Smut 101: UST

UST: Unresolved Sexual Tension, The Non-Smut

So I’m back again for yet another installment of this journey through all things smutty and smexy in TwiFic. This time we’re going to talk about the non-smut smut: UST or Unresolved Sexual Tension. UST is often a forgotten element in smut/sex. It’s not smut, but it makes the smut/sex all that much better.

Guideline #4: Leave them wanting more. Penetration isn’t the only way to leave the readers panting.

Now some of you may be asking what is UST, and how is it any different than angst? Tension is tension, right?

Well, I have my own definition, but I also wiki’d that shit, as well as googled it. Here is what my searches on the interwebs came up with:

From Indopedia:

Unresolved sexual tension is a common mechanism in fiction, which enables the relationship between characters to build up a powerful erotic charge without actually becoming sexual.

Unresolved sexual tension is a common scriptwriter's technique, and was used to provide the main character drive in TV series such as Moonlighting. When the sexual tension was resolved, the tension that made the relationship interesting to the audience disappeared.

From Wikipedia:

Sexual tension is the occurrence between two people (which is often found in works of fiction) in which two or more of the individuals sexually long for one another, but the consummation is postponed or never occurs. This longing is often suggested by incidents of intimacy; for instance, when two people or characters are alone, are physically close, but desire is never explicitly expressed.

Here’s my definition of Unresolved Sexual Tension: physical or emotional feelings of lust, love, or desire that are not acted upon or openly admitted, which create a heightened atmosphere surrounding the characters and their environment.

Now I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Angst when talking about UST. The two aren’t mutually exclusive, but depending on the story, they sometimes go hand in hand. Angst is emotional distress or strife caused by a variety of factors, but mostly in TwiFic it’s miscommunication or feelings of not being worthy of your chosen partner and their affections. Sometimes the angst is caused by the UST, but as I stated earlier, the two aren’t mutually exclusive. For the most part, it depends on the story and the way the writer tells it.

So now we know what UST is and how it can relate to Angst, why is UST a good thing?

UST sounds like a total cock/clitblock? It is - it’s the sweetest kind of torture for the reader, and we love it. That doesn’t mean that it’s a bad thing in the slightest. There is a general consensus that UST is a good thing. The majority of the readers I polled preferred UST to actual smut, now that is saying something. It was brought to my attention though, that we all love UST, but beg authors to just get the characters together already, an interesting dichotomy.

If done well, UST can excite & entertain the reader just as much as the actual smut/sex does; our pulse races, breathing deepens, palms sweat, and we're glued to the edge of our computer chairs wondering if the characters will finally get together, or kiss, or throw each other on to the nearest flat stable surface and boink like bunnies. The characters can, and often do, eventually consummate their passion and lust, but the slow build, the smolder, the barely contained fire on the way to them hopping into the bed is the good shit.

The reader will feel the UST more than the smut on most occasions. The mood and atmosphere of the scene where UST is present is often more palpable than actual smut scenes. I honestly don’t know why that is, why the reader's senses are heightened in the moment where UST is present, it just is. If someone figures it out, let me know.

When the characters eventually do find themselves in bed and the tension is resolved, it’s all the more meaningful and sweeter for the reader if the build-up to it tortured them a little bit; we’re masochist that way. It also can be more meaningful to the characters if they have struggles with their attraction to their chosen partner. It makes the consummation of their desires, passion and love more than the physical act they are partaking in.

Okay, it’s agreed that UST is a good thing, but are there any bad sides to it?

Well, it is a good thing, but it can be taken too far sometimes. If an author drags out the tension - the will they/won’t they, the almost kisses, it can be too much for readers. It’s a very fine balance between the sweet torture and the ‘driving bamboo slivers under the nail beds of your readers’ kind of torture. The reader wants the resolution and are willing to give authors a little leeway on the road there, but don’t like it when it is abused.

I have dropped a fair number of fics when the UST reached epic proportions of ridiculousness, and it seemed the author was only dragging it out to make the story longer. It’s frustrating to the reader, and to be honest, pisses them off. You take the reader right to the edge, only to turn back around without letting them enjoy it. No one likes that, so have at it, but don’t get too carried away.

Alright, no torturing the reader too much, now how does one go about putting UST into a story?

A very good question and one that doesn’t have a definitive answer. There is no one way to have UST in a story. UST is all about inaction and near misses, whereas smut is all about actions.

Writing smut/sex is like a math formula. Anyone remember the ‘Friends’ episode where Monica draws Chandler a picture with erogenous zones numbered on it and shows him how to properly please a woman? Writing smut/sex is kind of like that in a way.

(Kissing body part 1, 2, 3 + licking/nibbling/biting body part 2, 4, 5) + (touching body part
2, 5, 7 + kissing of body part 1, 3, 5) + (body part X÷ by body part V x ∞) = Smut/Sex.

Swirl in a some emotion and sprinkle with a little well-placed dirty dialogue, bake at inferno temperature to a golden brown and you’ve got yourself some tasty smut. Lather, rinse and repeat. I’m mixing my metaphors, but you get my point.

Now with UST, as stated above, there are no actions. It’s inaction or only very minor actions; almost kisses, accidental touches, interrupted moments, darkened hooded-eyed looks, gentle caresses, stuttered words, toying with ones intended interest, wanting to act, but holding back, finding the chosen interest nearly naked, etc…

Really almost anything can cause UST, the possibilities are infinite. It’s all in how the author uses any given situation to create that heightened atmosphere that surrounds their characters. It can be sweet, awkward, loving, panties on fire hot, or any combination of these and so many other possibilities. I think that is part of the appeal, that almost and anything can have UST in it.

Here is an example of awkward UST from

The Wingman

by ninapolitan

:

Tingles weren’t present. Not at all. They were replaced by fucking tremors that left me blushing furiously with my mouth gaping open. “Bella? I asked if you wanted to sit down?” He smiled.

“W-what? You were talking? Shit, what am I doing here,” I stammered. Jesus Christ, he probably thought there was something wrong with me.

Letting go of the paper, he moved the stool that was next to him out to make room for me to squeeze in. I tried to gracefully sit down, but my foot missed the bottom rung and flew forward with a thud into Edward. My face was mashed into his neck and my senses were overloaded.

“Mmmm,” I moaned as my nose nestled near his Adam’s apple and breathed in all things Edward. Man, morning, coffee, all mixed with the scent of the maple syrup that was swirling around the restaurant.

“B-Bella?” he choked out, the stubble on his neck was tickling my lips. Oh my God, I was practically licking his neck. Taking another quick inhale, I backed away and began to apologize profusely.

“Holy shit Edward, I-I’m so sorry,” I shouted at him causing most of the restaurant to turn and look at me.

Peeling my lips away from his neck, I slinked back into the stool and quickly picked up a menu to hide behind. Capturing a quick glance at him, I noticed that his breathing was heavy and his one hand was crushing the newspaper, while the other was resting with his palm flat in his lap. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered and watched as his lips turned down in a grimace.

“It’s okay. It was just…I um,” he stammered and shifted in his seat.

By using Bella’s inherent clumsiness (something that is used often, but isn’t overdone) to get them closer physically, it stirs whatever they are feeling towards each other. The characters try to remain coherent enough to talk to one another and not sound like morons. It’s the initial stumble and eventual recovery that makes it awkward and funny, while making the reader want to have the characters do it all over again.

Here is a loving and innocent example of UST from “

Vampire in the Basement

”

by michellephants

:

His t-shirt stuck to his body and I eyed him appreciatively. I needed to get him in the rain more often.

It wasn’t as though the water was warm. In fact, if I let myself concentrate on it, the slamming droplets combined with the chilly Washington weather was anything but. However, I had other things to concentrate on, and I found myself able to completely disregard the forced shivers running through my body. My mind refused to work cohesively as I neared him, considering all the reasons for and against pushing him. I didn’t have much time to make a decision, and my excitement at our reunion was growing with each step.

When he was finally within my reach, I extended my arm and took his hand. He was shaking too, but for entirely different reasons. I didn’t care. He was alive, in one piece, and at the house. If I knew anything, it was not to take this for granted.

Without any words, I pulled him to me, releasing his trembling fingers as our bodies connected and opting to lock my arms around his back, instead. I pressed myself flat against him and could have died when his arms encircled my shoulders. His face found the nape of my neck and I smiled against his chest. Kiss or no kiss, the new plan was that I would never let go of him again. Surely we could find a way to make it work?

But we were drenched, and I was freezing, and admittedly, Edward wasn’t entirely comfortable in weather that he had never experienced first hand before. I couldn’t think past the feel of his arms wrapped around mine, but I knew that my body was betraying me more with every passing moment. I tried to nuzzle further into him, in a vain effort to quell my trembles, but I was failing. The metaphorical warmth of his body offered nothing to mine physically.

He inhaled, allowing his nose to contact the skin below my ear. And just like that, every argument I had come up with against kissing him suddenly faded. But then he pulled away, giving me a chance to pull myself together. Making a rash decision when it came to kissing Edward could be the worst mistake of my life. It was important that I consider it from all angles.

When I didn’t budge, I saw his lips turn up slightly, before he moved his hands behind his back to encircle my wrists.

Gently, he pried my hands apart and distanced us just enough for me to see his entire face.

He smiled tentatively when he looked at me, then turned his head to the porch. I nodded, clasping my hand around his and leading us out of the rain.

