Back from Our Irregularly Scheduled Programming: Chicklette Recs Bright Garments!

miaokuancha
A Garment of Brightness
Canon-Drama- T/PG-13
30 Chapters, 55,893 Words
8/25/2010 - WIP
[ FFN ]

Showing is stronger than telling. I felt the short little hairs on the back of my neck stand straight on end. "It's not fair," I say aloud. The night wind swirls, lifting the fine surface powder from the tops of the snowdrifts, coating us in diamond dust.

Chicklette's

Tell me a story. Draw me in. Weave your words in a way that is new, and capture my attention. Suck me away from the doldrums of the day and take me to someplace other. Somewhere cold and rainy or covered in snow, or draped in sunlight so bright it hurts my eyes when you look at it. Take me with you when you fall in love, when you see him for the first time, when your heart trips at the sound of her voice, when you fight for a life, even if it’s not your own.

That is what I ask of an author when I open a new story. Maybe that’s a tall order, but it’s one that Miaokuancha has delivered in spades with A Garment of Brightness. When a friend sent me a PM suggesting that I read it, I opened the tab and figured I would get to it eventually. At that point, I had eight or nine open tabs of Twilight fanfiction – pretty typical for me, any day of the week. I was flipping through the tabs, looking for something that would just grab me, and settled for that one.

Now, I’ll be frank here: So far, the plot not extraordinary. There’s a coven of vampires pretending to be human. Bella Swan is the new kid in town. Forks is wet and rainy. For much of the story, it is a simple retelling of Twilight.

And yet it is so much more:

We don't say much. We never do. Just the usual awkward hug at the terminal gate when he picked me up. You know the kind – one armed, with our faces both turned away. I've wondered whether that was one of the reasons Mom left Dad. Was he always giving her one-armed hugs after they got married? But I'm the same way, and she never left me on any church doorstep.

It's quiet and dark and drizzling, when we pull in. The drip, drip, drip from the trees and the eaves is everywhere. The porch still smells a little moldy. Not enough to give anyone allergies – just wet, wet wood, that hasn't seen paint quite often enough.

"I got a surprise for you, Bells." Dad never calls me Isabella. It just wouldn't sound right coming from him. He's not an Isabella kind of guy.

That right there was the first bit to really draw me in, because it reeks of truth. Bella and Charlie, for their common blood lines, are very much strangers, and this is captured so well by Miaokuancha’s evocative style.

Using short chapters and lyrical phrasing, the author creates a world full of vivid sensory input, as seen and felt through Bella, Edward, and perhaps the ravens, as they watch down from above:

They stand together, talking without sound, as we do. The pale-head places his featherless wing across the back of the immature. The young one flinchers away at first, then submits, then curls to the ground. The parent guards him there, with his wing across his back. They know the way of the stones. They stay without moving, until the daylight begins to die in the clouds.

At the bottom of the ravine, a doe walks carefully.

The two descend as one, and kill, and feed.

Using such distinct points of view lends this story a sort of spiritual mysticism that I hadn’t expected, yet one that I quickly came to adore.

Another interesting aspect of this story is how much Edward struggles with the ruse of being a “child.” His point of view holds a maturity and a distinctly male voice, as he struggles with himself, and also his bloodlust:

We have sauntered indoors, into the bright, warm hallways. The other students unconsciously give us space, avoid our eyes. Shards of thought assault me from every direction. How I hate the crowded spaces. I shut out the voices, as I have learned to do. Just as we all have learned to shut out the enticement of so much blood, so many beating hearts, under our very noses. To pass among the hot, throbbing herd, untouched and untouchable. Most of the time.

"So, Alice," I say, and I don't mean to mock, but I do, "How sure is 'pretty sure'?"

There are so many beautiful passages in this story that I wish I could highlight them all, and paste them here, for your consumption. Instead, I’ll beg you to go and read them for yourself. Get lost with Miaokuancha’s Edward and Bella. Let her draw you in. You won’t be disappointed.

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Chicklette is the author of many wonderful fics, including some rec'd on the Ficster. She's currently writing Of Kith and Kin, and if you haven't read her--YOU ARE MISSING OUT.

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Blog Update

We're still working on our transition for updating the Ficster. Believe it or not, we're making progress! However, if anyone would like to volunteer to crunch some (easy but repetitive) HTML, send an email to pastichepen@tlydf.com. The admins will snuggle you.

Admin Rec: Pastiche Finds Love (Between the Sexes)

EFC
Love Between Sexes - MA/NC-17
Angst/Romance
18 Chapters, 93,030 Words
7-4-10 - Completed
[ FFN ]

Edward & Jasper were roommates in University. They both have wives and new lives now, but a three day reunion will force them to examine the relationship they chose not to explore and left behind so many years ago. SLASH ExJ

Okay, ladies, this blog may be mostly inactive, but that doesn't mean just because angstgoddess-keeps-getting-really-busy-and-not-having-time-to-code that I can't sneak in with my basic HTML knowledge and post a rec.

BECAUSE...! oh-my-word, I read the most amazing slash fic ever, and even though it is complete (and wonderful), it only has like 600 reviews.

So, first off. Slash. That means a boy x boy pairing. Man sex. Cocks squared. The threat of buttsecks (but there is a PROSTATE!) If there is a Bella, she's "Bela" (spelled the Romanian way), and most likely there's no brown haired boy, but instead Jasper is the real rainbow hero to Edward's saturnine I-am-gay-someone-please-kill-me orbit.

Now. If slash is not your flask o' whiskey, please go drink your Shirley Temples on the pool patio. Thank you.

Okay, now I get to talk about why I am in love.

First, I mostly read slash in other fandoms. In fact, I'm a consumate Harry/Draco shipper in the Harry Potter fandom, which means that I actually prefer my characters to hate each other for at least a portion of the storytelling. I don't like it when they speak in endearments. I don't like it when they text emoticons ("fuck you's" are okay though...), and I especially don't like it when they fall in love without a struggle. Back in the day, when I used to do my searches through Twilight slash, I found that there was a lot of this: fluff. Granted, a lot of it was good fluff, but given that I'm partially evil, this did not appeal to me.

But this fic!!!!

FIGHTING.

Angry!lemons.

Angsty sexual identity crises.

A wonderfully mad and outrageously gay step-uncle that you wish you could still to drink Appletinies with!!!

It's got it all!

Now, if this is enough to convince you, please click the button above, but if you need more, my descriptions below are mildly spoilerish. Very mild, though.

To explain, Edward and Jasper were college roommates. On their final night of college--before they leave for separate cities--there is a "moment."

Flash forward.

Edward is married with two kids. He and his wife are struggling. There's not much seckzy timez occurring since kid two. There's a lot of stress. His wife is dealing with post-partem depression for the looks of it. Now, you might be shrieking I HATE INFIDELITY fics, but the usual problem here, the villianization of the wife, does not occur. Instead, she's fairly portrayed as the marriage disintegrates. (This is a big deal to me.)

Anyhoo, so the big set up. Edward goes on a business trip and meets up with his buddies from college. This includes Jasper. Jasper, since he's planning staying out and drinking, makes plans to sleep in Edward's hotel room that night.

Dun-dun-dun.

Anyway, the aftermath of their encounter is what fuels the rest of the story. You might think it's all angst, but it's not. Jasper's "uncle" Alex, who is something of a gay socialite, is constantly flitting in and out of the story, adding much needed doses of humor as Edward comes to grips with the loss of his marriage, his feelings toward Jasper, and his own sexuality. Moreover, Edward and his wife start to understand the other for who he/she is, and not for who he/she is not. It's really sweet, uplifting.

(I love themes...)

There's everything rolled into a ball here: angst, humor, and sexiness.

So, go READ.

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Pastiche Pen is the author of such claptrap as If Love Could Light a Candle and Sin & Incivility. She's currently writing a multi-chaptered vamp!slash fic, Yesternight, as well as co-hosting the Slash Backslash 2.0 contest with Angstgoddess003.

