Thursday, June 11, 2009

Smut 101: Choose Your Words Carefully.

Choose Your Words Carefully.


Back again! This time we get a little bit more technical, a little bit less conceptual. Well…kinda, but first a quick review of previous guidelines.
  • Guideline #1: Make It Essential, or please to be making the smut/sex have a purpose to the story and the characters, not just because its schmexy and you can.
  • Guideline #2: Emotions Instead of Physicalities, Less is Always More. Or we don’t need to know how balls deep your character is inside the other, allude or focus on the feelings not the physical.

Okay, now that that’s over with down

Orbs could be the most overlooked phenomenon ever, providing glimpses on the 11th universe impaling our own, according to the m-theory of quantum physics. Or they could be little windows to the Middle Kingdom, the home of the Faery. Or they could be the souls of the dead. Or they could be tiny short-lived portals. Or they could be dust.
to serious business, but first…

Danger! Will Robinson Danger! Graphic and Explicit Content Below!!
(and I really, really mean it this time. no lie.)


In this installment we’re going to talk about words or about choosing your words carefully. I know you’re thinking WTF? is she going to come at us if we say the wrong thing? No, that’s not the type of choosing your words carefully I’m talking about. I’m talking about how the use of certain words set the tone for the scene, i.e. making love, fucking, wild monkey sex, etc.... How using certain words in the “heat of the moment” can ruin the mood quicker than Charlie coming home from work or Alice interrupting at a crucial moment like she always seems to do. How a character and their personality factor into which words they would say or think. Also we are going to talk about the most dreaded words in smut: Core, Center, Mound and Orbs. I’m also going to give you an informative and fun list of terms or euphemisms. So let’s get right to it shall we.

Guideline #3:

Choose Your Words Carefully, they set the tone of the scene and define your characters. Now this is a basic rule/guideline that applies to all forms of writing as well I think. Make sure the verbs or nouns used fit the character saying or thinking them and the type of scene you are trying to convey.

Simple really … yeah not so much. It’s easy to use ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’ when writing sex/smut as it gets the point across and they are in your face words. But given the type of characters you’re writing they may not fit with the scene or the characters. Below are a few character types and corresponding possible scenes that will discuss specific word choices. Oh and all the examples are written by me, so they suck. I’m going to stick to use of ‘cock’, ‘dick’, ‘pussy’ and ‘cunt’ for these examples as they are the most commonly used graphic words.

Character and Scene/Setting Types:

The Virgins and the “First Time”:
   Given the source material (The Twilight Saga) for the fanfiction that most of us are writing or reading we deal with a lot of virgins or virginal,

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innocent characters. Most virgins, even the horny 17-year-old ones of the male variety would probably not use ‘cock’, ‘pussy’, or ‘fuck’ when having their first sexual experience. The nervousness and excitement of the experience would counteract all the dirty words they would be thinking, if they were thinking them in the first place. The characters are about to take a big step and that experience should be treated respectfully. Of course this is all dependent on the type of story you’re telling, sometimes the first time is not about reverence or respect. When writing a “First Time” scene you have to take into account the behavior of the characters up to that point. A Bella that blushes at the mere thought of Edward kissing her would not bust out with a ‘cock’ in the middle of her first time, she would probably use ‘hardness’, ‘length’ or ‘penis’ when referring too, well Edward’s penis.

Example:

Female POV:
“He moved to lie between my thighs as I shivered not from the cold but at the thought of what was about to happen. His hardness nestled at my entrance as I braced myself for the pain that I knew was coming.”

Instead of:
“He pushed my thighs further apart as his cock slipped into my pussy as I waited with anticipation for his dick to enter me fully.”

Male POV:
“I fit my body between her thighs as the excitement of what was about to happen flowed through me. I felt myself at her entrance and fought back the overwhelming urge to thrust. I needed to go slow, to lessen the inevitable pain I knew I was going to cause.”

Instead of:
“My cock was right at her cunt and my brain was begging me to just bury my dick in her pussy without any regard to hurting her or her comfort or pleasure.”


All examples would work, but the examples using the less graphic and vague words seem to fit the scene better and endear us to the characters a little bit more. By using the less graphic words the focus seems to be not on the physical but the emotional, caring for the other person instead of one’s own self-gratification.