It's Bella’s indecision and overwhelming need to kiss, hold, and reconnect with her vampire, consequences be damned, that makes this sweet and innocent. She wants nothing more than to touch her lips to his, but because of circumstances beyond their control, she can’t. It’s sweet and bittersweet at the same time. Also, this is a good example of how UST can also cause angst.

Now for the panties on fire example of UST, this one is from “

Deconstructing Dracula

”

by hmonster4

:

“It’s not safe for you to be out here alone. You never know who might swoop in and try to accost you.”

I kept my eyes closed. I had come out here to clear my head. That included him.

“I’m fine. I just needed a breather. I don’t need anyone to baby sit me.”

“You’ll catch your death out here.”

I didn’t want him to be here. If I didn’t look at him, maybe he would get the hint and go away.

The noise from the club, or the sound of the cars, must have masked his footsteps. I didn’t register the sound of him moving closer. I didn’t realize he was standing next to me until I felt his arms wrap around me. He pulled me in close and ran his hands up and down my back in an attempt to chafe some warmth into me.

“You are damned stubborn. Can’t you just acknowledge that I want to be out here with you?”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?” I brought my hands up to his chest in an effort to push him away.

“I know that you have fun fucking with my head, but I can’t deal with this. I am not a game!”

I felt totally vulnerable and exposed. I didn’t understand all these feelings and reactions he brought out in me, and I didn’t trust my judgment.

But instead of letting me go, Edward pulled me in tighter.

“You aren’t a game. I wish you were, lord help me I wish you were. But I can’t get you out of my head.”

I didn’t need to hear this. I pushed my hands against his chest in an attempt to break free.

“Isabella, stop. You need to hear me out, please.”

I tried to push away again, but it was feeble effort at best. I liked the feeling of his arms around me.

It’s the “I want you so much even though I shouldn’t, so I’m going to fight it with everything in me” that makes this example so steamy and hot. It’s the feeling of wanting to give into desires, while knowing the smart thing to do would be to run like hell in the opposite direction.

All of these examples titillate and tantalize the reader, leaving them wanting more. That is really the whole point of UST: to leave the reader wanting more, wanting the next step, wanting that almost kiss to be a real kiss, wanting the touches longer, and wanting it all to come to a head when the characters finally surrender to what they are feeling.

Remember, the slow burn is usually the hottest!

Sounds good, are there any more?

There are a massive amount of fics that utilize UST in a very good way. Honestly there were too many examples to choose from, so I picked my favorites for above. When I asked people to give me the best of the best in UST, the below list is what they gave me. Check them out and see if you agree.

A Hearts Savior

E/B AU-AH

A Matter of Convenience

E/B AU-AH

Bare

E/B AU-AH

Behind Enemy Lines

E/B AU-AH

Boycotts and Barflies

E/B AU-AH

Breaking

E/B AU-AH

Breaking Bella

E/B AU-AH

Breathe Again

Jacob/Bella AU

Campus Liasons

E/B AU-AH

Celefaction

E/B/J AU

Clipped Wings and Inked Armor

E/B AU-AH

Confessions of a Nanny

E/B AU-AH

Deconstructing Dracula

E/B AU-AH

Desperation

Jasper/Bella AU-AH

Hiding in Plain Sight

E/B AU-AH

Hydraulic Level 5

E/B AU-AH

I Can Feel Our Hearts Beating As One

Jacob/Bella AU

I Hate You, Kiss Me

E/B AU-AH

Irritable Grizzly Adams

E/B AU-AH

Just One of the Guys

E/B AU-AH

La Canzone della Bella Cigna

E/B AU-AH

Left Holding the Bag

AU-AH

Lost and Found

E/B AU-AH

Maybe I’m Amazed

E/B AU-AH

My Brothers Best Friend

E/B AU-AH

Oh, Inverted World

E/B AU-AH

Place Your Bets

E/B AU-AH

Sanctuary

E/B AU-AH

Scotch, Gin and the New Girl

E/B AU-AH

Show Me a Garden That’s Bursting to Life

E/B/J E/J AU-AH

Stitches and Scars

E/B AU-AH

The Best Man

E/B AU-AH

The Blessing and The Curse

E/B AU-AH

The Caged Bird

E/B AU-AH

The Highwayman

E/B AU-AH

The Lost Boys

E/B AU-AH

The Wingman

E/B AU-AH

Trust in Advertising

E/B AU-AH

Untouchable

E/B AU-AH

Vampire in the Basement

E/B AU

When Fiction Becomes Reality

E/B AU-AH

Will You Still Love Me In December?

Jacob/Bella AU

---

manyafandom is the author who makes multiples romantic, slash delicious and brings the deviant goodness to the shack. She hopes to in the future to write an IC/Canon Pairing/Vamp story with No Smut to prove she really isn't as big of a perv/deviant as people think she is. She enjoys almost all kinds of twific as long as it's well written and has a good story.

Smut 101: Why So Serious? Sex is Funny. No lie.

Why So Serious? Sex is Funny. No lie.

Yeah, I know I’m stealing “The Dark Knight” tagline, but it’s appropriate. Think about it, think about the last time you had sex…yeah, I see those gears a turning. You’re on the same page as me now, Sex is funny. Lighten up and enjoy it.

But before we dig in let us review, because I’m all about the review. Here are the previous rules or guidelines for smut writing:

• Guideline #1:

  Make It Essential

• Guideline #2:

  Emotions Instead of Physicalities, Less is Always More

• Guideline #3:

  Choose Your Words Carefully

And now this week’s guideline for your informational and entertainment enjoyment and pleasure:

---

Guideline #4: Sex is Funny; it doesn’t have to be so serious.

Now, we all love the mind-blowing, transcendental, going to another plane of existence, love making smut/sex. The smut/sex where the characters are connected body and soul, the love is flowing like raging rivers between the characters, it’s extremely intimate, they can anticipate each

other’s moves and needs, and it’s almost as if they are having synchronized sex. This is not the smut I am talking about.

That is fantasy sex and not the kind that sometimes requires props and various food products *winkwink*. It’s the fantasy of having that type of experience that draws us to fanfiction in the first place. We want the fantasy. We want to read about things that we don’t have. We want to immerse ourselves in the love and romance. We want to escape into the fantasy that fanfiction or any fiction creates for us. Now, some of us are lucky enough ladies and have experienced sex like that. And boy howdy is it awesome, but…

Sex/smut like described above is not the norm. Yes it does happen and it’s mind-blowing and euphoric, but…most sex is NOT like that in real life, it just isn’t. Not all sex is dreamlike and perfect. Now I know that most of us don’t want to read about boring, everyday, vanilla smut/sex. That doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist, or doesn’t exist in fanfiction. It does, but there are ways to make the realistic sex appealing to the reader. Characters having “real” sex endears them to the reader and lets the reader emphasize and connect to them on another level.

!!Again with the warning, Thar be Graphic/Explicit content ahead!!

Now, when I say let the smut/sex be funny, there are two categories in particular that I am referring to:

Funny Mishaps and Real Sex

.

The

Funny Mishaps

, you know the ones I’m talking about: characters fall off the bed, humorous first times, characters blurting out random things in the heat of the moment, inexperienced fumbling, etc… We’ve all had those moments in real life, be honest you know you have.

These scenes are not limited to the comedy fics, though they are prevalent in those. Any story, even the drama and angst-laden, can have a funny moment or two. It breaks the tension and heaviness of a story, giving us a little relief. Characters not having perfect, orgasms-at-the-same-time sex is good for a laugh and lets us connect with the characters.

Most sex doesn’t go off without a hitch, especially the first time. Losing the V-card is not a magical, orgasm inducing experience for most women. It’s painful and scary and really you just want to get it over with. Yes, it’s an intense experience, but intense because of the pain involved sometimes. To combat all this, some authors choose to go the funny route. Here are some examples:

alphadork

and her

“Lemony Squickets: A Series of Unfortunate Attempts”

is a whole story about how sometimes the first time doesn’t go off exactly as planned, and in real life, it rarely does.

I nodded and bit my lip, gripping the sheets in preparation for the pain I was sure I was about to experience. He slid the tip of his cock into me and I screamed.

“Holy fuck, get it out, get it out, get it out!”

Unfortunately, I startled Edward with my shrieks and he ended up impaling me further. I started pounding on his shoulders, frantic to stop the invasion of my lady parts.

“Bella,” he ground out between his tightly clenched teeth. “You need to relax. I can’t get it in or out with you clenched so tight. Take some deep breaths. Count to ten. Visualize fluffy kittens frolicking on a warm beach. Anything. Just for the love of all that is holy you need to relax before you squeeze my dick right off!”

I took several deep breaths. I counted to ten. I visualized fluffy kittens frolicking with adorable puppies on a pristine beach. Nothing could distract me from the mammoth penis I was certain was maiming me for life.

“It’s not working Edward. The fluffy kittens can’t distract me from the fact that I am being torn in two by your behemoth cock!”

Edward was shaking and panting at this point. His eyes were closed and his fingers were digging into my hips. He bit down on my breast and the surprise of it distracted me enough for him to quickly pull his dick out of the stranglehold I had been holding it in.

Another funny first time is in

Mr. Horrible

by

algonquinrt

.

Oh my god. Even if she punches me right now and races to the kitchen for a knife and plays Lorena Bobbitt, I will not care I am inside Baby Swan. And it is fuckawesome, as she would say.

…

Fuck, is she tight. I'm clenching my teeth just to keep from pulling out and thrusting back into her just to feel it again. She's clawing at my arms now, and it might help if I focus on her anger instead of the feeling... oh god... she just fucking sneezed and oh my god, I want to come.