Guest Fic Rec: The Dame Fades Away

Derdriu oFaolain
And With Thee Fade Away
Romance/Suspense - M
44 Chapters, 162,868 Words
04/19/2010 - Completed
[ FFN ]

On her first day of school, Bella stands up to Edward: Forks' own psychotic jerk. Little does she know, Edward is a centuries-old Englishman with a taste for human blood. Will they fall in love, or kill each other first?

Dame Nellie's

I've been reading Twilight fanfic for almost a year now and in that time I've probably read more than a thousand fics. I've read dozens of canon fics, scores of AUs and hundreds of AH stories. I've read high school fics, porn without plot, non-canon pairings, anything I could get my hands on. I'll give anything a try because I'm not too attached to the source material or to the characters as they were originally writen. Give me vanon character or give me OOC, I don't really care. What I'm really looking for is great stories with complex characters and interesting premises.

And what I love most is to read something completely different from anything I've read before. And this, my friends, is one of those.

The story starts off in Phoenix, before Bella moves to Forks. I found this rather disorientating at first because it wasn't what I was expecting. But I soon realized that this is an author who is interested in giving her characters real depth, who is committed to telling a story with layers and complexity. She doesn't hold back at all and this story has real tragedy almost immediately.

It's when we get to the third chapter that things really get interesting. This is when we first meet Edward. And he's a complete and unmitigated arsehole. Now, I'm usually not a fan of douchewards at all. I really dislike seeing Edward getting away with being a prick only to be magically redeemed at the end of the story. I assure you this is nothing like that. Edward is unapologetically horrible but fantastically charismatic. He and Bella clash immediately. While the other students at Forks High steer clear of Edward, Bella refuses to let him frighten her. And despite his professed loathing of her, Edward manages to save her life more than once. Nevertheless, Bella knows that there's something abnormal about Edward and when officers from the Forks Police start being being killed, she seeks to find out who Edward Cullen really is.

Edward Cullen had the aspect of a man who spent most of his life underneath a rock, yet still managed to display a joie de vivre."

He's one of those charasmatic villains you just love to hate. He's not the usual Adonis that is so ubiquitous in fanfic, however he makes up for it with a razor-sharp British wit that is so entertaining to read. Derdriu oFaolain has written this Edward the best back story of any I've seen in Twific. It's full of intrigue, history and real poignancy. Despite the darkness of his personality, this Edward seems to have a sense of humour about himself which is really endearing. Unlike canon Edward who struggles with his nature, this Edward has come to accept himself for who he is and has chosen self-decrecating wit over tortured brooding.

"I never knew I was so deep," he whispered in reply. "Edward Cullen: steeped in shadow, metaphor and sexiness."

"I didn't say anything about sexiness."

He grinned. "No, I added that part so I didn't sound like the first line of an emo poem."

And forget what you know about the rest of the Twilight characters. Some of them make only fleeting appearances. Others, like Carlisle and Jasper, are so different that you'll find yourself struggling to work out who's good and who's bad. It makes the mystery so much more interesting because the normal character markers of a Twilight story just aren't there to guide you.

The story is infused with twists and turns to keep the reader interested throughout. The author quotes Checkov in her profile "If in the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the following one it should be fired. Otherwise don't put it there." It's clear she's of this school of storytelling because the plot is tightly wound and perfectly paced. The characterisations are complex and interesting. She doesn't stick to Stephenie Meyer's vampire mythology, instead choosing to mix it up with traditional vampire mythology and added her own unique twists. She subverts the genre by making fun, at times, of the usual Twific cliches.

"Bella," he said, his voice suddenly serious. "I have written you a poignant lullaby through which I hope to express the gravity of our relationship."

...After a dramatic twisting of his wrists, his fingers hit the keys, producing a progression of notes which sounded like they belonged in a lounge somewhere. And then he sang, in a smooth jazz-style voice. "Bella… Bella… what the hella? If you want normal, don't choose an undead fella."

An even more exciting thing about this story is that it's already complete. The story is so tight from start to finish that it never loses its impact or pacing towards the end. This story had everything I look for in a fic - enteratining characters, wit, mystery, depth, originality and fantastic writing. It provoked some great discussions, particularly in regards to the ending. I'd recommend this story to anyone who is looking for something a little outside the box and who isn't afraid of something different and complex. I'd challenge anyone to not be thoroughly entertained.

This is the kind of story that provokes passionate reactions from readers. I've never seen another story so aggressively pimped by its fans (or which I am definite one). Derdriu oFaolain has a phenomenal talent and I really look forward to reading whatever she does next. Let's hope she writes more in this fandom.

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DameNellie is the author of the one-shot A WellMade Mistake and is currently working on Conversation on War, for the Twilight 25. Check her out. Run, don't walk.

FicDive: Non Canon

Diver Alias:

Who You Calling Darlin? (aka Ahizelm)

Mission:

Give Leah her due!

The Pearl:

Confessions of a Difficult Woman by Einfach_Mich

Summary:

Leah Clearwater is not the kind of girl that goes for guys like Edward Cullen. In fact, she thinks he's an asshole and Edward's made it clear he hates her too. One drunken night changes everything. AU AH For the Parkaward Contest

Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 17 - Words: 113,814 - Reviews: 417 - Updated: 4-27-10 - Published: 8-29-09 - Leah & Edward

Why I Read This:

So, here's the deal: I have a soft spot for Leah. I do. She got shafted in the Saga, and she's pigeonholed as a bitter bitch in most fic that's out there, often for no real reason. I have never understood this absence of depth, seeing as how out of all the characters Stephenie Meyer introduced us to, she is probably the most deserving of an emo funk.

Anyway, fast forward, and I'm poking around for little known, non-canon pairing fics. We all know I love me some Jasper/Bella, but nothing was cutting it for me.

Until I found this.

"

Confessions of a Difficult Woman

", by

einfach mich

- clearly a master of all non-canon pairings, if you take a look at her fics on FFn - was originally written for the Parkaward contest, and the story centers on Leah/Edward,

which, to be honest, is a pairing I never thought I'd read. Ever. But einfach mich manages to stay true to the quiet snark of the Pack in the original books and make Leah likable. And well...everyone loves Edward, right?

Chapter one introduces us to a Leah who has, once again, been dumped, only this time she's okay with it. In the wake of her split from Emmett, she manages to describe an Edward Cullen who is amazingly hot, intelligent, strangely shy, and a bit of a bastard (or so it seems). I'm not going to lie: this is the first Edward in a good while who has captured my interest immediately. Leah's voice is wry and hilarious (she calls the Cullens her "favorite dysfunctional Brady Bunch"). The dynamic between them is hot as hell, to say the least. We meet her on her birthday, drunk beyond reason, and things progress from there. Additionally, while the story focuses on Leah and Edward, there are several subplots, all engineered to further the central focus of the piece.

What can I say?

There's the Emmett/Edward dynamic. The Leah/Edward dynamic. The journals Leah keeps. The issue of Edward's past with women. The issue of Leah's history, in general. Her attraction to women. The dual natures of both Leah and Edward's personalities, thoughtful and abrasive, all in one. Snark and pop culture references. And the characters are largely their canon selves, set in an AH environment.

Oh, and by the way: There is smut. Squirm inducing, character-developing, well-written, high-quality smut. And I normally don't read smut-filled stories, but this? This is epic.

---

Diver Alias:

Miss Doesn't Do Things the Easy Way (aka Lightstardusting)

Mission:

Make us believe in Roseward

The Pearl:

For Me by Megi-B

Summary:

Five things that make you perfect. Go," Rosalie asked, bringing up Edward's favorite obsession, himself. "The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The cat from the cat in the hat. And sunglasses," Edward replied.

Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 2 - Words: 4,306 - Reviews: 15 - Updated: 4-14-10 - Published: 4-1-10 - Edward & Rosalie

Why I Read This:

Donned from head to toe in SCUBA gear, I arrived for my ficdive only to see the graphic with a dumpster… not the ocean. Which makes sense, given that I was in search of the unconventional, aka non-canon couples. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect and thought I might be searching for awhile. I was pleasantly surprised when I found not only Rosalie and Edward, but vampire Rosalie and Edward at that. Score!

