: GUH, number fifty-nine. He looks so knowing. He knows exactly what he's doing...
OCD: Yeah. HIDING HIS FRACKING NECKLACE! This is driving me batshit.
Angel: What's with the randomness of the sudden sunglasses in thirty-four? SEE! HE KNOWS!
Angel: Raise your arms, Rob! We miss happy trails!
OCD: OH MY HALE, SIXTY-EIGHT.
OCD: Okay. Eighty-Five. It is clearly a gold pendant.
Angel: Huh? Oh. Sorry. Sixty-eight distracted me. I may have momentarily lost motor functions.
OCD: Definitely gold.

---

I cease typing and scratch my head in confusion. How the...

"We were trying to figure out his necklace, and discovered... sigh... it is a golden shark tooth - which distresses me to no end," Angel had said that day in chat. I scan the photos once more and am at a loss.

I have no clue how they came to this Shark-Toothed conclusion, and make a mental note to ask for further, less-incoherent, details later.

---

A/N: Tune in for next chapter, where I explore the intricacies of Robsessed scrutinization.

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Q: How do you get your fanfiction on a different background than your theme on LJ? Yours is always so easy to read on the white background, despite the black background of your theme.
-Caitlin
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I was wondering how you made your posts fill the whole page. I’m probably missing something very obvious, but I’ve googled over and over and I can’t find anything to give me answers. Please direct me,
-Terrified technophobe, EmmettGirl
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So I've been playing around with LJ, putting my header in and fixing up the proportions and stuff. It works, kinda, but I still don't like it. In the journal style I have, the box for text is very, very thin. So it all looks kinda squashed and the paragraphs seem to go on for years.  I noticed that on your journal, when you click an entry, the page it goes to doesnt have the same journal style. I was wondering how you do that. Is it some weird complicated magic thing? Hopefully not...
Love,
Drift

Customized Comment Pages on LJ

A: WOW. This wins "Most Popular Question of the Week" here at TLYDF. Of course, this means that I've failed in making my tutorial as thorough as possible. BUT... though I frown, I smile. Because this is a super easy question to answer. [LJ:1 - AG:2]

If you're on your LJ profile page, go to the top toolbar and choose the "Journal" dropdown, and from that "Customize Journal Style." Scroll down to "Basic Options" and look for the options illustrated to the right --->

Setting this to "Yes" will ensure that your posts are shown on the white, default LJ page. The downside to this is that it's a journal-wide setting, which means that it can't be unique to specific posts, but effects ALL posts. If you don't mind this, then you're good to go!

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Q: My question is about blogspot... This is my account:  http://7restlessnights.blogspot.com/. It´s pretty easy to use, but I have some problems with understanding some parts... For example, how can i add a background image?  Better if it´s still... and my columns seem to be to tight together, I want my right column from my left one to be more apart like the columns in The Perv´s Pack blog. Thank you so much for taking the time to do this! Do you ever sleep? :) Take Care!!
Much Love,
Sheila from the end of the world a.k.a Argentina...

Customization Tips for Blogspot

A: Sleep is for normal, healthy people, Sheila. And utterly BORING. I'm glad to finally have a Blogger question! What you're looking for are some simple customization tips. You'll find everything you want on the "Layout" page of your blogger dashboard.

What you have here are settings for "Page Elements," "Fonts and Colors," "Edit HTML," and "Pick New Template." I suggest choosing the template closest to what you desire before beginning, so that you won't have to expend any unnecessary effort.

To add a background image to your Blog on Blogspot, choose the page for "Edit HTML." Use their handy Backup/Restore section to save a version of your current template, should you fuck it up nice and proper. Nothing beats a nice, clean do-over.

In the "Edit Template" box, you'll see a shitload of gibberish that's mostly a lot of CSS code. For background image, you'll need to find the "BODY" tag [do CTRL+F to search for the word 'body']. It should look something like this:

body {
  background:#000000;
  margin:0;
  text-align:center;
  line-height: 1.5em;
  font:x-small Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, Sans-serif;
  color:$mainTextColor;
  font-size/* */:/**/small;
  font-size: /**/small;
  }

You need only to add a few lines of text to insert the image:

  background-image:url("myimage.gif");    This is the url of your image
  background-repeat:no-repeat;               This stops the background from tiling, only showing it once.
  background-attachment:fixed;               This fixes the image, so that even when the viewer scrolls, it remains still.
  background-position:left bottom;          This is where you want your background image to appear. Top, Bottom, Middle, Left, Right, and/or Center. The background for this blog is positioned on the bottom of your screen, as you see.

Simply paste the necessary lines of code into your "BODY" tag:

body {
  background:#000000;
  background-image:url("myimage.gif");
  background-repeat:no-repeat;
  background-attachment:fixed;
  background-position:left bottom;
  margin:0;
  text-align:center;
  line-height: 1.5em;
  font:x-small Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, Sans-serif;
  color:$mainTextColor;
  font-size/* */:/**/small;
  font-size: /**/small;
  }

Viola!

Setting column width is a little trickier. You'll need to find the wrapper tags in that same box, and discern what the column's width is in pixels.

#main-wrap1 {
  width:702px;
  float:$startSide;
  word-wrap: break-word; /* fix for long text breaking sidebar float in IE */
  overflow: hidden;     /* fix for long non-text content breaking IE sidebar float */
  }
#main-wrap2 {
  float:$startSide;
  width:100%;
  padding:10px 0 0;
  }

The main column for TLYDF is 702px. I can easily [but never ever would] alter this by making the number smaller or larger. I'd need to do a CTRL+F to search all "702px" values, and change them as well. Your side column may also have a fixed value [where TLYDF's does not]. In this case, repeat the same action by searching and altering.

Are you terrified yet?

Wait until Blogger's evil little self starts tossing you weird looking errors. I shudder.

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Q: I think we should have a 'Who's the Most Embarrassed' contest because this question is actually quite embarrassing to ask, how do you post a fic on LJ? Can you post an original story? If yes, how? Thanks,
Infame

Posting to LJ

A: Well, Infame, I'd probably win that contest, hands down [head too]. You can begin by reading my tutorial here. If you're looking for something a little less complicated, you should be aware that posting a fic can be just like posting any other LJ journal entry. Go to your Journal and look to the top for the little link that says "Post." Copy and paste all the text from MS Word [or FFn, etc] into the LJ post page. You can make it an "LJ" cut by clicking the icon on the toolbar that looks like: .

Always remember to "tag" your entries according to the story name so that people can find a compiled list of chapters.

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Send your tech questions to angstgoddes003@tlydf.com, and I will embarrass myself -- in one way or another.