The Unattached Experienced and “Pure Fucking”:
   These are the sexually liberated and experienced characters. The ones that generally have had a fair amount of sex and are confident in their bedroom skills.
But for the most part they have never had sex with emotion, just pure fucking. This is the type of scene where the characters just can’t take the tension between them anymore and need to combat it in anyway necessary, usually by fucking each other’s brains out and multiple orgasms for the female. They would use the more graphic words and shy away from vague references to body parts and acts. It is all about the gratification and pleasure one receives during sex. It’s dirty, gritty, and raw and we fucking love it.

Example:

Female POV:
“His cock was throbbing as I positioned it to the entrance of my pussy. This was it; this was the moment that we had been building to. I was already on the edge of cumming as I slid down the length of his cock until I was fully seated; his cock stretched and filled my pussy like no man had before.”

Instead of:
“Grasping his manhood I guided him to my entrance, before slowly sliding him into me. My release was looming and feeling of him inside me almost pushed me over the edge. This is what I had been wanting; this was what we both needed.”

Male POV:
“The feeling of her small hand on my dick as she brought me to her pussy, like an offering to the Gods of her sex, was almost too much for me to handle. I need to be in this women and I needed it now. I felt the walls of her cunt wrapped around me like a glove as she buried my cock within her. When my cock was fully buried in her tight pussy I was amazed at how perfect a fit we were.”

Instead of:
“She guided me to her warmth, slowly allowing me to fill her. She was perfect and the feeling of being inside her was more than I had ever expected or experienced before.”


For this particular scene where lust and want are taking over all other thoughts and feelings the more graphic words convey the frenzy and base needs of the moment. Whereas the vague passages convey or possible allude to emotions that might not be there or felt yet by the characters.

Any character type and “Making Love”:
   Be it the first time the characters are intimate after admitting their feelings or the millionth time they’ve made love, there is a reverence and intimacy to the act.
It needs to be respected and handled with kid gloves. Yes, this type of scene is about connecting with your partner on a whole other level physically, but it’s also about sharing yourself and the love you feel for your beloved as well. From a male perspective use of ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’ are acceptable, but maybe not the best choices for words. Those words tend to indicate a baser physical feeling than the intimacy a writer is trying to portray. Rarely would a female be thinking or saying those words when engaged in such acts, she would be focused on the love flowing between them and the intimacy of the moment. Again this is all dependent on the type of character you are writing about.

Examples:

Female POV:
“As he moved within me I felt the love he had for me flowing out of him into me. It filled me up and sent my body aflame with the intensity of it. Being connected to him body and soul like this was all I ever wanted, all I ever craved. It was beautiful and magnificent and I wanted him like this always.”

Instead of:
“His cock moved in and out of my pussy; filling me up then leaving me empty, just to fill me again. I felt the emotions of our connection with every thrust of his hips. It was too intense and overwhelming. His cock felt so good and I was overcome with the love and desire he had for me.”

Male POV:
“The feel of her around me overwhelmed me and filled me with the love I had for her. I loved being with her this way, everything else faded away except her and I and the feelings we shared. The love we felt moved back and forth between us building and building till I couldn’t hold back anymore and let it overtake me as I poured my love into her.”

Instead of:
“The feeling of my cock moving in and out of her pussy was divine and was only intensified by the love we shared. Being buried in her tightness like this was heaven and only made my love for her grow. We were sharing more than something physical, our souls were connecting and made the pleasure of the friction of our skin sliding against each other that much sweeter.”


Again both work, but in the instead of examples the focus is on physical aspects instead of the emotional ones.

I could offer more scenes and character types but I think you get the point by now. If not then I failed and for that I am sorry. Oh well. But to sum up, sometimes graphic naughty words are needed and add to the scene and sometimes they detract and take away from the writing. It just depends on the characters and type of scene.

Again this is all subjective and depends on the style of writing an author prefers and their level of comfort in using some words. Some authors I know don’t use the graphic words as they are not comfortable using them and that’s fine. There is a way to work around everything if you try hard enough.
Now let’s discuss…

THE MOST HATED WORDS IN SMUT!!
“CORE, CENTER, MOUND & ORBS.”

Yes, the above words for some reason cause readers to rage and roll their eyes in disgust. I asked a few of my fellow writers why and got a plethora of reasons, but no definitive answer.