Megi-B is one of the hosts for the Texts from Last Night contest and when she saw this particular text, she grabbed it and made it her own (found that out from reading the A/Ns – yup, I read them). Can’t say I blame her! After all:

“Five things that make you perfect. Go.” with the reply, “The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The cat from the cat in the hat. And sunglasses.” It just begs for an explanation and Megi-B has concocted a good one.

At the story’s start, Rosalie has been away from the rest of the family in Forks. She chooses to text message Edward during a bout of loneliness. They both find the line of communication freeing, although Edward often thinks and rethinks his replies to Rosalie. The reader has to wonder why there’s underlying tension.

There were women Edward could be himself with. But Rosalie? With Rosalie, it was so different. She made him someone better.

Perfect.

That was it. Lying on the ground, texting, thousands of miles away from her, everything about Rosalie Hale felt so perfect.

Edward wanted, desperately wanted, to drop his falsely flirtatious pretext and tell Rosalie exactly what he had just thought about the perfection she made him feel. She made him feel alive. Edward wrote, and deleted, several variations on the theme in the time it took Rosalie to stop waiting for his reply.

This, in its core, is why I dig Edward and Rosalie together. Both are headstrong and both push the other toward awesomeness (to borrow Megi-B’s opening sentiments).

Also, the fact that Edward tells Rosalie that “the skin of a dead hooker” reminds him of her, in itself, is damn funny.
Thus far, there is no Bella in For Me. However there is Emmett and oh yes, he is Rosalie’s husband. At this stage in the game it’s unclear what exactly has or hasn’t happened between Rosalie and Edward in the past (although there are hints) but one thing is clear, there is some chemistry going on in the present. I can’t help but be intrigued by where Megi-B will be taking this in the future. Only two chapters in, the possibilities are endless.

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Diver Alias:

Had to Change Screenname b/c Rob was Stalking Her (aka GrownAssWoman)

Mission:

Make us say "Edward who?"

The Pearl:

Near to You by Caitlinlaurie

Summary:

AU. Years after Edward left in New Moon, Bella has moved on with her life, now living in a small town. But when her path crosses someone from Forks, Bella must chose between the life she has made for herself and the one she is destined for. B/C.

Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 49,671 - Reviews: 267 - Updated: 4-26-10 - Published: 4-4-10 - Bella & Carlisle

Why I Read This:

I am an unabashed Edward-lover, I really am. But every now and then I get a hankering for some good old-fashioned Carlisle. And Carlisle x Bella usually suits me just fine. The problem is, it’s not a popular pairing and finding quality fics with this pairing can be tricky. So it was with great relief and surprise that I found this diamond in the rough. Near To You is an AU story that picks up after Edward leaves in New Moon. The author strives to keep the characters in Canon, and I must say, she’s quite successful—even more so than the original books.

More Canon than the original? Is that even possible?

I think it is. Here’s why:

In Twilight, Bella begins as a strong, young, and selfless character who uproots herself from her home for the sake and happiness of her parents. That takes guts to do in the middle of high school, but she does it. It’s not until she meets and falls in love with Edward that we see the meekish character that so many of us have become annoyed with.

When you think about it, she allowed herself to be changed by Edward, and not in the immortal way that she hoped for. She submitted herself to his whims and fears and lost herself along the way, which made his absence that much more devastating.

In Near To You, Bella is guided by a strong and loving mother who teaches her that her life did not end with the departure of the Cullens, that she still had so much left to do and to accomplish. And she does. She gathers her wits and lives her life to the fullest, and becomes the strong, independent woman she was meant to be.

Carlisle, on the other hand, loses everything. And it makes sense, Canon-wise. At the end of Breaking Dawn, it was Bella’s strength, her shield that protects everyone; she’s the glue that holds the family together. It also makes sense that her absence from their lives would tear them apart, which in this case it does. And years later we find a single and alone Dr. Carlisle Cullen meeting up with an adult Bella Swan. We learn more of his spiritual beliefs, we gain a greater insight on his thoughts about his family and his chosen lifestyle, and we even get a small taste of his British accent when we read his POV.

In each other Bella and Carlisle find hope and redemption and something more, something they both thought they’d never find again.

This is a beautiful story with rich characters that are flawed, lovely, and realistically beautiful. They are well developed and make decisions that make sense. It’s a very well written work that actually has me questioning my ExB allegiance. In Near To You, Carlisle and Bella are a believable pair that are meant to be together.

Fic Rec: Cannon Not Canon

Temptation's Girl
Walter Cannon's Theory, Expanded
Suspense/Horror - M/R
15 Chapters, 66,695 Words
03/23/10 - WIP
[ FFN ]

Edward's working the night shift, trying to gain experience before his first year of medical school. He might learn more than he expected.

Justaskalice's

Hello, my name is Abby, and I've become an AU addict.

I'm not quite sure how it happened. One day, I was reading mostly AH stories with a handful of canon fic. Then I read my first, really good AU fic. And another, and another. Until I reached the point I'm at today: desperately searching for the best AU I can lay my hands on and reading a smattering of AH and canon.

The AU author can take Stephenie Meyer's world of sparkly vamps and shift the mood, creating mystery, suspense, intrigue or horror. The characters may only shift by a single decision, or by an entire personal history. And the truly gifted AU author can make us feel like we're meeting the characters for the first time, even though in the back of our minds, we know them like old friends.

Walter Cannon's Theory, Expanded, is one such AU. Temptation's Girl pulls you along with Edward and the Cullens on a horrifying and exciting adventure.

The story begins with Edward, a young man on the verge of starting medical school, working the night shift at the county medical examiner's office in Seattle. It's a normal night... until a body is brought in.

Unless there was obvious trauma, the newly dead don't look noticeably different from the living. Until you get to the stages of lividity, the skin color is the same, and the body temp hasn't cooled down too much. Very different from what you see on TV. This guy looked different, somehow. His skin tone was off – smooth, very pale, none of the telltale bruise-colored signs of lividity, and he was cool. Cold, actually. I wondered how long he'd been out on that park bench.

If you're thinking that corpse is a sparkly vampire in disguise, you'd be right.

This is a newborn Edward like I've never read before. He's angry and disoriented, not only because he has been forced to prematurely abandon his human life and, oh yeah, he's a mindreader, but because he's joined the ranks of a family of vamps who seem to have their own agenda. I especially like the dynamic between Edward and Jasper, who is frequently assigned newborn babysitting duty.

"Look, man, I don't want to get in the middle of anything, it's not my business, but I can't try to mediate anything between the two of you knowing I can read both of your minds. I can't keep secrets while trying to also wrap my mind around the whole fucking vampire thing, and the mind reading thing, and the whole 'never seeing my family or friends or going back to my real life' thing, so..." I lost my train of thought as I watched Jasper pick up the newly purchased antique window. He was holding it all wrong, like he had picked up a piece of paper. I didn't know if he really realized how freaky it looked when he didn't try to pretend to be human.

The characters are rich and developed, and they have a wonderful history that we see glimpses of now and then. Some of my favorite moments are when someone tells a story about something that happened long ago. Those moments add warmth and unexpected depth to the story, and in my opinion the story is that much better for it. Edward's reactions to his new life are especially enjoyable, because in a way, he reacts exactly how I always wished canon Bella would have.

I liked Alice. I really did. She was funny, and sweet, and smart, and I could see us becoming good friends. For some reason, though, the way she operated with her visions scared the shit out of me.

As the story progresses, it's revealed that Jasper's creator, Maria, has a serious grudge against the Cullens, and has created a newborn army that's making it's way through Seattle unchecked. Their quest to stop her, and Edward's quest to find himself and keep his personal world --his family, his friends, and the girl he had just started dating-- from being destroyed, intertwine to form an edge-of-your-seat suspenseful journey of intrigue and suspense. Beware--it's been put in the "Horror" category for a reason, and there are scenes of graphic violence and death scattered throughout.

I recommend this fic because of it's intricate and well-woven plot and it's stunning use of the Twilight universe in a new and unique way. You would never know it's Temptation Girl's first attempt at fic. It's a quick read, and it's almost complete. The epilogue is the only thing left to post, so go ahead and dive right in.

