Monday, December 28, 2009

Drabble Timez: Resolution

A Resolution

Today's Drabbly Babblers

Drabble #1:

I had exactly one Christmas wish, and it was to fuck Bella Swan.

Damn Emmett and last-minute ski trips.

“Bitch,” I says to Jasper one fine snowy day. “I’mma hit that shit like the fist of an angry God.”

“Whatever, bitch,” he said back to me. “She hates your guts.”

“Yeah, but she might love the other parts,” I mumbled, walking up the hallway to her dorm. “Stay away. At midnight, she’s mine.”

Her lips were all I could think of anymore. What better way to ring in the New Year than a sweet kiss from that piece of ass?

Drabble #2:
This will be my last one because she is alone. Had she a friend, then I’d have two more.

As it is, there is just one.

Pornographers burn in hell. I imagine they blister and shriek for eternity. I break her neck and bite as soon as the pulse is dead, so she won’t go right from one hell to the next. I can’t feel guilt when she tastes so good, but I’ll pay for this later, when I finally return to Carlisle.

One minute until the new year and the corpse hits the street.

I’ll never do it again.

Drabble #3:
Last day of the year. Last fucking chance.

I blow out a shaky breath through puckered lips. I can do this. I spent 364 days preparing. I’m ready. I grab a rag and walk toward the dirty table next to where he sat, glued to his laptop screen, just like he did every day.

A simple thing. Resolution #4: Start a conversation with green eyed guy that doesn’t involve the words grande or nonfat.

I stand next to him. Wipe the table. Steal a glance. Face him. Wipe more. Berate my stupidity. Turn around and walk away.

Maybe next year.

Drabble #4:
Diary of Jasper Whitlock 12/31/08

This Year's Resolutions:

1. Get a new hairstyle. Ronald McDonald was so last year.

2. Try harder not to eat my brother's girlfriend. Everyone says I've got no self control. Edward can't stay away from the human, watches her sleep, and insists she get married at 18, but I'm the one with the problem?

3. Stop making Emmett horny during calculus. As entertaining as it is to see him squirm, there are some things those children didn’t need to see.

4. No more letting Alice dress me. I'm 165 years old. I can dress myself.

Think You Know That Drabbler?


  1. Four out of four. Again. *thud*

    I'm going to Vegas. This is seriously starting to freak me out.

    Awesome drabs, ladies! Thank you!

  2. hey, i was wondering what story the 4th drabble was from? it looks good and i really want to read it...


  3. Damn, I got Jandco and wtvoc mixed up? BOOO!

    I fail at the drabblytimez,,, :(

  4. WOOT JandCo and Profmom right! .. not too bad getting wtvoc in the wrong place.. I figured with the swearbird factor it had to be one or the other.. (which is why we all love her and her loverly potty mouth hehe)

  5. Well, I hope jandco and profmom won't be upset that I got the two of them turned around.

    This is so fun.

  6. don't worry, angsty-poo. many people can't tell us apart. we've written each other's shit before, ffs, and elleCC seems to be the only person who can ever tell.

    ahhh ficster, i've missed you so. ;_;

  7. I got four for four, but that's because I posted... and jandco's vaguely reminds me of "Drinking by the Moonlight" by Li Po in both rhythm and texture, which I sorta adore, and so i especially liked, and then I'm sure without even knowing I could have guessed mizzy flounce-of-course no probs. Hehe.

  8. @wtvoc, (wtfoc???) I challenge ellecc! I knew it was yours right away! Not a doubt in my mind.

    ...though I mixed up the last two...sigh.

  9. See, and you thought you were so obvs, K.

    I love that people are loving this :)

  10. Tricia swearing at a rate of 1%? I am so disappointed in you young lady.

    Oddly enough I had no trouble picking wtvoc out of a lineup.

  11. I seriously love this feature. It's so much fun. :)

    Stacygirl's drabble cracked me up big time. I loved it! :D

  12. angstgoddess im with you i got them mixed up too...i think these should be at least made into


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