Wait... angry... hellcat... focus.

“Bella? Sweetheart? Is it getting better?”

“Sweetheart?” she shrieks. “Are you fucking kidding me? You fucking impale me, ripping me apart, possibly destroying any potential for future childbearing, and you call me fucking 'sweetheart?'”

I press my forehead to hers, groaning and laughing at the same time. She's tensing as she's yelling and has no idea what that's doing to my cock. Her anger is not helping my self-control.

I need to tame her fury, and I kiss her, sweetly, with gentle nips and tiny licks until I feel her melting in my arms again. I pull back, just the most minute amount, before shifting back toward her again. There is no pause in her mouth moving against mine, so I try again, pulling back a bit farther before sinking into her again.

She moans, but doesn't push me off and that's all the encouragement I need. I move my hand to her clit, hoping to at least make her feel good as I begin to move, but it's just too much and I manage only a few more thrusts before I come so hard I'm shaking.

These moments, though funny, are still tender and somewhat sweet. Adding the humor diffused the intensity and seriousness, making the moment memorable and unique. As well as making us giggle.

Now physical comedy and awkward moments are also a good way to go when writing smut/sex. It’s good for a laugh and again endears the characters to the reader. I’m not saying do physical bodily harm…or not that much bodily harm, a little is okay. Physical comedy, awkwardness and smut/sex go hand in hand I think. It’s not utilized enough in Twific. Hopefully more people will jump on the bandwagon. Here are a few examples of physical comedy and awkwardness:

In her Smut Monday

“The Not-So-Mile-High Club”

contribution,

4theluvofMary

does physical comedy perfectly. There are so many funny mishaps between these two and I laughed the entire time I read. It starts off in an airplane bathroom and the funny keeps on coming all the way to the hotel after landing. Here are a few snippets.

When I inched her back to press her up against the wall, I bumped her into the sink.

"Ow!"

"Sorry," I mumbled.

I pivoted and tried to seek leverage against another wall, but it was no use. I was spinning around trying to get us comfortable, bumping into the door repeatedly.

"Bella, put your left foot down right there," I motioned to the bench seat that the toilet was set in.

She complied with my wish, only, her foot never made it to the bench. It came splashing down in the toilet, sloshing that disgusting blue liquid everywhere.

"Ew!" Bella pushed me away roughly as she looked down to see her leg dripping with blue. "Gross!"

…

All of the sudden Bella was falling over the edge, her orgasm pulling me along with her. I shuddered and shook violently as I came.

And then...what the fuck? I was falling over the edge! Literally! I watched in horror as Bella and I tumbled to the ground along with the mattress, my cock still buried deep inside her. I was really concerned I had hurt her somehow.

Bella started giggling...it turned into hysterical laughter as she realized our situation. We had been going at it so hard we pushed the mattress off the box spring.

"God Edward, that was...incredible."

"Mhm..." I nuzzled into her neck, even though we were almost perpendicular with the ground. "Let's do that again."

Shit, did I say that out loud?

"Definitely. But next time let's do it in your room. I don't know if my poor bed can handle anymore abuse."

Next time? Fuck. Yes.

Another author that is so good at bringing the funny is the one and only

halojones

. She has several funny moments spread out across all of her stories, but the most memorable one to me is the “corn threading” moment from

I Hate Myself for Loving You

. And here it is:

But his head popped up like a jack-in-the-box when I unsnapped his jeans button. I took a quick peek upwards - his jaw was dropped.

Damn, first Alice, now Edward. Why does everyone act like I'm such an ice crotch? You would have thought I was growing horns by the look on his face.

Husk...

I unzipped his zipper quickly - maybe a little too quickly, because he smarted like I snagged on something...which I tried not to think about too much. But then there was a problem I hadn't anticipated.. He sprung out of the gates with the unzipping, and I stared down south for a good long minute.

Good Lord. Special Guest Lisa from San Jose and Ray Ray didn't prepare me for this. It was like practicing on a Hot Wheels tricycle and then being road tested on a Harley.

"Bella," Edward asked softly.

Husk!

I just shook my head slightly, and shut him up with a kiss. I kept trying to push his pants down farther, but my mind kept racing back to the scene of the crime just moments earlier. And the fact that I was using corn language to handle the crime scene investigation was a good sign I was in over my head...

"Get It? Head?"

Shut up, Alice.

Edward hitched his hips up slightly to help me with his pants. I wiggled them down to his knees and he sat back down.

Crap, did I have to do this slip and slide thing all over again with his boxers too?

My question was answered by...Harley. He twitched right through the front opening of the boxers, presenting himself in all his glory.

God, it was odd to finally meet him face to face, when all these weeks we'd only met in passing on my thigh during makeout sessions on my bed. I almost felt like we should shake hands...

Oh wait, that's step two...

Grab the Base.

I took a quick breath through my nose and I grabbed. I grabbed firmly and confidently just like Ray Ray, letting Harley know who was in charge.

Which in turn, caused Edward to make a weird noise. Not that cute little squeak, or that low groan that I've heard before...but a sort of cry...

"Oh, shit, did I hurt you," I asked breathlessly.

He shook his head - a little too adamantly. "No, honey, you're fine. Just maybe a little less tight."

He was speaking through clenched teeth. That's a good sign, right?

Sure thing, less tight...I eased up slightly.

Thread...

I began to "thread" upwards, slowly. But something hit me as I started the ascent; there was friction going on, which I know was the point. But it seemed like a little too MUCH friction for his end. Like how it feels when someone gives you an Indian Burn on your arm in third grade...

That can't be a good sign, right?

I tried not to be too mortified as I threaded back down to homebase.

Hehe, I’m giggling after reading that and if you aren’t too, then I don’t know what to tell you. Cause that shit is funny. It's Bella’s innocence, inexperience and desire to please Edward, and do it right, that makes the moment sweet and meaningful while bringing the funny in spades.

Adding humor or comedy to a smut scene doesn’t diminish its meaningfulness to the characters or the story. The opposite in fact, it only increases it. Now comedy and humor are hard, probably the hardest thing to write in my opinion, but it’s worth the effort. You’ll be proud of what you written and your readers will enjoy it that much more.

Now the other category:

Real Sex

. Real sex in fanfiction doesn’t have to be a let-down or boring. Now sex in real life is funny, but not because it’s funny, I know that makes no sense but bare with me here.

In real life sex, people bump into each other, it’s messy and sweaty and kinda gross (come on, admit it - you know it’s true), there are weird faces and sounds, it can be mundane and a chore at times, awkward moments are prevalent,

hair gets pulled (and not in the good way), people rarely orgasm on command or even at the same time, the same thing with orgasm from penetration for women, premature ejaculation, legs and arms get in the way, men don’t recover immediately after orgasm, and coordinating movements can be a bitch (ever try moving from one position to another without some awkward fumbling? Yeah I didn’t think so).

But that’s what is real, that is actually happens during sex in real life. Real sex doesn’t often make an appearance in fanfiction, because again, we are looking for the fantasy when we look to fanfiction and fiction. No one really wants to read about the mechanics and what really happens in real sex, or do they?

The best example of inserting real life sex into fanfiction smut/sex that I know of is in

Consecuencias

by

Gustariana

. In this little snippet Bella makes her grocery list while her husband goes to town with his tongue.

Milk

Eggs
Cereal- I wonder if we should get Special K this time around.
Bacon
Are we running low on TP? I'll have to check before heading out.

God how long has it been? I am starting to get sore.

Shit, did he just say something?

"Bella, I could eat you for days," I heard my husband murmur.

Clearly I needed to pay more attention. It was crucial to keeping my husband happy. But after years of this I felt confident I knew just what to do or say, and still keep him happy. Besides, the dreaded dirty talk was anything but real to me. It was a recent addition to his repertoire. I was sure he got it from some cheap porn or something. I was still trying to understand why he felt we needed it, it felt so foreign.

As my mind wandered again and I started thinking of the laundry and bills I needed to pay, I had to force myself to get back to reality. To keep myself in the moment. I felt him rubbing at my clit while his tongue lapped around below. He was always so close and yet so far. This made the situation even more frustrating. It wasn't for his lack of trying- he clearly had a lot of enthusiasm. He just never hit the right spot, or his rhythm was off. There was always something, you know that feeling that something great is just out of your reach? Like if you stretch just a bit more you can reach it? That is how I felt about my orgasms- most of them were always just out of my reach. I was almost convinced it was me- his eagerness was really commendable. So, yeah, I must be the defective one.

After a few minutes, enough for me to figure out that this month we could pay a little bit more than the due amount on our Amex, I decided that my lack of focus was clearly an indication that it was just not going to happen tonight. I readied myself for an Oscar-worthy rendition that would put Sally to shame.

"Oh Yes... Yes... Oh God... Jake!" I yelled, while throwing my head back against the bed.

Now, I'm not ashamed to admit to doing just this a time or two during sexual relations. It’s honest and real and incredibly fucking funny. We feel for and identify with Bella because at one point, all of us have done that or felt that. We ‘get’ her right off the bat and understand her frustration.

It still can be magical or meaningful by adding certain real life sex attributes to a smut/sex scene. Interjecting something here and there doesn’t take away from the scene, it makes it real. Makes the characters real, makes the story that much more realistic to the reader.

I went digging for another example for this concept and didn’t come up with much. That just goes to show how underused it is. That is a shame. Again, I know most of us are looking for the fantasy, but by having the characters act in a realistic manner or have realistic experiences in the bedroom adds to their depth and our understanding of them.