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justaskalice wishes she was cool enough to write AU

LikestoRead22 Goes Bed Hopping

the bouquet
Strange Bedfellows
Mystery/Romance - T/PG-13
11 Chapters, 54,366 Words
04/18/2010 - WIP
[ FFN ] [ Twilighted ]

As Edward Masen uncovers the details of the incident that took Chief Swan's beautiful daughter Bella away from him, he soon begins to wonder why the weirdly perfect Cullen family seems too involved for coincidence.

LikeToRead22's

A couple of months ago, I had the pleasure of participating in the Indie Twific Awards and it was there that I stumbled upon Strange Bedfellows by the bouquet. I read an awful lot of good stories during my Indie judging stint, but this one immediately sucked me in and stuck with me. It’s a gem. In fact, I almost didn’t finish this review because once I started rereading the first chapter (looking for nuggets to mention) I got sucked in again and didn’t want to stop. But stop I did.

So here it goes…

This AU fic is a twist on Twilight, placing Edward into the role of Bella as the new kid in Forks who can’t help but notice the strange family of adopted kids sitting in the corner of the cafeteria. But, don’t start making any assumptions about what will happen. This story is fresh and different with interesting characters and a multi-faceted plot. Strange Bedfellows reads like a mystery with clues at every turn. And, like any good mystery, it’s evident that the story has been meticulously planned with crumbs for the reader to find in each chapter.

The story starts with Edward Masen, disgruntled high schooler, moving to Forks with his father to get a fresh start after the death of his mother. Edward is a typical teenager, brooding and angsty, fighting with his father, hoping he’ll make the track team and dreading starting a new school.

The intrigue starts his first day in Forks when a speeding Edward Sr. is stopped by Chief Swan, who Edward notices seems grief-stricken when he mentions his 17-year-old daughter. Later that day, Edward takes a walk in the woods and stumbles upon a beautiful meadow. His thoughts immediately turn to his mother:

Mom would have loved it here..."I wish you were here, Mom," I said aloud. I listened to the forest sounds, trying to imagine what she would say if she were here. The only responses that came to mind were trite platitudes about missing me too.

Edward’s grief is real and heartfelt. It’s with him at every turn, until his memories of his mother start to fade and dreams of a young and mysterious woman take their place. But, back to the plot summary…

After spending a few quiet hours by himself in the meadow, the sounds of the forest quiet and he has the “uncomfortable feeling” that he’s not alone. He reaches for his phone to check the time only to discover he’s lost it somewhere along his hike. But, when he returns home…

My phone was laying on the corner of the mattress, squared to the edge and face up. I was certain I hadn't put the phone down like that and the odds that it would have fallen out of my pocket in such a precise position were minuscule. I thought I had it with me when I left the house, but I couldn't be positive. However it got there, one thing was certain – no matter what, I wouldn't ask Dad about it. If he had put it there, I'd hear about it anyway.

The story uses oddities like these effectively to build the mystery and tension within Edward. But, I’m straying again from my description of the plot…

On his first day of school Edward quickly becomes disgusted with the popular group at Forks High, led by Jessica Stanley who’s bold and perky nature makes Edward wonder if she wants him “to think she [is] vapid and shallow.” But, things start to look up when his new Biology lab partner, Emmett Cullen, agrees to meet him after school to help him catch up on missed course material. Jessica warns Edward that the Cullens and Hales are "weird" and never associate with other kids, but Edward finds Emmett and Alice Cullen intriguing though he can’t help but wonder about their “strange golden brown eyes.”

This story is a great flip on Twilight canon because Edward doesn’t merely slip into Bella’s place in this story. He has his own character with a lot of depth. He’s a wonderful storyteller and a perceptive kid. You can feel his emotions as he struggles with the loss of his mother and his often absent and hostile father. Edward is yearning for more contact with people who will take the time to be his friend. He develops a touching relationship with Charlie and learns that his daughter, Bella, is in long term care hospital in Forks. After seeing her picture in Charlie’s home, Bella starts invading his thoughts and his dreams.

I considered making a private ritual of coming here [to the meadow] to think of Mom, but to my surprise, Bella Swan's face was behind my closed eyes. Although I'd never met her, the image in my mind didn't seem frozen like the photograph images of my mother. I could imagine Bella laughing, looking into my eyes….

As Edward learns more about the mysterious Bella Swan, his budding friendship with the Cullens stirs more questions than it answers and soon he’s on a mission to learn their secrets. At the same time, he learns his father is harboring secrets about his mother and Edward's frustration mounts.

OK, so that’s all I’m going to tell you about the plot. It’s a mystery and I’m not about to ruin it for you.

One of the real strengths of this story is the depth of the characters. Through Edward’s perceptive eyes we’re able to see so much. The Cullens aren’t merely canon clichés and their actions aren’t always predictable. Being limited to Edward’s point of view creates an air of mystery about the Cullens and makes them more interesting and darker. And Bella’s character, initially present only in Edward’s thoughts and Charlie’s descriptions, comes off the page.

But, my favorite thing about this story is the careful way in which the plot details have been woven together and are slowly being revealed. This story is a tapestry and each thread has been carefully placed. The pacing is excellent and each chapter brings something new, and often unexpected, to add to picture.

This is one story I’m happy to recommend to one and all. The Indie judges decided this was a WIP with great potential and Strange Bedfellows is certainly living up to that expectation. I’m going to sit back and enjoy the rest of the story. I hope you’ll join me!

---

LikeToRead22 is an avid reader and the author ofSand and Water and 24 Hours.

Guest Fic Rec: Get Me to the Daisies

Chicklette
Get Me To You - M/R
Romance/Angst
6 Chapters, 37558 Words
08/19/2009 - Completed
[ FFN ]

Winner of Winter 2010 Indie! Pet names and Pop Tarts. Sunday mornings with Etta and Ella. Cibola. Candymouth. You finally realize the truth. What if it's too late? M for drinking, drug use, sex and effing language. ExBxJxAxEm/POV, AH, OOC.

Daisy3853's

The first time someone recommended I read Get Me to You by Chicklette, I didn’t jump on it like I should have. I know you love Jasper, they said, and there’s no way you won’t love this one. Her writing style is so different, they said. You’ll love it or won’t, but either way it’s gorgeous and not to be missed. Give it a try, they said. I said yeah and okay and when I have time. I got busy with writing and work and other distractions, and lo and behold what pops up during final validations for the Indies but this little gem. I read it, I laughed over it, I smiled and cried and yelled at it and smiled and cried some more.

This story is lazy Sunday mornings in bed with Ella Fitzgerald, Van Morrison and candymouth kisses. It’s Jasper and Bella – easy and organic. It’s a story about finding love when you least expect it, learning to trust when you’re not sure who or what to trust, and figuring out what you need in your life to make you happy. It’s romantic yet realistic, because love is real and sometimes it hurts. It’s one of the most beautiful stories you’ll ever read, and if you don’t give it a try you’re truly missing out on something spectacular.

We start out with Bella, heartbroken and disappointed one more time thanks to an Edward who maybe loves her but maybe doesn’t, and the maybes are starting to kill her. He’s hot and cold and yes and no, and one day it goes a little too far.

“For one afternoon and one night Edward Cullen loved me. But in the morning? It was hustle and flow and get your shit together and what, did you think I was going to drive you to school? Make some big statement with you in the passenger seat, my arm around you like we're in love or some shit like that? Get going, Swan.”

Enter Jasper through her bedroom window, like it’s the most natural thing for him to be there – for him to be the one to notice she’s not at school and worry about her and hold her while she cries. And it is natural, because that’s who he is for her. He’s more than just her friend; he’s all she can count on, and they’re so alike that when you see them together it just fits.

“With Jasper it was chill and quiet and bluegrass on the stereo without being embarrassed and strawberry Pop Tarts right out of the box and fuck the crumbs getting all over. With Jasper it was holding hands and nestling into his chest because it was safe to be with him.”