Sometimes you feel like a nut...
They’re just not liked. And one phrase that needs an honorable mention on the list is ‘bundle of nerves’ in reference to the clitoris. If you ask 20 smut writers which words or terms they hate you are going to get 20 different words/terms for this most hated list. But over all CORE, CENTER, MOUND and ORBS are the most hated.

Now, I have to admit that I have used each of those terms at one point or another, except orbs. But I was new to the whole writing thing and have since learned my lesson. Though if I’m being entirely honest ‘core’ and ‘bundle of nerves’ don’t bother me that much. I do try to stay away from them as to not incur the wrath of my readers though.

Starfish422 author of ‘Over the Top’ provided me with the most humorous reasons for the hate that I just have to share with you:

There are lots of reasons to hate the use of the word "orbs" for breasts, but for me, the biggest one is jealousy. An orb is a sphere. Talking about your beautifully spherical breasts is just bragging, IMO. If I was to describe mine, after two pregnancies and breastfeeding my youngest till she was two and a half, I'd have to describe them as "a pair of sweat socks with an orange in each". So from the bottom of my foundation undergarments, those orb-possessors can suck my big toe.

Mound - Like, as opposed to Almond Joy? And, generally, one should be aiming for somewhere south of the mound.

Core - Anatomically speaking, I'd say one's core is slightly north of the vajayjay - closer to the sternum? Sexay.

Center - Just stupid. And even worse when spelled Centre.

And honestly, I hate bundle of nerves too. Fortunately, it hasn't come up in my story...



I think these words are hated for the simple fact that they are vague and the anatomical parts they refer to are nothing like those words. And also they tend to be overused for the most part. They are the ‘go to’ words when not wanting to use the graphic words; it’s a cop out almost. But for better or worse they are part of the smut vernacular and we must embrace them for what they are. Nuff' said.

THE LIST!!

Dun, dun, dun. Below is a list of terms and phrases commonly and not so commonly used in smut writing. This list is nowhere near all inclusive or complete, but its fun and a virtual thesaurus for terms and alternatives. Some are serious, some are graphic and some are down right silly. I need to thank my fellow respected writers and the twitter girls for their input. Couldn’t have done it without them. Again, just to warn, this is very graphic and at sometimes vulgar.

Anatomy:

  • Breast:
    boobs, tits, titties, lady pillows, chesticles, breasticles, knockers, rack, hooters, mounds, love pillows, fun bags, peaches & rack.
  • Nipple/Areola:
    peaks, pebbled flesh, nubs, titty, nips & high beams.
  • Vagina:
    pussy, cunt, core, walls, warmth, womanhood, love canal, pink buffet, pink tunnel, heat, wetness, nether lips, hole, cum dumpster, mound, fiery furnace, her heat, lily, most secret place, tight/tightness, depths, womanhood & lady/girly bits.
  • Labia:
    lower lips, seam, folds, slit, nether lips, apex of her legs & cleft.
  • Clitoris:
    nub, bundles of nerves, clit, love button, flower bud, rubbing the bean, erect nub & pleasure pearl.
  • Gräfenberg Spot:
    G-spot, special spot, sponguey area & ridged.
  • Anus:
    lower hole, puckered ring, asshole, back door, pie hole & brown eye (eww).
  • Buttocks:
    ass, bottom, cheeks & ass cheeks.
  • Penis:
    cock, dick, member, myself, himself, peen, shaft, rod, schlong, prick, spear, length, hardness, aching bulge, engorged flesh, his need, loins, staff, shaft & manhood.
  • Erect Penis:
    hard-on engorged, swollen member, erection, hard-on, wood, stiffy, engorged flesh, loins & straining sex.
  • Glans:
    head & tip.
  • Urethral Opening:
    slit & slash.
  • Prostate:
    male g-spot, gland & special spot.
  • Scrotum:
    balls, nuts, sack, sac & testicles.
  • Perineum:
    hidden inch, special spot & taint.
  • Vaginal Fluid:
    essence, juices, wetness, warmth, heat, arousal, honey, fluid(s) & slickness.
  • Semen:
    cum, essence, manhood, jizz, spunk, seed & spooge.
  • Pre-Ejaculate Fluid:
    pre-cum, pre-juice & pre-love.