So to sum up, smut/sex doesn’t have to always be so serious. It can affect the reader just as much by lightening up and adding a little humor or realism into the mix. Until next time, I wish you good smutting!

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manyafandom is the author who makes multiples romantic, slash delicious and brings the deviant goodness to the shack. She hopes to in the future to write an IC/Canon Pairing/Vamp story with No Smut to prove she really isn't as big of a perv/deviant as people think she is. She enjoys almost all kinds of twific as long as it's well written and has a good story.

Smut 101: Choose Your Words Carefully.

Choose Your Words Carefully.

Back again! This time we get a little bit more technical, a little bit less conceptual. Well…kinda, but first a quick review of previous guidelines.

• Guideline #1: Make It Essential, or please to be making the smut/sex have a purpose to the story and the characters, not just because its schmexy and you can.
• Guideline #2: Emotions Instead of Physicalities, Less is Always More. Or we don’t need to know how balls deep your character is inside the other, allude or focus on the feelings not the physical.

Okay, now that that’s over with down

Orbs could be the most overlooked phenomenon ever, providing glimpses on the 11th universe impaling our own, according to the m-theory of quantum physics. Or they could be little windows to the Middle Kingdom, the home of the Faery. Or they could be the souls of the dead. Or they could be tiny short-lived portals. Or they could be dust.

to serious business, but first…

Danger! Will Robinson Danger! Graphic and Explicit Content Below!!
(and I really, really mean it this time. no lie.)

In this installment we’re going to talk about words or about choosing your words carefully. I know you’re thinking WTF? is she going to come at us if we say the wrong thing? No, that’s not the type of choosing your words carefully I’m talking about. I’m talking about how the use of certain words set the tone for the scene, i.e. making love, fucking, wild monkey sex, etc.... How using certain words in the “heat of the moment” can ruin the mood quicker than Charlie coming home from work or Alice interrupting at a crucial moment like she always seems to do. How a character and their personality factor into which words they would say or think. Also we are going to talk about the most dreaded words in smut: Core, Center, Mound and Orbs. I’m also going to give you an informative and fun list of terms or euphemisms. So let’s get right to it shall we.

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Guideline #3:

Choose Your Words Carefully, they set the tone of the scene and define your characters. Now this is a basic rule/guideline that applies to all forms of writing as well I think. Make sure the verbs or nouns used fit the character saying or thinking them and the type of scene you are trying to convey.

Simple really … yeah not so much. It’s easy to use ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’ when writing sex/smut as it gets the point across and they are in your face words. But given the type of characters you’re writing they may not fit with the scene or the characters. Below are a few character types and corresponding possible scenes that will discuss specific word choices. Oh and all the examples are written by me, so they suck. I’m going to stick to use of ‘cock’, ‘dick’, ‘pussy’ and ‘cunt’ for these examples as they are the most commonly used graphic words.

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Character and Scene/Setting Types:

The Virgins and the “First Time”:

   Given the source material (The Twilight Saga) for the fanfiction that most of us are writing or reading we deal with a lot of virgins or virginal,

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innocent characters. Most virgins, even the horny 17-year-old ones of the male variety would probably not use ‘cock’, ‘pussy’, or ‘fuck’ when having their first sexual experience. The nervousness and excitement of the experience would counteract all the dirty words they would be thinking, if they were thinking them in the first place. The characters are about to take a big step and that experience should be treated respectfully. Of course this is all dependent on the type of story you’re telling, sometimes the first time is not about reverence or respect. When writing a “First Time” scene you have to take into account the behavior of the characters up to that point. A Bella that blushes at the mere thought of Edward kissing her would not bust out with a ‘cock’ in the middle of her first time, she would probably use ‘hardness’, ‘length’ or ‘penis’ when referring too, well Edward’s penis.

Example:

Female POV:

“He moved to lie between my thighs as I shivered not from the cold but at the thought of what was about to happen. His hardness nestled at my entrance as I braced myself for the pain that I knew was coming.”

Instead of:

“He pushed my thighs further apart as his cock slipped into my pussy as I waited with anticipation for his dick to enter me fully.”

Male POV:

“I fit my body between her thighs as the excitement of what was about to happen flowed through me. I felt myself at her entrance and fought back the overwhelming urge to thrust. I needed to go slow, to lessen the inevitable pain I knew I was going to cause.”

Instead of:

“My cock was right at her cunt and my brain was begging me to just bury my dick in her pussy without any regard to hurting her or her comfort or pleasure.”

All examples would work, but the examples using the less graphic and vague words seem to fit the scene better and endear us to the characters a little bit more. By using the less graphic words the focus seems to be not on the physical but the emotional, caring for the other person instead of one’s own self-gratification.

The Unattached Experienced and “Pure Fucking”:

   These are the sexually liberated and experienced characters. The ones that generally have had a fair amount of sex and are confident in their bedroom skills.

But for the most part they have never had sex with emotion, just pure fucking. This is the type of scene where the characters just can’t take the tension between them anymore and need to combat it in anyway necessary, usually by fucking each other’s brains out and multiple orgasms for the female. They would use the more graphic words and shy away from vague references to body parts and acts. It is all about the gratification and pleasure one receives during sex. It’s dirty, gritty, and raw and we fucking love it.

Example:

Female POV:

“His cock was throbbing as I positioned it to the entrance of my pussy. This was it; this was the moment that we had been building to. I was already on the edge of cumming as I slid down the length of his cock until I was fully seated; his cock stretched and filled my pussy like no man had before.”

Instead of:

“Grasping his manhood I guided him to my entrance, before slowly sliding him into me. My release was looming and feeling of him inside me almost pushed me over the edge. This is what I had been wanting; this was what we both needed.”

Male POV:

“The feeling of her small hand on my dick as she brought me to her pussy, like an offering to the Gods of her sex, was almost too much for me to handle. I need to be in this women and I needed it now. I felt the walls of her cunt wrapped around me like a glove as she buried my cock within her. When my cock was fully buried in her tight pussy I was amazed at how perfect a fit we were.”

Instead of:

“She guided me to her warmth, slowly allowing me to fill her. She was perfect and the feeling of being inside her was more than I had ever expected or experienced before.”

For this particular scene where lust and want are taking over all other thoughts and feelings the more graphic words convey the frenzy and base needs of the moment. Whereas the vague passages convey or possible allude to emotions that might not be there or felt yet by the characters.

Any character type and “Making Love”:

   Be it the first time the characters are intimate after admitting their feelings or the millionth time they’ve made love, there is a reverence and intimacy to the act.

It needs to be respected and handled with kid gloves. Yes, this type of scene is about connecting with your partner on a whole other level physically, but it’s also about sharing yourself and the love you feel for your beloved as well. From a male perspective use of ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’ are acceptable, but maybe not the best choices for words. Those words tend to indicate a baser physical feeling than the intimacy a writer is trying to portray. Rarely would a female be thinking or saying those words when engaged in such acts, she would be focused on the love flowing between them and the intimacy of the moment. Again this is all dependent on the type of character you are writing about.

Examples:

Female POV:

“As he moved within me I felt the love he had for me flowing out of him into me. It filled me up and sent my body aflame with the intensity of it. Being connected to him body and soul like this was all I ever wanted, all I ever craved. It was beautiful and magnificent and I wanted him like this always.”

Instead of:

“His cock moved in and out of my pussy; filling me up then leaving me empty, just to fill me again. I felt the emotions of our connection with every thrust of his hips. It was too intense and overwhelming. His cock felt so good and I was overcome with the love and desire he had for me.”

Male POV:

“The feel of her around me overwhelmed me and filled me with the love I had for her. I loved being with her this way, everything else faded away except her and I and the feelings we shared. The love we felt moved back and forth between us building and building till I couldn’t hold back anymore and let it overtake me as I poured my love into her.”

Instead of:

“The feeling of my cock moving in and out of her pussy was divine and was only intensified by the love we shared. Being buried in her tightness like this was heaven and only made my love for her grow. We were sharing more than something physical, our souls were connecting and made the pleasure of the friction of our skin sliding against each other that much sweeter.”

Again both work, but in the instead of examples the focus is on physical aspects instead of the emotional ones.

I could offer more scenes and character types but I think you get the point by now. If not then I failed and for that I am sorry. Oh well. But to sum up, sometimes graphic naughty words are needed and add to the scene and sometimes they detract and take away from the writing. It just depends on the characters and type of scene.

Again this is all subjective and depends on the style of writing an author prefers and their level of comfort in using some words. Some authors I know don’t use the graphic words as they are not comfortable using them and that’s fine. There is a way to work around everything if you try hard enough.

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Now let’s discuss…

THE MOST HATED WORDS IN SMUT!!
“CORE, CENTER, MOUND & ORBS.”

Yes, the above words for some reason cause readers to rage and roll their eyes in disgust. I asked a few of my fellow writers why and got a plethora of reasons, but no definitive answer.

Sometimes you feel like a nut...

They’re just not liked. And one phrase that needs an honorable mention on the list is ‘bundle of nerves’ in reference to the clitoris. If you ask 20 smut writers which words or terms they hate you are going to get 20 different words/terms for this most hated list. But over all CORE, CENTER, MOUND and ORBS are the most hated.

Now, I have to admit that I have used each of those terms at one point or another, except orbs. But I was new to the whole writing thing and have since learned my lesson. Though if I’m being entirely honest ‘core’ and ‘bundle of nerves’ don’t bother me that much. I do try to stay away from them as to not incur the wrath of my readers though.