Jasper’s safe because he knows she loves Edward, and he’s safe because she knows he loves Alice. Everything between them just sort of happens when they never really expected it to. He comforts her and it’s right. He kisses her and it’s right. She kisses him back and it’s just right, because he’s her Jas and she’s his (Bella)Trix. Their easy friendship turns into more, and the way it happens is just beautiful. They have their own language full of I love yous that say everything without saying anything that anyone else will understand. It’s one of my very favorite things about their relationship, and I swoon every time they do it.

“It meant I miss you, I'm sorry, I need you, please, yes, more, no, fuck you, don't stop, what are you talking about? It meant I adore you, I worship you, I need you, stop being an ass. It meant everything we couldn't say out loud. We funneled it into I love you and no matter what we meant by it, we understood. I love you.”

But things aren’t always easy when you think your love might love someone else more, and here you have Alice and Edward who suddenly miss what they never realized they would. Alice never even gave Jasper a chance before she saw him with Bella, while Edward strung Bella along with swings and switches and maybes. Seeing Jasper and Bella together opens their eyes, and neither of them like what they see.

“No more window, no more bed, no more Bella and fuck me. No more Bella because she's with Jasper and I didn't see it before I sure as fuck see that shit now, the way she touches him all the fucking time. How he keeps looking at her and they're talking in their heads to each other, you can see that shit and, oh, fuck, the way she just tugs on his collar and he gets up and follows and when they come back she's flushed and fucking exquisite and he does that to her and I fucking hate him.”

Chicklette’s style is different and fresh. I worried when I heard about it that it’d be hard to follow or get into, but nothing could be further from the truth. She weaves this tale seductively, with gorgeous language that flows so perfectly. Every word fits the story, and the story fits the style, and everything is good and right, just like Jas and Trix. She slips in subtle references to music and literature and history, and each one works so flawlessly that you’ll never stumble over them. Her descriptions are lovely and stunning, and sometimes there’s nothing you can do but smile at her words and say yes – exactly.

“I know that bourbon and mint were made for each other, and that this simple alchemy is proof of the divine. I know that watching a baseball game in the sunshine on a summer day, with the smell of grass in your nose and the sound of the crack of the bat in your ear is the epitome of what it means to be human.”

Something else that impressed me was that even though she uses multiple character points of view, the switches never disrupt the flow of the story. Each character has a distinct voice, yet the writing style never falters. Even when they’re living through the same event, you’re seeing everything under totally unique circumstances.

These characters become a part of you so quickly you might not realize it happened, but all of a sudden it’s true and their pain is your pain… and all you want is just one more lazy Sunday morning with pop tarts in bed and Ella. You’ll find yourself gutted and lonely the first time Bella's point of view pops up without the Trix when all the trouble begins, and hoping that maybe the next time he says Trix, cher, she lets him.

“So when I said I love you (are you alright?) he said I love you too but the words were so devoid of inflection, emotion, I had no idea what language he was speaking.”

Sigh. That one kills me every time.

As I sat down to write this recommendation, I reread the story to take notes and look for quotes to use (which let me tell you, narrowing down my favorite lines was no easy task). The second time around, I was just as moved, gutted, thrilled and devastated as the first time I read. I didn’t feel the need to skim or skip ahead, because every word – every unique description or turn of phrase – was just as gorgeous as the first time I read.

“She looks up at me and says, Jas? I feel that thing inside me swell, that feeling like my heart is attached to her smile and like there's balloons and butterflies inside of me, like I'm going to fly and no girl in the world can say that one syllable like she can. She says Jas and I hear love, love, love.”

Basically, you have to read this story. You have to read it if you love Jasper and Bella, because you haven’t read them like this. You have to read it if you’re not sure if you’d enjoy non-canon pairings, because this is the kind of story that makes you jump in with both feet and never look back. You even have to trust me and read it if you don’t usually like Jasper and Bella together, because I dare you not to get caught up in this story, despite your preferences. It’s something that will stay with you days and weeks later, and you probably won’t find anything else quite like it. It’s one of those stories that you’ll want to save and bring out on a lazy day when you want to curl up and read something that you know will make you feel. I really can’t say enough about it. So go. Read. Love. You’ll thank me later.

---

Daisy3853 loves the whole world, especially Jasper, and writes a Jasper/Bella multi-chapter called Underexposed.

FicDive - Mad Dash for Slash!

Diver Alias: Little Miss Overacheiver (AKA Katinki)

Mission: To find a JxE O/s that’s more than smutty good times (not that I mind those

The Pearl: Cigarettes and Fingertips by tuesdaymidnight

Summary: One-shot. Edward is transfixed by Jasper. The way his nimble fingers slide along the fretboard and the way the cigarette smoke unfurls from his perfect lips. AU/AH/OOC. Rated M.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,250 - Reviews: 14 - Published: 2-25-10 - Edward & Jasper - Complete


Why I Read This: So, admission time. I’m a kinda, sorta slash fic virgin, and I kinda, sorta wanted my proverbial cherry popped (gently, mind you). So, when I heard about the Fic Dive column resurrection and saw Mad Dash for Slash *gasp* as a category, I just couldn’t resist. And I must say, what I found was impressive.

And what did I find? A lovely, well-told story about two pretty boys finding a connection deep in the heart of Beale Street. From the twisting patterns of unfurling smoke to guitar-roughened, calloused fingertips, the story screams slow and languid sensuality.

Tuesdaymidnight does a fine job with a third person point of view (my personal favorite), and it’s told in the more interesting present tense, as opposed to past. As such, as the reader, you’re sucked right down into the tale, and you experience Edward’s journey.

There’s a melancholy sense of longing in the words, that feel of unrequited attraction, that oh-so-to-be-desired UST. And then, as the story reads on, there’s the surprise and elation that that attraction isn’t quite so unrequited after all. I love Jasper’s characterization in this story; he’s the elusive catch, the blues man, the one that just can’t be tied down in a traditional sense. And Edward just wants whatever piece of him he can have. Yes, please.

Mission: To find a slashy and preferably humorous Geekward

The Pearl: Fixing Precious: A Love Story by FarDareisMai2


Summary: Jasper's computer needs help from an expert. Enter Geekward. A little slashy o/s written for Yogagal's birthday.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,144 - Reviews: 37 - Published: 3-22-10 - Jasper & Edward - Complete

Why I Read This: If it’s not perfectly obvious from my own stuff, I like Geekwards, like all of them. So, shoot me, okay? I like the awkwardness and shyness, the intelligence, the disguised hotness, the glasses. Unf.

And sure enough, I found a gemstone of a story. This is a light hearted, enjoyable romp, filled with the funny; what better way to start than with references to the MS Blue Screen of Death? There are Tolkien references, Clash sneaks, and Buddy Holly lenses. In other words? Fun.

The premise is easy enough. Jasper’s ‘Precious’ dies and he’s at his wits’ end. Enter Edward, Mr. Computer Repairman, not to mention Mr. I Wanna Jump You and Do Bad Things to You. But the author’s way with descriptions and actions makes this not-so-uncommon scene stand out.

There’s all the gracelessness and discomfort you’d want from a first meeting, as well as some lusciously lusty thoughts and actions. The author does an excellent job of depicting the two characters’ mutual, but uncomfortable, attraction. And she adds in some tenderness and that promise of “I want more than just the physical.” And then, well, of course, there’s a more than satisfying culmination of their desires.

I’d love to see this O/s continued.

---

Diver Alias: Here fishy fish (aka Starfish422 )

Mission: To find a compelling slash fic that didn’t contain the darlings of the Twi slash world, Jasper and Edward

The Pearl: Unanswered Questions by Sparabella

Summary: Resident Geeksper has been lusting after college quarterback, Emmett for two years...Are the two of them really so different? Can they overcome their pasts and find the answers to the unanswered questions they both seek? Rated M Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,389 - Reviews: 49 - Updated: 3-30-10 - Published: 11-29-09 - Jasper & Emmett

Why I Read This: The long and short of it is, I failed. It’s difficult to admit, but in spite of diving again and again (that’s what she said) I’m rec’ing a story with Jasper. Yeah, I hear you – quel surprise, right? I’m telling you, I plugged as many character combinations into that search engine as I dared, but the pearl is a Jasper/Emmett pairing. I KNOW. But it’s not Jasper/Edward, and that alone separates it from much of the available Twilight slash. Also, it has Emmett, who is not on my list when I’m looking for new slashy stories.