Physical acts:

  • Orgasm/Male Ejaculation:
    release/releasing, cum/cumming, shoot/shooting, come/coming, climax/climaxing, peak, poured into, hot seed, spilled into, spewing forth a fountain & blow wad. Also any of the semen words would work here.
  • Female Ejaculation:
    squirt/squirting, cream & goo.
  • Muscular responses from Orgasm:
    quivering inner muscles/walls, milking my cock, tightening in my balls, spasm, riding the wave, pushed into, broke the barrier (for virgins), shuddered in completion, spasms of pleasure, convulsed around him, clench deep inside her, shudder/shuddering, clench/clenching & spasm(s).
  • Oral Sex preformed on a Female:
    going down, eating out, tasting her, lick/licking, feast/feasting, licking pussy, licking the slit, playing the pink & drink her juices.
  • Oral Sex preformed on a Male:
    blowjob, head, giving head, deep throat, fellatio, suck/sucking off, suck/sucking dick, blow/blowing & going down.
  • Vaginal penetration/stimulation by fingers:
    prep/prepping, ready/readying, finger/fingering, finger fuck/fucking, probe/probing & readying her for me.
  • Vaginal penetration/intercourse by Penis:
    fuck/fucking, sex, joining, becoming one, screwing, bang/banging, making love, took her, buried himself, came together, claimed her, taking him in, do/doing, screw/screwing, hump/humping, pork/porking & coitus.
  • Physical motion of Vaginal intercourse:
    thrust/thrusting, rock/rocking, riding the baloney pony, taking the long boat to tuna town, laying pipe, fuck/fucking, ride/riding, pump/pumping, pound/pounding, plunging strokes, slam(med), probe(d), spear(ed), impale(d), enter(ed) & drove/driving.
  • Initial Vaginal penetration by Penis:
    enter(ed), slipped in, thrust, pushed into, broke the barrier (for virgins), penetrate(d)/penetration, drove into, impale(d), claimed her, accepted him, filled her & imbedded himself.
  • Stimulation of the Penis by hand:
    hand job, stroke/stroking, pump/pumping & work/working.
  • Anal Intercourse:
    anal sex, pegging, anal penetration & ass fucking.
  • Stimulation of the Nipples:
    lick/licking, bite/biting, suck/sucking, tease/teasing, flick/flicking, tweak/tweaking, nibble, lave, suckle, pull/pulling, pinch/pinching, knead/kneading, twist/twisting, rub & caress.
  • Stimulation of the Clitoris:
    tweak/tweaking, pinch/pinching, rub/rubbing, nibble, lave, suck(ed), suckle, lick/licking & take between lips.
  • Masturbation:
    jackin' the beanstalk', yanking the crank, taking rosy palm for a date, jacking off, jerking off, wanking, stroking self, masturbating, self –love, handling oneself, beating off & stroking.

And now for an extra added bonus a few words of wisdom, advice and thoughts from smut writers on writing smut and using terms and phrases:

cdunbar author of ‘Resident Geek’:

“I hate a lot of the words associated with a penis -- shaft, rod, swollen member (ew). I NEVER use those.”


rosette-cullen author of ‘Labour of Devotion’:

“I think any of these words are fine used in the right context, but it definitely depends on the author.

If an author is new and jumps right into it, then I think it just comes out vulgar and wrong, whereas if you work your way up, and know where it's alright to place certain phrases, it can make a story all the more real.”


Angstgodess003 author of ‘Wide Awake’:

As a caveat, I enjoy using descriptive phrases as opposed to dangerous buzzwords that will get me flamed faster then gasoline soaked dishrags. I.E. "I stroked my finger down his hard cock, starting at his tip and dragging my nail to his scrotum." = "My finger stroked his stiffened softness, trailing down it's satiny length, leading to the tightened bulges at the base."

There are some things you just can't replace. "Thrust" is a force of nature. And yes, I'm one of those tards who has actually used "Thrusted," and ignored my squiggly red spell-check because I was convinced it was a word. You fic, you learn.

Also, who do I have to fellate to have the variations of "Cumming" and "Coming" explored? This drives me crazy. He's not COMING over. He's CUMMING over.... your hand as it milks him.

And why is there ALWAYS enough pre-cum to use for lubrication while giving a hand-job? I mean... that's a shit load of pre-cum to cover his entire penis, AND last a whole hand-job without drying up, getting flaky and gross, and killing the mood. Methinks this is NOT pre-cum you speak of. This is cum-cum, and your job is done, darlin'. Go have yourself a cigarette, relax in a nice hot bath, and try to forget that the author has just written your sweetie as a premature-ejaculator.