Starfish422 author of ‘Over the Top’ provided me with the most humorous reasons for the hate that I just have to share with you:

There are lots of reasons to hate the use of the word "orbs" for breasts, but for me, the biggest one is jealousy. An orb is a sphere. Talking about your beautifully spherical breasts is just bragging, IMO. If I was to describe mine, after two pregnancies and breastfeeding my youngest till she was two and a half, I'd have to describe them as "a pair of sweat socks with an orange in each". So from the bottom of my foundation undergarments, those orb-possessors can suck my big toe.

Mound - Like, as opposed to Almond Joy? And, generally, one should be aiming for somewhere south of the mound.

Core - Anatomically speaking, I'd say one's core is slightly north of the vajayjay - closer to the sternum? Sexay.

Center - Just stupid. And even worse when spelled Centre.

And honestly, I hate bundle of nerves too. Fortunately, it hasn't come up in my story...

I think these words are hated for the simple fact that they are vague and the anatomical parts they refer to are nothing like those words. And also they tend to be overused for the most part. They are the ‘go to’ words when not wanting to use the graphic words; it’s a cop out almost. But for better or worse they are part of the smut vernacular and we must embrace them for what they are. Nuff' said.

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THE LIST!!

Dun, dun, dun. Below is a list of terms and phrases commonly and not so commonly used in smut writing. This list is nowhere near all inclusive or complete, but its fun and a virtual thesaurus for terms and alternatives. Some are serious, some are graphic and some are down right silly. I need to thank my fellow respected writers and the twitter girls for their input. Couldn’t have done it without them. Again, just to warn, this is very graphic and at sometimes vulgar.

Anatomy:

• Breast:

  boobs, tits, titties, lady pillows, chesticles, breasticles, knockers, rack, hooters, mounds, love pillows, fun bags, peaches & rack.

• Nipple/Areola:

  peaks, pebbled flesh, nubs, titty, nips & high beams.

• Vagina:

  pussy, cunt, core, walls, warmth, womanhood, love canal, pink buffet, pink tunnel, heat, wetness, nether lips, hole, cum dumpster, mound, fiery furnace, her heat, lily, most secret place, tight/tightness, depths, womanhood & lady/girly bits.

• Labia:

  lower lips, seam, folds, slit, nether lips, apex of her legs & cleft.

• Clitoris:

  nub, bundles of nerves, clit, love button, flower bud, rubbing the bean, erect nub & pleasure pearl.

• Gräfenberg Spot:

  G-spot, special spot, sponguey area & ridged.

• Anus:

  lower hole, puckered ring, asshole, back door, pie hole & brown eye (eww).

• Buttocks:

  ass, bottom, cheeks & ass cheeks.

• Penis:

  cock, dick, member, myself, himself, peen, shaft, rod, schlong, prick, spear, length, hardness, aching bulge, engorged flesh, his need, loins, staff, shaft & manhood.

• Erect Penis:

  hard-on engorged, swollen member, erection, hard-on, wood, stiffy, engorged flesh, loins & straining sex.

• Glans:

  head & tip.

• Urethral Opening:

  slit & slash.

• Prostate:

  male g-spot, gland & special spot.

• Scrotum:

  balls, nuts, sack, sac & testicles.

• Perineum:

  hidden inch, special spot & taint.

• Vaginal Fluid:

  essence, juices, wetness, warmth, heat, arousal, honey, fluid(s) & slickness.

• Semen:

  cum, essence, manhood, jizz, spunk, seed & spooge.

• Pre-Ejaculate Fluid:

  pre-cum, pre-juice & pre-love.

Physical acts:

• Orgasm/Male Ejaculation:

  release/releasing, cum/cumming, shoot/shooting, come/coming, climax/climaxing, peak, poured into, hot seed, spilled into, spewing forth a fountain & blow wad. Also any of the semen words would work here.

• Female Ejaculation:

  squirt/squirting, cream & goo.

• Muscular responses from Orgasm:

  quivering inner muscles/walls, milking my cock, tightening in my balls, spasm, riding the wave, pushed into, broke the barrier (for virgins), shuddered in completion, spasms of pleasure, convulsed around him, clench deep inside her, shudder/shuddering, clench/clenching & spasm(s).

• Oral Sex preformed on a Female:

  going down, eating out, tasting her, lick/licking, feast/feasting, licking pussy, licking the slit, playing the pink & drink her juices.

• Oral Sex preformed on a Male:

  blowjob, head, giving head, deep throat, fellatio, suck/sucking off, suck/sucking dick, blow/blowing & going down.

• Vaginal penetration/stimulation by fingers:

  prep/prepping, ready/readying, finger/fingering, finger fuck/fucking, probe/probing & readying her for me.

• Vaginal penetration/intercourse by Penis:

  fuck/fucking, sex, joining, becoming one, screwing, bang/banging, making love, took her, buried himself, came together, claimed her, taking him in, do/doing, screw/screwing, hump/humping, pork/porking & coitus.

• Physical motion of Vaginal intercourse:

  thrust/thrusting, rock/rocking, riding the baloney pony, taking the long boat to tuna town, laying pipe, fuck/fucking, ride/riding, pump/pumping, pound/pounding, plunging strokes, slam(med), probe(d), spear(ed), impale(d), enter(ed) & drove/driving.

• Initial Vaginal penetration by Penis:

  enter(ed), slipped in, thrust, pushed into, broke the barrier (for virgins), penetrate(d)/penetration, drove into, impale(d), claimed her, accepted him, filled her & imbedded himself.

• Stimulation of the Penis by hand:

  hand job, stroke/stroking, pump/pumping & work/working.

• Anal Intercourse:

  anal sex, pegging, anal penetration & ass fucking.

• Stimulation of the Nipples:

  lick/licking, bite/biting, suck/sucking, tease/teasing, flick/flicking, tweak/tweaking, nibble, lave, suckle, pull/pulling, pinch/pinching, knead/kneading, twist/twisting, rub & caress.

• Stimulation of the Clitoris:

  tweak/tweaking, pinch/pinching, rub/rubbing, nibble, lave, suck(ed), suckle, lick/licking & take between lips.

• Masturbation:

  jackin' the beanstalk', yanking the crank, taking rosy palm for a date, jacking off, jerking off, wanking, stroking self, masturbating, self –love, handling oneself, beating off & stroking.

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And now for an extra added bonus a few words of wisdom, advice and thoughts from smut writers on writing smut and using terms and phrases:

cdunbar author of ‘Resident Geek’:

“I hate a lot of the words associated with a penis -- shaft, rod, swollen member (ew). I NEVER use those.”

rosette-cullen author of ‘Labour of Devotion’:

“I think any of these words are fine used in the right context, but it definitely depends on the author.

If an author is new and jumps right into it, then I think it just comes out vulgar and wrong, whereas if you work your way up, and know where it's alright to place certain phrases, it can make a story all the more real.”

Angstgodess003 author of ‘Wide Awake’:

As a caveat, I enjoy using descriptive phrases as opposed to dangerous buzzwords that will get me flamed faster then gasoline soaked dishrags. I.E. "I stroked my finger down his hard cock, starting at his tip and dragging my nail to his scrotum." = "My finger stroked his stiffened softness, trailing down it's satiny length, leading to the tightened bulges at the base."

There are some things you just can't replace. "Thrust" is a force of nature. And yes, I'm one of those tards who has actually used "Thrusted," and ignored my squiggly red spell-check because I was convinced it was a word. You fic, you learn.

Also, who do I have to fellate to have the variations of "Cumming" and "Coming" explored? This drives me crazy. He's not COMING over. He's CUMMING over.... your hand as it milks him.

And why is there ALWAYS enough pre-cum to use for lubrication while giving a hand-job? I mean... that's a shit load of pre-cum to cover his entire penis, AND last a whole hand-job without drying up, getting flaky and gross, and killing the mood. Methinks this is NOT pre-cum you speak of. This is cum-cum, and your job is done, darlin'. Go have yourself a cigarette, relax in a nice hot bath, and try to forget that the author has just written your sweetie as a premature-ejaculator.

Gustariana author of ‘Consecuencias’:

Here are my unwritten rules for my smut, mind you this applies to only what I write.. what I read... whole different ball game! hehe

- To Cum or not to Cum: I don't use the word cum. It makes me feel pornish for some reason, I opt for Come. I also try to use other ways to describe the ecstasy of the Big O.

- To feel or to "feel": Whenever possible I try to describe emotions instead of the physical aspect of sex. It doesn't always work with the story, sometime it is important for a character to enjoy the sensations etc. But if I can, I will make it an experience of the senses.

- In real life, and in fanfic life, people in love also fuck (not only sweet love making shitz). Pretty self explanatory.

I guess in general I've tried to write smut that tends to be on the softer side. It is more laden with emotions than with many descriptions of activities. I am not sure if I am explaining it right but I think my smut really is a way to show how these characters respond or are changed by sex. Edward feels what it is to have sex with someone that touches his soul, Bella feels what it is to have a real lover.

I normally don't use some of the more graphic terms. It is just a preference, but mostly because its the way I wrote the characters. Edward did say pussy one time and it was needed, it fit his character.