This story was originally written as a one-shot for the Slash Backslash contest. Despite it having been written for the contest, I didn’t read it at the time, and found it during one of my many dives through the sometimes-scary dumpster of the FF.net search function.

I clicked on it because the term “Resident Geeksper” in the summary made my geek-loving brain go into overdrive. What I found was a well-written story that made me truly like Emmett in a slash role. Though Emmett-as-football-player could be portrayed as “strong like bull, smart like streetcar”, this Emmett is a sympathetic character. He defuses a potentially-dangerous situation with a locker room bully who harasses Jasper because he’s gay. He even goes as far as to give Jasper some instructions on how he can take down a much larger person, if he needs to defend himself against future attacks.

I love that with this Jasper, being an outcast at college does not translate to his life outside school. He performs with a band and is completely confident of his abilities there, even when his school world encroaches on his music world in the form of Emmett showing up at one of Jasper’s gigs. Jasper rises to the occasion, performing to an appreciative crowd, and wowing Emmett in the process. The confidence Jasper feels at his home bar, along with some interested cues from Emmett, finally give him the courage to take a shot at the guy he’s been crushing on.

Do they get together? I can’t tell you that – you’ll have to read and see. The collaborators recently updated it, and I hope, now that they’ve decided to continue the story, they don’t wait another four months to post chapter 3, because I’ll certainly be waiting to read it.

HEY! IT'S THE REC SO NICE WE DID IT TWICE! SAME DIVE - TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE - SAME REC - BETTER LISTEN UP!!! GRUDGE MATCH BETWEEN MIZTREZBOO AND STARFISH FOR THIS ONE LATER!!!

Diver Alias: Boo Boo Baby (AKA Miztrezboo)

Mission: Find an Emmett that isn't a total skirt

The Pearl: Unanswered Questions by Sparabella

Summary: Resident Geeksper has been lusting after college quarterback, Emmett for two years...Are the two of them really so different? Can they overcome their pasts and find the answers to the unanswered questions they both seek? Rated M
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 2 - Words: 15,389 - Reviews: 49 - Updated: 3-30-10 - Published: 11-29-09 - Jasper & Emmett

Why I Read This: It probably isn’t a secret how much I love Emmett in fic. All fic. So when the opportunity came up to explore the slashy side of Emmett, I was all over it like butter on a hot potato. My excitement was short lived when everything I found was either a) already popular or b) not to my pedantic and picky requirements (when you’ve been around the fandom since August 08… you kind of have to have OCD like tendencies when it comes to what you’ll read). Then, just as I was giving up hope and thinking I’d have to settle for some Jasper and someone other than Edward.. I found a new love.

Originally written as part of the For The Love of Jasper contest held a whiles back, Sparabella (the combination of Clurabella and Sparagus) have written something sexy and different and that I thoroughly enjoyed! They pretty much had me at the description of Jasper – all golden curls and black frames and steel grey eyes – in a band no less. Then Emmett – oh I’ll just let them explain…Emmett's eyes were focused on the professor, his pencil tapping quickly against the notebook instead of taking notes. The artist in me noted the shades of red in his chocolate hair, the freckles that were barely visible across his cheeks, the angle of the shadows created by those dimples...

Where was I again? Right. Plot. Jasper, out and proud gay man with complete and utter lust of the Quarterback with brains. Emmett, not so sure on his sexual persuasion and an interest above friendship with to a self proclaimed geek in sexy glasses. Emmett helps Jasper out of a uncomfortable situation with another jock and they share a moment. The heat turns up a notch at the bar after Jasper’s band plays and he catches Emmett watching.

Unfortunately, Emmett’s buddy leaves him without a way to get home… how inconvenient, or convenient as the case may be when Jasper offers to give him a ride.

Emmett doesn’t just ride in Jasper’s vehicle, let’s put it that way.

There’s a few awkward moments with noob to the gay scene Emmett discovering the difference between Vaseline and Boy Butter (had to giggle at the name of that myself!) The loving is sweet and hot and completely satisfied this little black wombys need for a sexy Jasper/Emmett pairing.

And News Just In: they’re continuing this into a multi-chaptered story, chapter two is already up and it only begins to give you an idea of where they’re going with this one. Loved it, and cannot wait for the next update!

Announcement: AwkWard Contest Winners

AwkWard Contest Winners

So a while back, a few us AwkWard fans were tweeting about how much we adored him. Really, no one has anything bad to say about an adorkably awkward Edward. We decided that 1.) There wasn't nearly enough of him, and 2.) People wanted it. So what to do when you think fandom could use more of something awesome?

Make a contest.

Manyafandom

and myself, along with 5 wonderful judges and AwkWard fans,

Adair7

,

EzRocksAngel

,

loveinthelies

,

in.a.blue.bathrobe

, and

americnxidiot

all convened to set up an anonymously judged contest, whose exact parameters can be found here.

After receiving 27 entries, we held our first round of public voting. The following top 12 entries advanced to round 2.

Inhale Her by Yogagal
It's Just a Flesh Wound by Zigster
Zip It by EJ Santry
Cinnamon Bread and Awkward Head by VampiresHaveLaws
Beta Readers and Bulletin Boards by cereuleanblue
A Problem Below by venis-envy & BurdenedThunder
Fixation by Feisty Y. Beden
Deadliest Catch by araeo
Accidental Threesome by punkfarie
Long Time Coming by SunKing
One Cup of Chunky Peanut Butter by jennlynnfs
Crotches on Fire by SnowWhiteHeart

---

Public Voting Winners!

One Cup of Chunky Peanut Butter

by

jennlynnfs

Entry for the AwkWard Contest. With best friend Angela moving forward in her relationship with Ben, Bella feels she's being left behind. She tries to remedy the situation by going for Edward Cullen, but being inexperienced makes for awkward situations.
Rated: M - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22,267 - Reviews: 183 - Updated: 3-18-10 - Published: 3-18-10 - - Bella/Edward

Cinnamon Bread and Awkward Head

by

VampiresHaveLaws

Entry for the Awkward Contest - Sugar and Spice and all things awkward. Will Edward's embarrassing behaviour blow his chances with the girl of his choice? Or will cinnamon gum lover Isabella Swan know just what to do with him? O/S AH
Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,523 - Reviews: 40 - Updated: 3-17-10 - Published: 3-17-10 - - Edward/Bella

Accidental Threesome

by

punkfarie

Sex is just...awkward. One Shot written for the AwkWard Contest. Rated M.
Rated: M - English - General/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,837 - Reviews: 51 - Updated: 3-15-10 - Published: 3-15-10 - - Bella/Edward

---

Honorable Mentions

Now, I'd said on Twitter how close this race was. I even posted a screenshot of the results, which showed that 3rd place was only 1 vote ahead of 4th, and 4th was only 1 vote ahead of 5th.

PROOF THAT EVERY READER COUNTS!

Crotches on Fire

by

SnowWhiteHeart

was both terribly close to claiming 3rd, and also just an all around hilarious story. The author did a wonderful job capturing the theme, and we all felt as though it was equally deserving of an award as the top three. If I didn't get all anal about defying the normal confines of the winner system, I would have made a fourth place. Please give it a read! And her other story, Falling for the First Time is the most hilarious thing I've read this year. Geekward is God!

---

Judges' Scoring Round:

All entries were judged anonymously, meaning that the judges were forbidden from looking at the C2, clicking on entries, or beta'ing/reading any of the stories entered. All entries were emailed to the judges without titles, A/Ns, or any other identifying information.

They scored based on the following parameters:

• Story Details

  ; Scoring: 0 - 5
  • Background - Enough information given for background of story?
  • Pace - Did the timeline flow in a logical and satisfying order?
  • Character Depth & Development - Characters are well-developed and have sufficient depth (for a one-shot)?
  • Believability - Believable plot? Holes in story? Believable characters?