Gustariana author of ‘Consecuencias’:

Here are my unwritten rules for my smut, mind you this applies to only what I write.. what I read... whole different ball game! hehe

- To Cum or not to Cum: I don't use the word cum. It makes me feel pornish for some reason, I opt for Come. I also try to use other ways to describe the ecstasy of the Big O.

- To feel or to "feel": Whenever possible I try to describe emotions instead of the physical aspect of sex. It doesn't always work with the story, sometime it is important for a character to enjoy the sensations etc. But if I can, I will make it an experience of the senses.

- In real life, and in fanfic life, people in love also fuck (not only sweet love making shitz). Pretty self explanatory.

I guess in general I've tried to write smut that tends to be on the softer side. It is more laden with emotions than with many descriptions of activities. I am not sure if I am explaining it right but I think my smut really is a way to show how these characters respond or are changed by sex. Edward feels what it is to have sex with someone that touches his soul, Bella feels what it is to have a real lover.

I normally don't use some of the more graphic terms. It is just a preference, but mostly because its the way I wrote the characters. Edward did say pussy one time and it was needed, it fit his character.


Okay and the last little bit from me before I bid you adieu. I am not a fan of using technical terms in smut i.e. penis, semen, glans, vagina, etc... It takes me out of the moment and it seems too clinical and void of emotion. The only time that this hasn’t been the case is when a repressed, nervous, virgin Edward used the terms ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’. It fit his character perfectly and if he had used ‘cock’ and ‘pussy’ it would have rang false. And the Edward I am referring to is Teddyward from ‘The Mirrors’ by adorablecullens.

So that’s it for this time. I hope you all enjoyed, I know I had a hoot compiling the list.
manyafandom is the author who makes multiples romantic, slash delicious and brings the deviant goodness to the shack. She hopes to in the future to write an IC/Canon Pairing/Vamp story with No Smut to prove she really isn't as big of a perv/deviant as people think she is. She enjoys almost all kinds of twific as long as it's well written and has a good story.

8 comments:

  1. Oh my god! LOL- riding the baloney pony?? I almost fell out of my chair.

    Great article on a subject many authors are squeamish about and many fans want to see!

    I'm in the midst of a first time lemon so this is great timing for me. Wonderful article!

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG! You don't know how many times I've put out a plea for a "Sex"thaurus. Thanks for putting this together.

    I have to admit that in the beginning I've fallen into the trap of several of those words. However, you live and learn as you write.

    I TOTES agree with you on your characters and keeping them in character during lovemaking/sex. I have been turned off so many times by a sweet story that has the two f*cking like rabid beasts. I agree with Gust that everyone F*cks sometimes but keep it in character!

    Now to go copy that list for future use!

    ObsessingOverEdward

    ReplyDelete
  3. I am dying here. I giggled through that whole thing. You are awesome. I agree with your advice completely. I hope the authors that read this learn something from it.

    And that pic of Rob....bwahahaha.

    xxoo

    ReplyDelete
  4. great article, very informative.

    ReplyDelete
  5. this was hilarious, and so right on. (i agree, 'riding the baloney pony' is just...hilarious. ew.) and where, for the love of all things holy, did you find that pic/manip of edward-between-thighs?! haha!! *that* had me almost fallin out of my chair.
    generally most of these terms (especially core, mounds, etc -- "folds" really bugs me too, frankly) just come off as super cheesy to me. they distract me when i'm reading. i like what gustariana said about conveying (emotional) feeling....not just physical.

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  6. Oh, thank you! 'Core', 'folds' and 'bundle of nerves' definitely make me grit my teeth the worst. Folds, Jesus.

    'Apex' bothers me too...

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  7. Thanks y'all. I laughed but also took some serious notes! Thanks for the information! This is really going to help me think twice before using certain words. I know there are some that get to me and "bundle of nerves" is right up there. Isn't your brain a bundle of nerves?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I know this was posted a long time ago but my friends and I have another name for female oral sex that I find kind of funny and others might want to use. We call it "chewing on the bubble gum", after Rasheeda's song "Got that Good". Listen to it and you'll get it!

    ReplyDelete

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