Okay and the last little bit from me before I bid you adieu. I am not a fan of using technical terms in smut i.e. penis, semen, glans, vagina, etc... It takes me out of the moment and it seems too clinical and void of emotion. The only time that this hasn’t been the case is when a repressed, nervous, virgin Edward used the terms ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’. It fit his character perfectly and if he had used ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’ it would have rang false. And the Edward I am referring to is Teddyward from ‘The Mirrors’ by adorablecullens.

So that’s it for this time. I hope you all enjoyed, I know I had a hoot compiling the list.

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manyafandom is the author who makes multiples romantic, slash delicious and brings the deviant goodness to the shack. She hopes to in the future to write an IC/Canon Pairing/Vamp story with No Smut to prove she really isn't as big of a perv/deviant as people think she is. She enjoys almost all kinds of twific as long as it's well written and has a good story.

Smut 101: Emotions Instead of Physicalities, Less is Always More

Making IT Essential

Yeah, I’m back for yet another installment of this journey into all things smutty and schmexy. Before I get down to the nitty gritty of this installment, I was remiss in the last installment and didn’t define what exactly smut is, so here it is. Mind you, this in not an absolute definition, just my interpretation of what “smut” is in fanfiction.

According to Merriam-Webster (yeah, I pulled out the dictionary again):

Smut: 1: matter that soils or blackens ; specifically : a particle of soot

2: any of various destructive diseases especially of cereal grasses caused by parasitic basidiomycetous fungi (order Ustilaginales) and marked by transformation of plant parts into dark masses of spores ; also : a fungus causing a smut

So, I don’t think that those definitions apply to what I am talking about, do you? No, I didn’t think so. Though I am sure there are those that think that smut is a destructive disease on fanficdom. And to some extent they may be correct. There has been a wave of deviance throughout the fanficdom that we have yet to see the long term affect of.

Now, let’s see if we can find a real definition of what smut is. According to fanhistoy.com/wiki, it’s this:

Smut: Smut is fanfic that basically has no plot or purpose, other than sex for the characters. There's usually no storyline, other than whatever is necessary to get the characters into bed, and smut is almost always rated NC17. (the good ones anyways ) Smut is not a derogatory term in the fanfic world (at least not for most people).

Now, I have to disagree with some of the points in this definition. Not all “Smut” fanfiction has no storyline, plot or purpose. The best smut scenes are from stories that are plot heavy and the smut serves a purpose in furthering the story. In other words, the smut is essential to the story and characters, as was talked about in the last installment of this column.

Now here is my definition of smut: acts or activities of a sexual or explicit nature described or included into writing to entice and excite the reader and to express or convey connections and emotions between all parties involved. This can be sex, oral sex, and heavy petting etc… When I see the term ‘Smut’ I think of ‘Erotica’, smut is just more fun to say.

Kissing or “making out” would not be considered smut, unless hands or mouths touched private bits. There is nothing explicit about kissing, it just makes us all gooey inside when written well.

There are a few other terms batted about in fanficdom: lemon and lime. These two terms for the most part are used in anime fandoms, but they apply to us here in the TwiFicdom as well.

Again according to fanhistory.com/wiki, here are those definitions.

Lemon: A lemon is a story/ part of a story that contains illicit or detailed sexual acts. The authors usually describe the act quite accurately and anatomically correct. Lemons are usually rated R(A) or for adults only.... or according to the fic author's age....NC-17, 16 15...and so on.

Lime: A lime is a story/ part of a story that contains implied sexual acts. A lime is not detailed as a lemon is. A lime usually ends with deep kissing, necking, petting or undressing.

These are very good definitions of those two terms; at least I think so. I am a big fan of Twitter, and when online I have my “twhirl” app up, reading and participating in the chatter of fellow TwiFic readers and writers. We had a debate on what exactly a “lemon” entailed -- what made a “lemon,” a lemon, and it was generally agreed upon that any description of sexual acts that ends with an orgasm was considered a lemon. Anything that doesn’t end in orgasm or is a “Fade to Black” (damn you Stephanie Meyer) would be considered a “lime”.

Now that we are all on the same page, let’s get down to business. As a little review, in the last installment, Guideline #1: “Make Sure it’s Essential” was covered. To sum up: smut or sex in fanfic should serve a greater purpose than getting us all hot and bothered. It should further the story, plot or character growth. Okay, that’s done, now onto guideline #2.

!!Warning: Thar’ be Graphic Material/Content ahead!!

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Guideline #2: " Emotions Instead of Physicalities, Less is Always More "

Not all smut has to be graphic. If done right and well, very little of the physical needs to be described. Let’s face it, smut isn’t about the sex. Wait, what? Yeah, you read that right. Smut isn’t about the sex; it’s about the emotions, feelings, connection and intimacy during the act between the participants.

Please no ‘Tab A’ into ‘Slot B’ sex. Most of us have had sex. We know what physically goes on. Yes, there are a million different ways to have sex, but the general concept is always the same. What I am referring to is only describing the physical actions of the sex, and not what is going on in the mind of the participants. It’s the extreme at one end of the smut spectrum. It’s easy to tell who, how and what, but to add in the why is the hard part. Here is an example written by moi for the purposes of this column:

His fingers pumped in and out of my pussy, readying me for his cock as his mouth sucked on my taut nipples. When I was ready for him, he guided his cock to my entrance. Plunging into me with one hard thrust he filled me completely, stretching me to fit his massive form.

As he started to move in and out of me creating a delicious friction we both craved, my hand found purchase on his back, feeling his muscles flex under my fingertips. His face was in the crook of my neck, hot breath making my skin moist as he panted out in exertion. My skin was slick with sweat as my hips lifted to meet his hard, rapid thrusts. My peak was fast approaching causing me to claw at his back and whimper out his name, urging him on.

In the above example, not a thing was said about the emotions she was feeling. Sure, we read what she was physically feeling, but not what was going through her head or what the physical action were making her feel. It’s more important to convey or tell what is going on internally, in the mind than what is going on externally, with the body. Because, no matter how rockin’ the sex is, it means nothing without the emotional side of it.

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Emotions, Emotions, Emotions and Intimacy. That is what’s important for good smut. The readers want to know what is going on in the person's head as well as how the sex is setting their body aflame with lust and desire. How the sex is bringing about new or intense feelings and emotions in the character. How the intimacy of the characters' actions lead to intimacy and a connection of their souls.

But how do you so this? Well, that is the big problem. As a writer, you want to show the actions, and that is important, but you also want to tell the emotions, pleasure, connection and intimacy of the moment. It’s a delicate balance of the two that needs to be woven together almost seamlessly, and that is a hard thing to do while still making it hot and steamy.

Going to the opposite end of the spectrum, conveying only emotions and no description of the physical act is not a good thing either. It would make no sense to the reader to have all emotions and no actions; they would be lost in the narrative wondering exactly what is going on to make the characters feel these things, hence the balance that has be made. Abandoning one extreme for the other doesn’t solve the problem at all or make it any better. Describing the emotions and feelings while periodically checking in on the physical actions is a great and affective way of balancing the two.

A perfect example of how to weave these two aspects together is from isabel0329’s Campus Liasions . Isabel0329 is a master at mixing the physical with the emotional, while still leaving us panting and spent at the end.

In the following passage, Edward and Bella are about to have sex/make love for the first time after an incredible build up of tension for weeks between the two of them. Their bodies are both alight and alive with the chemistry between them and it almost sizzles in the air. But as illustrated, it’s not just about the mutual release, it’s truly a melding of their souls.

“Edward’s lips captured mine one last time as he entered me. They molded to mine has as my body molded to his.

He started slowly, testing me. But soon, he began to pick up his pace. Like he was tired of the waiting too. Everything that had happened between us had led to this point. From the first time I had met him, we had been moving toward this moment.

It was a force that couldn’t be stopped.

When planets shift, there is nothing you can do but relent. You are powerless to resist the call of something stronger, more powerful.

In that moment, with our bodies writhing against each other and the air around us quickly becoming musky with our sweat, I felt it.

It was staggering.

Mind-blowing.

And terrifyingly scary at the same time.

God, I was petrified. He wasn’t the only one baring their soul in this union.

So was I.

It wasn’t that I was scared to be with him. No, it was quite the opposite actually.

It was that I wanted to be with him more than I probably should. More than was healthy. More than was sane.

Rules be damned.

“God, Bella,” Edward groaned and with one last thrust, threw his head back.

His pale neck tensed and the chords and muscles stretched. With closed eyes and the same mouth open agape, he was more beautiful than I had ever seen.

So much beauty contained in one person. How was that possible?

It was that thought that sent me over with him, plunging over the precipice into the murky depths below. My body tensed and clenched, every nerve cell firing at once. My own mouth was open in a wall-shaking scream, followed by his name rolling of my lips.

I clutched him to me, wishing with everything in me that we could be locked in this moment for all of time. Never go back to the world where there would be repercussions.

Just him and me. Forever locked in this bliss.”

In that passage, we have a clear idea of the action taking place, as well as the profound affect the sex/making love is having on Bella. This is a life-altering experience for her, and for him. While progressing the physical action we also see how it is emotionally affecting the character.

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Focus on the action, without being overly graphic. Sometimes it’s not making love, sometimes it’s downright animalistic fucking. That’s not a bad thing, at all. So maybe there aren’t any tender and sweet emotions going on, maybe it’s all primal and about the release, need, lust, want and desire. About how overcome the characters are with those feelings to take it slow and gentle. What then? Well…we all love that, or at least I do. When it’s raw and frenzied and powerful and the characters are so lost in what their bodies are feeling to really even focus on what emotions the sex may be bringing about.