• Writing

  ; Scoring: 0 - 5
  • Overall Impression of Writing - Flow, quality of writing/grammar, quality of storytelling
  • Technical Grammar - Typos, spelling, punctuation
  • Word Choice - Diction / misused words, awkward language (the bad kind), wordiness
  • Sentence Structure - Inappropriate fragments, run-ons, repetitive structure, etc.
  • Story Structure - Clear organization of main points. Was it confusing?
  • Quality of Dialogue - Believable, realistic, flows, used to tell story (show vs. tell), etc.

• Other Criteria

  ; Scoring: 0 - 5
  • Creativity / Originality of Plot - Seen the story line a hundred times? Completely different? Good twist on familiar story? Etc.
  • Style / Voice / Tone - Appropriate for subject matter? Add or detract from story?
  • Emotional Response - Did it grab you? Make you cry? Give you chills? Make you laugh?
  • Resolution - Resolution satisfying? Make sense? Confusing? Too abrupt?
  • Well-suited to be One/three-shot - How well-suited was the subject matter for a one-shot? For the three chapters allotted? Enough questions answered? Self-enclosed story?

• AwkWard Rating

  ; Scoring: 0 - 5
  • Intensity of Awkward Tone - How Awkward is it?
  • Specific Moments - Were specific scenes or moments appropriately genuine in their awkwardness?
  • Theme Interpretation - Did the author define "Awkwardness" through their entry correctly?

The AwkWard criteria was then averaged, multiplied by two, and then added to their score. We want to stress how important the theme was for the contest.

IMPORTANT!

- If you are an entrant who'd like access to their averaged scores for the above criteria, please email me at

angstgoddess003@tlydf.com

and I will email your score sheet.

---

Judges' Scoring Round Winners!

Strapped

by

queenofpancakes7

FOR THE AWKWARD CONTEST - by bananapancakes7 & queenofgrey - Some anniversary memories are meant to be scrapbooked. Some are meant to be scrapped, completely. Rated M for cringe-worthy situations, inappropriate language, & sex that is all kinds of weird.
Rated: M - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,371 - Reviews: 33 - Updated: 3-17-10 - Published: 3-17-10 - - Edward/Bella

The Alibi

by

belladonna1472

Entry for the AwkWard Contest. Chief Swan suspects that Edward is responsible for an attack on Jacob Black. He thinks the incident is about Bella. Does Edward have an alibi? Is he guilty? Is Bella involved? OOC Edward!
Rated: M - English - Drama/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,950 - Reviews: 14 - Updated: 3-15-10 - Published: 3-15-10 - - Edward

Inhale Her

by

Yogagal

Entry for the Awkward Contest. A summer job, a bachelor party... a chance meeting turns into an Awkward moment. But fate finds a way to smooth out the Awkwardness into something more interesting. Rated M for adult entertainment.
Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 5,506 - Reviews: 58 - Updated: 3-7-10 - Published: 3-7-10 - - Bella/Edward

---

Honorable Mentions:

Another very close contender in the scoring round was

Feisty Y. Beden

's

Fixation

. This story was one of my favorites. Not only did Feisty capture the spirit of the awkward theme, but she also managed to create a robust, vivid atmosphere in the short space allotted. Fixation was a whole menagerie of things: funny, uncomfortable, funny again, awkward, weird, more funny, heart-wrenching, funnier, and all around awesome. I could re-read this story once a week and probably find something new about it I adored. Another winner from Feisty. She is simply an amazing writer and storyteller.

---

Judges' Picks:

I asked the judges to send me along their favorite entries, along with a blurb explaining why.

Deadliest Catch

by

araeo

Edward has a big project to do. Bella's been sentenced to community service. Add in some promiscuous parasites, dusty books, and maple doughnuts, and you get my entry for the AwkWard Contest. Rated M for language and adult content. AH/AU.
Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 9,776 - Reviews: 55 - Published: 3-18-10 - - Bella/Edward

Judge #1 - This story completely grabbed me from the very first line. My eyes widened, my forehead crinkled, and then I shook out my head and kept reading. "My name is Edward Cullen, and I have crabs" is probably the most interesting first line I've ever read, and my attention didn't falter until the story was over. This science-dorky Edward kept me laughing and smiling the entire time. The author did an excellent job developing the relationship between Bella and Edward in a believable and incredibly sweet and awkward way. This was exactly like two college students cautiously flirting with each other. In fact the flirting and UST was done so naturally that I didn't realize exactly how well it had been done until they finally kiss. This is pretty much my favorite kind of story to read: awkward and bumbling, sweet, really funny, and overall just fun. I loved it.

It's Just a Flesh Wound

by

Zigster

The need for a band-aid can cause a crush. Edward cuts his finger, and a strange, overenthusiastic boy offers to help. Entry for the AwkWard contest. AH/AU Hookahs and spit-takes abound.
Rated: M - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,637 - Reviews: 39 - Published: 3-16-10 - - Edward/Jasper

Judge #2 - I love the closed world of this sensual fic; the absence of superfluous characters brings out the fantastic details of the surreal setting and the unusual personalities. A simple accident escalates into the strange shock of first contact and returned chemistry, but most of the awkwardness comes from Edward’s own discomfort with himself-

“He feels warm, and his voice is relaxed and inviting. This person is clearly not an introvert, like me, and for that, I'm intimidated.”

-and the situation only gets more delightful as his world is thrown off-kilter by the encounter.

One Cup of Chunky Peanut Butter

by

jennlynnfs

Entry for the AwkWard Contest. With best friend Angela moving forward in her relationship with Ben, Bella feels she's being left behind. She tries to remedy the situation by going for Edward Cullen, but being inexperienced makes for awkward situations.
Rated: M - English - Romance/General - Chapters: 1 - Words: 22,267 - Reviews: 183 - Published: 3-18-10 - - Bella/Edward

Judge #3 - So... I pick number #27. It had fantastic UST, bella was so adorkably awkward and Edward was sweet and cute and hot.

Soooo, yeah thats way less than 100 words isn't it?

Yes, it was, but I heart your brevity.

Strapped

by

queenofpancakes7

FOR THE AWKWARD CONTEST - by bananapancakes7 & queenofgrey - Some anniversary memories are meant to be scrapbooked. Some are meant to be scrapped, completely. Rated M for cringe-worthy situations, inappropriate language, & sex that is all kinds of weird.
Rated: M - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 2 - Words: 6,371 - Reviews: 33 - Published: 3-17-10 - - Edward/Bella

Judge #4 - Since I wasn't privy to the title or summary beforehand, I figured it out right before it was said, so I'm pretty sure my mouth was hanging open, followed by an "OH NO THEY ARENT GOING THERE" followed by cringing through the rest of the story.

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Host Picks:

Long Time Coming

by

SunKing

She was always in this thoughts, his dreams, his fantasies. He has one last chance to lay it all on the line and win the girl. Trouble is, she used to be his baby-sitter. An entry for the "AwkWard" contest.
Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,337 - Reviews: 76 - Published: 3-16-10 - - Edward/Bella

Manyafandom - I choose “Long Time Coming” by SunKing as my host pick because it made me sigh and smile and aww all while making me feel for Edward and his pursuit of his dream girl, Bella. Is there anything more endearing than wanting the one person you think is truly unattainable? Nope, there sure isn’t. We see Edward go from a shy, quiet 9 year old bookworm that Bella babysits to a still shy, quiet 21 year old bookworm and soccer star that after 12 years still wants his dream girl Bella. His journey through adolescence and early adulthood and his pursuit of older dream girl Bella is realistic, while still being whimsical and cute and incredibly awkward. You cheer for him and hope that he’ll get his girl in the end. You’ll just have to read to find out if he does. It’s not just the story or characters that drew me in, I loved the narrative and words that SunKing used. I’m kinda hoping she continues this, just a little bit. Don’t get me wrong, the story is complete. But I would love to see what happens next. Oh and there is a funny, awkward and provocative first time wank.

