Monday, June 1, 2009

Author Interview: FatApolloLove

Pastiche interviews FatApolloLove, author of "We the Forgotten" and "Kissing Bella" on Battlestar Galactica, twisting Twilight, and things you can do with your tongue:

1. Please explain your screen name (*sigh* …because some remain ignorant still...):

The story of Fat Apollo is tragic, really. Lee “I’m-Actually-Quite-Fit” Adama (callsign: Apollo) is a young man caught in the midst of an apocalypse, waging a war against deadly evil (or not evil?) robots, and walking around being generally good-looking. Then, his father replaces him with Kara “Starbuck” Thrace (even though he’s not dead and is…right there. Not in need of being replaced). Kara “Starbuck” Thrace replaces him with someone much taller and less whiny. He accidentally marries some really boring chick and then leaves the remains of the human race (Kara “Starbuck” Thrace included) to die while he peaces out in his spaceship. And how does he deal with this incredible amount of stress and angst? He eats his feelings. My name is derived from the unshakable belief that, due to Lee “I’m No Longer Fit and Might Even Be Slightly Rotund” Adama’s new pillowy physique, he would probably (definitely) give the best hugs ever. And I do love a good hug.

2. How'd you wander into the wacky world of fan fiction?

I don’t really…know. Or remember. I really just stumbled onto my first Twilight fanfic site, Twilighted, “off the streets.” I wasn’t really dissatisfied by the books like many people who get into fan fiction seem to be (that’s one of the reasons I hear a lot), so I wasn’t particularly…looking for it. I, personally, thought Breaking Dawn was on the most amazing amount of special vampire crack in the entire world (which is a good thing). I guess maybe I was bored one day.

And possibly drunk.

3. What's your favorite real-life book? (I know... real life book?! Wha...?)

Wow. What an asshole question. Picking a favorite book is like picking a favorite child. Harder, actually. I have no problems playing favorites amongst small, unsuspecting children and then mocking those who don’t meet my standards. This is not so with books. They’re just all so…different and wonderful in their own way. I mean, how do you really compare Ender’s Game and The Sun Also Rises? I’ll tell you how: you don’t. GAH! Alright, I’ll just have to go ahead and say my favorite book is Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maughm. But I want you to know that it hurts me to write that. There are going to be a lot of books out there who are no longer on speaking terms with me.

4. (You can also mention yer fave fan fic here if you'd like.)

My favorite fanfiction probably changes every day (week). Right now it’s “Hydraulic Level 5” by Gondolier or “Tropic of Virgo” by in_a_blue_bathrobe. Those two give me the most intense mush feelings when they update (which is how I gauge favorites…by the mush-feelings). I tend to gravitate towards fiction that not only has an engaging story and interesting character development, but also lend itself to experimentation with language, style, and structure. The less conventional, the better.

5. Who would win in this fight? Kara "Starbuck" Thrace versus (human) Rosalie Hale—but to even the fight Rosalie is armed with a three jaw-puller, a gasket scraper, and four-inch stilettos (though she's allowed to take them off).

That is actually a really thoughtful question. Good job. So, Rosalie is human and is armed with….things. And Starbuck is, for lack of a better term, a “motherfucking cowboy” and is armed with badassness and a shmexy jaw line. Honestly, I think no matter what, this is a win-win situation. Any fight between these two would be epic and my inner (outer?) lesbian is pretty sure it would be ridiculously hot. I’m really trying to think critically about the physicality and who would technically win and I simply…cannot. All I can think about is the fact that I seriously have no idea why I’m still straight.

6. You don't write a linear plot—but rather an ironic, tragic twisty tie. (Pastiche thinks this is WONDERFUL.) Do you think this helps in writing tragedy?

Do I think twisty ties help with tragedy? I don’t really…know. The point of my writing isn’t to confuse the reader, despite what you may think. The reason I use flashbacks and flash-forwards is only to enhance the poignancy of what’s happening in the present. There is something to be said for hindsight. Honestly, it’s just a way to get the reader to think about what I want them to think about when I want them to think about it…you know? I could write the same story with a linear plot but I would have no way of knowing whether or not the reader would draw any parallels from earlier in the story, or if they would even remember said parallels. Plot-wise it would be less confusing, but I really think a lot of the emotion in the piece would be gone. So I guess that’s a “yes.” It helps.

7. Also do you have an outline for this crazy swirl, or are you going off the cuff?

I’d like to be able to just chuckle and be all “pfffft” and tell you that I’m just winging it and I have just this incredible ability to make things line up as I go. I’d also like to be able to tell you about my clue web thingie (like Gondolier uses) and about all the hours of research I do and how organized and awesome I am. However, I am on neither end of the “cool” spectrum and am more towards the middle sort of “lameish” region. I have an outline for all 4 parts. Some chapters I have specific dialogue written down, some I only have ideas jotted. It’s a very off-the-cuff sort of pre-planned method. But I do know how it ends. Which is… something?

8. People have odd opinions on author's notes. Yours are wonderful—but many are not. Please opine:

I traditionally read them after…I’m done with a chapter. If I feel the need to. At times, I read them before the chapter. Sometimes I’ll be halfway through a chapter and I’ll stop and remember I wanted to read the author’s note and go up and read it. They can be helpful. Or funny. Or unhelpful and completely unfunny. Occasionally they piss me off. I don’t know. I’m totally struggling to have an opinion of them right now. I just sort of looked at this question and my initial response was: “I’m pretty sure they… exist?”

9. Favorite character? And why?

I’m assuming we’re talking Twilight characters, you know, just considering… where we are. In that case I would say my favorite character is Jasper simply because I hear he’s hot and he has the best superpower. Like that one…. yeah, totally the best.

10. If you had to choose between licking Edward Cullen and Lee "Apollo" Adama, how would you choose? And no—you cannot have them lick each other instead.

That…is a trick question. Because if you’ve read Twilight or seen Battlestar Galactica (and especially if you’ve done both) then you know that such things are… impossible. Sexual advances, tongues, and physical contact in general make Edward Cullen uncomfortable. Taking into consideration his super-speed and super-virtue I doubt I could get close enough. Lee “Starbuck’s Bitch” Adama (callsign: Apollo), on the other hand, would enjoy a good licking (I’d imagine), except he is incredibly adept at cock-blocking himself. You know what I’m talking about. Like that time when Starbuck was ready to mount him in that Raptor and he was all “Wait… stop.” Or that other time when he and Starbuck got drunk and she was ready to mount him on the table and he was all “Wait… stop.” I suppose if I could lick anyone it would be Starbuck.


  1. This was ridiculously fantastic. I had to curb the giggles from start to finish and boy do I hate curbing the giggles, but I like that there are giggles to be curbed, so it all balances out in the end. See?

    And yeah, Jasper... I, uh. Yeah.

    Win. Thanks for sharing with us!

  2. Oh, I'm so happy to see FatApolloLove over here. From your answer to # 3 this is how I see you relating to children:

    It is 100% worth clicking this link, for everyone.

  3. Fats! So glad to get to know yeh! Thanks for the insight into your mind...

  4. Thank you, Fats, for putting up with my questions! Even though I am quite sure you thought I was out of my gourd upon first reading them...

  5. I am so so happy to see that you have rec'd "We the Forgotten"...I am so in love with this fabulous story and I don't think it has gotten nearly enough attention! Fats is amazing. this story blows my mind~ everyone should be reading it!!!!!

  6. Great interview. Really funny. Thanks for that. :)


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