But there still needs to be the balance. This isn’t a porno movie, this is fanfiction. Even if it’s extreme and base and primal, emotions are in play. Even if it’s not those things, it doesn’t have to be overly graphic. Focusing the reader’s attention on other things or aspects, while still conveying the frenzied activities and emotions is a perfect way to tell this kind of smut. Divert the reader’s attention away from certain physical aspects onto other less graphic actions, aspects, or internal observations. The “hey look over here” approach to smut.

Instead of what the hips and private bits are doing, describe what hands or mouths are doing, what eyes are seeing, what the skin is feeling, what the characters are smelling or tasting even. Is there a table or wall that a character is being pressed against? Then tell us how it feels to the character, the tactile nature of the physical location. There’s no need to go into great detail, but the little details of how the wall was cool against a characters back in opposition to the heat of their skin is a good way to set the scene and show the intensity of the experience. Another way to focus on the action without being too graphic is through observations of one character by another. What the other character's facial expression is, what they might be saying, how they’re breathing and so on. It’s a clever way of showing what the other person might be feeling of experiencing without going into all the gory details.

A good example of this concept can be found in Mr. Horrible by algonquinrt . In the below passage, Rich Kid or Edward is so turned on by Baby Swan or Bella in his t-shirt that he goes all caveman on her. Bella has never experienced anything like this before. She is surprised at first and then excited that someone wants her in that way.

My hands are wrapped in his hair, trying to pull his mouth back up to mine, scared by the intensity of what I'm feeling. I'm trying to concentrate on the pleasure, but all I can think is that he wants me. He wants me. Like this. He wants me so much he wants to fuck me on my kitchen table. He wants me so much he doesn't care that he just slammed my head into the wall.

It's not going to take long, and I can tell he's getting close; he's moaning and keening my name and I can't do anything but pay attention to him: to the fine sheen of sweat I feel on his back, to the wrinkled intensity of his forehead, to the pressure of his fingers digging into my shoulders as he pulls me against him harder and faster. He is lost in this, and I'm so focused on watching him and experiencing him that I don't notice when he lets go of me with one hand and moves it between us.

The second he touches me, I forget what I was paying attention to. Forget my own damn name. His fingers play me as he grates out his plea, “Please, Bella... Please come for me... Please come with me.”

Fucking finally, he brings his mouth back to mine, groaning into my mouth as I'm screaming his name. Three more thrusts and he comes not with a shout, but a whisper, and I feel the tears streaming down my face.

The passage is graphic, but Bella focuses on Edward and the new experience instead of the actual sex. She focuses on the minute details, such as his forehead and that he wants her that way, diverting our attention away from the sex act itself and onto her observations of him and what he is making her feel. This passage is still hot, while conveying her utter wonder and amazement of the situation.

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Glossing over is sometimes just what the Doctor ordered. I’m not talking about the dreaded fade to blacks here, but not every thrust or kiss or pant needs to be described. Just as not every emotion or feeling needs to be told. Sometimes simple and vague is better than verbose flowy sentences, metaphors and euphemisms. Simple and plain can be even more profound and intense then all the poetry and prose a writer can come up with. It gets the meaning across in a direct manner that leaves no room for interpretation or the opposite, leaving everything open to interpretation. It all depends on the circumstances surrounding the event.

Sometimes this can backfire on a writer, though. To have a detailed build up of kissing and petting and then skimming over the actual act may upset readers. Glossing over has to be consistent from beginning to end. Some may say that this is taking the easy or lazy way out.

Well, I say that not everyone is comfortable writing sex and the actions surrounding it, but sometimes the story calls for it. As a writer, it is important to write what you are comfortable with. Trying to write something, especially smut that you may not be familiar or comfortable writing, will affect the story and usually negatively. So glossing over, going simple or vague might be the perfect thing for you.

Even if you are comfortable writing the down and dirty smut, vague may still be the way to go. Think about your characters and the conditions and circumstances of the smut before writing a word. You may find that going this route will have a more profound effect on the story and the characters in it.

Below is an example where the vague and simple worked in favor of the story instead of against it. In String Theory by dooley; Bella, Edward and the rest are in an alternate or parallel universe of sorts, a universe were everything is wrong and they can feel it. In their current circumstances, they are not together and don’t even like each other, but are drawn to each other inexplicably. There are no emotions between them, just the feeling of rightness. They let that feeling of rightness overtake them and this is what transpires.

Edward pulled away from her and stared her in the eye. His hands tight on the nape of her neck, he twisted her around and pushed her back onto the bed. There was nothing said or thought as he kissed her again, huffing through his nose. Bella stretched beneath him, hands sliding further up his shirt. After another moment of his tongue in her mouth, she yanked the shirt over his head.

There was a slight hesitation as Edward’s hand moved from her hair to the hem of her shirt. His was already across the room but it took the arch of her back to allow him to slide his hands under her shirt.

“Edward,” she panted against the skin of his neck. There was a noise rumbling in the back of his throat as he kissed her again. Something was deep within him like a cat’s purr.

No responsibility was ever to be taken there on Bella’s bed. Neither of them could ever describe what it was like, how good it felt, when Edward pushed into her for the first time, his jeans still around his hips. There wasn’t anyone to explain the long scratches down his back or the bruises on her collarbones to.

When Edward came, he strived for control, and bit down on Bella’s shoulder. Her moan was as long as his choking breath. Her pelvis hovered over her disheveled comforter, pulsing around him.

The author gives enough details to follow the narrative, but there is a detachment from the events that both the characters and the reader feel. The lack of emotions and the references to physical marks left behind give the reader an idea of what the sex was like and how it went without the author giving a blow by blow commentary. The affect is profound and the reader is left with feelings of wrongness and emptiness. This would not have been possible if a detailed account of the events with the emotions and feelings included was given.

Well, that’s it for this installment. I hope you enjoyed. See ya next time.

I was going to go into wording, verbiage and euphemisms good and bad this installment, but I received so much feedback and input while doing research on that topic that it deserves and requires its own installment. So next time we talk words, phrasing, euphemisms and smut clichés. Good times indeed.

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manyafandom(link: http://www.fanfiction.net/~manyafandom)is the author who makes multiples romantic, slash delicious and brings the deviant goodness to the shack. She hopes to in the future to write an IC/Canon Pairing/Vamp story with No Smut to prove she really isn't as big of a perv/deviant as people think she is. She enjoys almost all kinds of twific as long as it's well written and has a good story. She is also the biggest geek ever and has Star Wars tattoo to prove it.

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GuestEssay: Making IT Essential by manyafandom

Making IT Essential

So let me start out by saying I am a huge fan of the Ficster. I think they do a phenomenal job. All the posts, articles and columns are entertaining and informative. I giggle, laugh, smile and smirk as well as learn something new with each and every post.

The ficters themselves have a knack for finding the great new and unknown story. I don’t know how they do that, is it a skill that can be taught? If so, sign me up for the next class. They bring us the stories that go onto be huge in the fandom because they are so well written. The stories that seem to pull us in and tug at our heartstrings. I can’t even begin tell you how many good stories I have found thanks to the blog. If you don’t believe me, scroll back through the posts and look at all the awesome they have brought to the masses. Or, how often I learn something new or am presented with an idea or concept that I never would have thought about before.

They run the gamut on all things fanfiction and fiction related, as well have some killer tunes to boot. The Lazy Yet Discerning Fiscter is an example of all that is good within in the fandom.

But I have a problem with the blog, shocking I know. Just one little entsy, teensy problem … there’s no smut. No smut to be found anywhere. Sure, some of the stories they recommend have smut in them. But besides an editorial by Angel, there has not been a peep about smut and its place in the fandom in general.

Well, I intend to rectify that very small missing piece with this series. You might be asking yourself; “How are you qualified to do this?” For starters I’ve read a ton, and I mean a ton of smut. I’ve read the good, the bad, the ugly, the shudder worthy (and not in a good way) and the truly outstanding that makes me very envious of fictional characters. It’s what first drew me into the fandom, looking for the missing scenes and scenarios from the books. From there my interests diversified, but I still enjoy a steamy well written smut scene. Also, as I a writer I’ve written smut, in some form or another in all of my fic writing. And finally I’m a contributor on the “Perv Pack’s Smut Shack” blog, which if you couldn’t tell by the name is all about the smut. So yeah, I would say that I’m a smutaholic and have a lot of experience reading, writing and critiquing the smut.

Smut or sex is a major part of the Twilight fanficdom whether you enjoy it or not. Mostly, I think because of the lack of it in the books. Stupid fade to blacks, le sigh. Don’t get me wrong, the bits and pieces of the intimacy and closeness we get between Edward and Bella in the books are outstanding, but they leave many of us wanting more. I would be hard pressed to find anything as sexy, meaningful and intimate as the leg hitch and the subsequent scene in chapter 8 of Eclipse in any fanfiction. But like I mentioned above, it left me wanting more. I want the next part, the part we never got to see. What happens after they kiss? That is where fanfic comes in.

For better or worse smut is a part of the fandom, an integral part some would say. And it’s hard (no pun intended) to write, some say the hardest thing to write. Or write well. We all read it, or have read it. Be it openly and proud or hoping that our husbands, family or coworkers don’t see what is up on the computer screen or hiding under the covers with the laptop in the dead of night so no one can see us. There is some debate about the popularity of a story in relation to the smut content. To some extent that maybe true, but that is not what this column is about.