Two Left Feet

by

Drawde.C

Bella is so clumsy she can hardly stay on her feet. Edward isn't much better and is terribly shy and has deplorable social skills. Can he win her over? One shot for the AwkWard Contest. AH.
Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 2 - Words: 21,713 - Reviews: 38 - Published: 3-14-10 - Edward/Bella

Angstgoddess003 - Everything about this story was good. The writing was solid. The storytelling drew me in. The characters were complete and three dimensional. As a story, it was great. But honestly? I chose Two Left Feet because it was just the embodiment of awkward to me. It was everything I wanted to see come out of this contest, and then some. Edward is a fundamentally awkward person, but I think what I enjoyed most about Two Left Feet was Drawde.C's ability to SHOW me awkwardness. There were a few times where I had to look away from the screen and just... giggle. I love that her writing evoked so much emotion in me, was so visceral, that I could physically feel it, in my bones, through my smile and literal cringing. Watching Edward's attempts to get closer to Bella was just... sigh. So adorkable.

"So later that day when I entered the kitchen and heard Bella telling Jasper how much better Oreo McFlurry's were over the M&M ones I'd jumped at the chance and loudly proclaimed, "Amen, Gurlfran!", and started wriggling my body and flailing my arms awkwardly.

Bella did not laugh."

She didn't, but my God. I sure as fuck did. I'm still laughing. I'll probably still be laughing over that next month.

Also, it didn't hurt that Two Left Feet had the hottest dry hump in God only knows how long... just saying.

Thanks so much to everyone who entered and voted! And congrats to the winners of the amazing entries! Really, when fandom gets saturated with a slew of this many adorable, sweet, uncomfortable, shy, amazing AwkWards, aren't we all winners?

Guest Fic Rec: Gemmabobella Gets Brave

Sunking
Brave - T/PG-13
AH, Friendship/Romance
5 Chapters, 17,661 Words
11/15/2009 - Completed
[ FFN ] [ Twilighted ]

Edward has suffered anxiety attacks for as long as he can remember. When new girl Bella arrives, he finds that she inspires a calm he's never known. As she helps to bring him out of his shell, he finds courage he never knew he had.

Gemmabobella's

I am so glad to have the opportunity to recommend this story, Brave. I stumbled upon this story as a judge for the Indie Twific Awards, and I was immediately blown away by it. It is one of those T rated fics that can so easily be overlooked, but is quite possibly one of the best novellas I've read ... ever. It is told with such tenderness and written so well. I couldn't help but take the time to read slowly, read each and every word, and become completely wrapped up in the story.

It is the story of a very human Edward who suffers from cripling anxiety attacks, so severe that he is incapable of interacting with anyone outside of his family. Well, at least until he meets Bella. As is very canon, Edward is immediately aware of Bella and is suprised both by her kindness and her ability to understand his anxiety.

She was beautiful. And she was staring right at me with deep brown eyes full of understanding and compassion. They sparkled with just a bit of humor, but not enough to make me feel as if she might be amused by my distress.

Bella is able to understand Edward's anxiety, and discovers that the best way to communicate with him is through passing notes. What I find truly amazing is the fact that no one had to tell Bella why Edward sat isolated from the rest of the students in class, no one told her why his hands were in tight fists and he was nearly shaking with his attempt to control his anxiety, and no one explained Edward's anxiety.

There is something truly special about the instant bond that seems to form between Edward and Bella. Knowing how difficult every day life is for Edward, I couldn't help but feel his relief right along with him as he realizes that there is something different about Bella.

I read the note three times, almost laughing aloud each time. For the first time in years, I looked directly into the eyes of someone other than my family and smiled. In addition to a heart-achingly adorable Edward and Bella, I also fell in love with the supporting case of Cullens.

I especially loved the way Sunking wrote Rosalie's character. Here, she is Emmett's girlfriend, but acts and behaves as if she were truly Edward's older sister. She is protective without being too bitchy, and I found her characterization to be refreshing. But mostly I love the way all of the characters are written, and getting to know them through Edward's eyes. Because of his condition, he is mostly an observer of life as it happens around him, and as such gives him a unique perspective on others. It allows his narrative to be incredibly insightful as well as credible.

As the story progresses and Edward continues to make progress, little by little thanks to Bella's influence, you can't help but cheer him along and celebrate each of his little accomplishments. Every time he actually speaks, I wanted to reach through the screen and give him a huge hug.

I wanted to describe my parents for her, but the words still just wouldn't come. I did manage to say, "I'm glad you're joining us tonight." Her face lit up as if I'd told her she'd won the lottery. She never pushed me to speak, but her happiness when I did encouraged me to try more often.

As the story continues, we follow Edward as he decides to try medication to manage his anxiety; something that had failed and nearly caused him to commit suicide the last time he had tried medication. It is here that we truly get a sense of how severe his anxiety is and how desperate he is to conquer his anxiety. Through it all, Bella is there by his side, encouraging him and comforting him. Where things might have become too cheesy or too saccharine, Sunking manages to keep things simple and honest.

I felt my throat clog with emotion and turned away before she could see the tears fill my eyes. The little pill weighed heavily in my palm and I pulled myself up with a new purpose. Fix it. Deserve her.

And when the medication starts to work, Edward is blessed with a full night's sleep and a beautiful dream of his Bella. The tone of the story shifts to one of hope, and like Edward's friends and family, I felt a great sense of pride in his strength and perserverence as he struggled through the different medications. His drive to be better for Bella is simply endearing. Bella, perhaps, describes it best in one of her notes to him; as his hope begins to show in his music.

You have such an amazing gift, Edward. I can tell a difference in your playing in the last few weeks. There's a lighter touch to the sonatas and a deeper meaning to the nocturnes. It feels almost as if you've put your own personal experiences into each song that you play, and they touch me even more deeply than before. I know that the sleep you get now, and the concentration that you've gained, help. But there's something more. There's a note of hope, an overtone of happiness, and it makes it that much more beautiful.

The final hurdle that Edward faces in this short story is his audition and application to Julliard. But this time, the anxiety he experiences is the kind that most people would experience in his place. But for Edward, the anxiety is also linked to his fear that if he were accepted, it would mean his separation from Bella as well.

She is there with him at the audition, along with his family, encouraging him.

I turned to Bella, drinking her in with my eyes. Her hair was down and in soft curls from Alice's efforts. A deep blue turtleneck set off the rose of her cheeks. Her eyes, though, were what I would remember as I set my music on the stand. They were glowing with pride; she believed in me, even when I couldn't believe in myself. Her strength had led me here, and it would sustain me until I reached the door on the other side.

The way Sunking writes his audition is incredibly beautiful and touching. As a musician, I always appreciate it when an author manages to capture what it truly means to be a musican, to play music, to completely give yourself to the music you play. With every word, I felt my heart slowly work its way up into my throat. I know I said it above, but it bears repeating; this story is told with such tenderness and it really touched me.

The final chapter is a culmination of everything that brought Edward to his audition, and ties the story together perfectly. I really could quote the entire chapter in here, it is all so good. But I won't. Because I know you are going to go read this short little story right now, just like you should.

I don't want to spoil the ending, because it truly is beautiful. I will, however, leave you with this...

I didn't think that anything could make me happier that day, but I hadn't counted on Bella.

This is truly a touching story, and is written remarkably well. Any story that forces me to slow down and really absorb each and every word is something special - especially in this fandom where it is easy for a story to become weighted down by cliche's and familiar storylines. This novella is perfectly short and sweet.

Be sure to visit Sunking's author page, as she's also written Bella's perspective of Brave, called Catch Your Fall. You'll also want to read Brave: Tomorrow, for a look at Edward and Bella's future.

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Gemmabobella, aka Gemma, is the author of Lost and Found and its companion story, Amazing Grace, as well as Let's Get Physical, Going Down?, and a few others. She wishes she didn't need to sleep so that she could spend more time writing and doing everything else in life she wants to do instead of work. She has a black lab that she loves, and is lucky enough to call herself a professional musician. Her family doesn't understand her obsession with the TapFish app on her iphone, where she takes care of imaginary fish, but then again, she doesn't understand why her family is so crazy - so it works.