This column is about how to write smut, good smut or how to find the good smut when reading. Yeah, yeah I know that the term “good” is subjective, but this column is about the basic universal rules to smut. Well… more "guidelines" then actual rules (yes, I just quoted POTC. I’m lame like that). Each installment I will talk about a different guideline and offer up some examples for your reading pleasure.

So, let’s get down the purpose of all these ramblings.

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Rule…err…Guideline #1: “Make Sure it’s Essential”

Wait, what? Essential? You’re not gonna offer up alternatives for penis, vagina, orgasm and semen? What about positions and technique? What about cores and centers? What about fucking versus making love? To oral or not to oral? I thought this was about writing smut?

Well, it is about writing smut and I will talk about all of those things…eventually. But before we get into content, style and wording we need to talk about purpose and intent. We have to start at the beginning, before a word is written.

But first let’s look up the definition of “Essential” shall we. According to Merriam-Webster it’s this. Essential: something necessary, indispensable, or unavoidable.

Hmm … I think that definition is pretty clear. But just in case it wasn’t, here:

For the love of all that is Fucking Holy and RPattz please make sure that the smut/sex in the story is essential to the plot and the development of the characters.

This, I think is the golden rule or guideline for smut writing and the one that is broken the most. I admit to being guilty of this. What? Nobody’s perfect. What I mean by this, is please don’t make the smut gratuitous. There should be a story behind or purpose for the smut. Ya know, besides reading about our favorite characters having sex.

There are two categories for fics with smut included: Story with a side of Smut and Smut with a side of Story. One is good, the other is not. Guess which is which?

‘Smut with a side of Story’ or smut for the sake of smut is not a good thing, even though it sounds like a win/win situation. It cheapens and degrades the characters that we hold so dear. We lose the essence of the characters and what we love about them when we read about them having random sex without any meaning or purpose behind it. And frankly I don’t find that an enjoyable read. Do you? A weak or thin story sprinkled amongst random sexual encounters does not a good story make. Sure it might get us off or all hot and bothered, but is that really the purpose of fanfiction? Plain and simple…no.

Now smut can be a powerful storytelling tool, when used properly. This is where ‘Story with a side of Smut’ comes in. Emotions and feelings are heightened and more intense during physical sex acts. This offers the writer a chance to make the characters true feelings known in a forceful or powerful way. During sex the barriers and walls that characters may have in place often crumble or fall down. As well as the lies they tell themselves or any denial they might be in. Offering us the reader, a peek into what the character is actually thinking and feeling. And if done properly the intensity and depth of those feelings will be felt and shown. And hopefully evoke feelings within the reader.

Now I know that Sex is an integral part of any loving relationship, this is a fact. I do not dispute this. But in fanfiction or any fiction when reading or writing about said acts, the purpose and intent should take precedence over all else. How can you tell the difference between random sex for the sake of sex and storytelling through sex? That is a tough question, sometimes it glaringly obvious and sometimes it’s so subtle that it can be easily missed. It’s all in the writing and how the writer intermixes the physical actions, thoughts and emotions. Here is an easy way to tell.

When thinking about adding smut or sex to a story you should ask yourself these five questions before you do so:

1. Does the smut/sex act further the storyline in some way?
2. Does the smut/sex convey the emotions of the participants in a way that wouldn’t be available any other way than through intimate sex acts?
3. Does the smut/sex cause the characters to have realizations/epiphanies/moments of clarity in direct relationship to the emotions felt during the sex acts or actions of the sex itself?
4. Does the smut/sex have some sort of repercussions for the characters after the sex act is over?
5. Would it be impossible for the storyline progress without the details of the sex act?

If the answer to any of these is NO, stop and think about it some more before adding smut to the story. If the answer is YES, than go for it. See, easy.

But manyafandom, what about the ever popular one-shot? Surely those don’t need an actual story do they? Well, for one don’t call me Surely (sorry, bad old movie ref. If you don’t get it, ask a friend) and two even a one-shot, regardless if there is smut in it or not should have a story to justify the actions of the characters, again not just to read about them having sex. Just because it’s short, sweet and to the point doesn’t mean you can skip out on having an actual story. So no PWP or ‘Porn Without Plot’. That is bad, very bad. And by the way, premise does not a plot make; more is needed than just an idea.

Okay hopefully I haven’t lost you all yet and you are not bored out of your minds. You may think this is boring or stupid and that I should just get to the good stuff already. Trust me; this is the basic building blocks for the good stuff. And something I have learned myself through trial and error.

I can talk about this concept until I’m blue in the face, but really I don’t like looking like a smurf. So instead, I’m going to offer up some examples the perfectly illustrated the concept or point I am trying to get across. Just to warn I am going to be quoting some pretty graphic stuff here. I mean we are talking about smut/sex what did you expect? But you have been warned, graphic words and content ahead.

When thinking about writing this column and outlining this particular post I went through a list of all the good smut that I have read (and it’s a very long list). One story in particular jumped out as the perfect example for the “Make it Essential” guideline.

And that story is The Office by tby789 and kyla713. These two are masters of the “Making it Essential” guideline. At first glance you might dismiss this as ‘smut with a side of story’ but you would be wrong. Yes, there is a LOT of smut/sex in this story. But each and every sexual encounter between the two main characters adds to the story, progresses the plot and character development as well at the development of the relationship between the two main characters in a way that would not be possible without it.

The story here is very subtle at first. Edward is the Beautiful Bastard and Bella’s boss. They do not get along, but there is really no apparent reason at first, except they simply rub each other the wrong way. Then one night working late…yeah, you get the idea. But as the Edward and Bella get deeper and deeper into the situation they’re in the story pulls us in and leaves you on the edge of your seat wondering if they will ever just simply fall off the edge into love, or at least admit it. Below is a passage that illustrates the ‘Make It Essential’ concept.

“Fuck,” he murmured as he turned his head slightly; his open mouth leaving wet kisses up and down my leg. By now our bodies were glistening with sweat, the windows were completely fogged up and our groans filled the silent space of the car. The dim glow from the garage lights emphasized every carved indentation and muscle of the masterpiece above me. I watched him in awe; his body was straining with the effort, his hair mussed and sticking to his damp forehead, the tendons in his neck pulled tight, and he was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

Ducking his head between his outstretched arms, he met my eyes for a brief moment. Our gazes locked and our breaths were coming out in gasps; we were both close. Closing his eyes tightly he shook his head. “Oh God,” he panted. “Fuck… I can’t stop.”

“Me either,” I gasped, mirroring his look of desperation. Lifting my head up off the seat, I placed a hand on each side of his face and pulled his lips to mine in a searing kiss. Every nerve in my body was begging for release and each rough plunge of his rigid cock inside me pushed me closer to the edge. For one brief moment I allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to have his body whenever I wanted, having him in my bed fucking me with wild abandon. The thought alone was enough to send an explosion ricocheting through me and I gripped his hair tightly.

It is the first time that either character admits to being in too deep, to not being able to control themselves around the other, to not being able to stop. Without them being physically intimate that moment would not have happened or carried the same meaning that is does. It’s not just the words said that convey this but also the actions, Edward kissing Bella’s leg and the thoughts, Bella imagining a ‘what if’.

Now I have another story that is a good example of the ‘Make it Essential’ concept and there is not any actual real smut yet. And by real smut, I mean penetration. Surrogate Love by shwriteme, this is her first fanfic, but she is known throughout the fandom for her beta/editing skills. In this story Bella is a sex therapist and sexual surrogate with her own issues about relationships. Edward is a shy, quiet scientist that has performance issues; the poor guy hasn’t gotten off for over ten years. His family forces him to go to therapy with Bella for help with his ‘problem’.

This story is not about Bella helping Edward get off; it’s about helping him to be a functioning adult in society and Bella overcoming her past experiences. Let’s see what happens during a phone call between the two.

"Here I cum," she gasped out, her voice pure sex. I pictured her beautiful face, scrunched up in concentration as she came. My hand moved faster, pumping in a frantic rhythm, the cream making slurping noises, just like her juices had just a moment ago. And the sounds and images took me over the edge along with her.

Heat spread through my groin, and outward to my limbs, making my toes curl with the power of my climax. It was long and intense and unlike anything I'd felt before. The dim memories of orgasms in my early teens didn't come close to this. I grabbed a towel and mopped myself up as I panted into the phone, trying to calm my breathing so that I could speak. "Wow," was about all I could manage. "Amazing." And it was. It was the most intense feeling I'd ever had. Pure bliss.

And she was panting just as hard. The idea that I'd had some part in Bella's orgasm squeezed my heart. Her words from earlier actually rang true for me now. Whatever happened in my past, I wasn't a disappointment to her. An intense surge of pride rushed through me.

Okay, I must admit that I love a self pleasing Edward, I just do. Anyways back to the topic at hand (snicker). This scene is essential to the story and characters because Edward is experiencing something for the first time without all the negative emotional feelings that are usually associated with it. This is a huge big step for him. Bella helped him by guiding him and offering…inspiration. The shared sexual experience bonds the two together and deepens the infatuation they are feeling for each other. Without the physical act, this would not have happened.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this, the first installment. In the next installment we will talk about the concept of Less is always more. Emotions instead of physicalities.

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Manyafandom is the author who makes multiples romantic, slash delicious and brings the deviant goodness to the shack. She hopes to in the future to write an IC/Canon Pairing/Vamp story with No Smut to prove she really isn't as big of a perv/deviant as people think she is. She enjoys almost all kinds of twific as long as it's well written and has a good story. She is also the biggest geek ever and has Star Wars tattoo to prove it.

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