I decided I wanted to interview
Alice aka Feathersmmmmfor the blog. I asked AG if I could and she graciously agreed. She told me she wanted it in a 17 question format. I balked. Instead I caught Alice on Chat and we had a talk…here it is, edited for typos and only a few rando digressions. It’s raw and possibly confusing. I cleaned it up as best I could!
Angel: one second
Alice: k
Angel: my bff (heya mo!) called and was in the middle of a rob is so hot rant
Alice: haha
Angel: we do this three times a day
Alice: always take time for a rob rant
Angel: yes okay...today they tell me they want me to ask you like 17 questions and I’m all…
Alice: hahaha who is they??
Angel: "NO I LIKE TO DO THE CHAT"(mods via AG)
Alice: I see
Angel: so I’m refusing
Alice: ask away and then post the chat lets make it nice and loose. thats what she said. in fact, I would post what we have said already
Angel: yes I tell them people prefer the acutal convo (fine this is what I like) trust me
Alice: they do
Angel: I will
Alice: especially for me, since I am clearly insane. People enjoy insanity, not gonna lie
Angel: When you answer preset questions you have time to think it over and filter and edit
Alice: hello mods!! Waves I have no edit button
Angel: bhahah WE SEE YOU
Alice: seriously...i should self edit more but I don’t
Angel: no me either
Alice: we see you, and you will get alice, raw and uncut
Angel: excellent okay let me begin
Alice: wait wait. can i tweet that you are intrerviewing me?
Angel: WHAT? Yes
Alice: or is it a secret?
Angel: no I tweeted earlier that I needed questions I got a couple okay while you are gone I will do my intro:
Alice: ok, just tweeted hit me btw, i just got as brazilian about an hour ago...so I am a little cranky...and I hope this makes it into the interview
Angel: people know that I am a obsessed rob lover all the time so a couple of them told me to read
I love LA, a Robfic, and I was all "Ewww-hale not those creep me out" so, anyway then came the terrible, TERRIBLE DAY IN THE FANDOM the day of
Alice: dun dun dun
Angel: the horrific Kings of Leon photos and a piece of me died
Alice: can’t even think about it
Angel: no we will not discuss
Alice: I left a piece of my soul on that Parisian tarmac
Angel: I apologize for bringing it up and really you know I can talk about it for days so we won't. anyway-
Alice: I cant talk about it. That’s a hard limit for me....
TURPENTINEAngel: someone said
Annie I think--she said go read ILLA it will make you feel better. I promise
Alice: awwww I love you Annie so getting laid tonight
Angel: so I just dove the fuck in. and I loved it.
Alice: you really have to just dive right in with rl fic. It’s not a hair by hair band aid situation...you gotta go all or nothing
Angel: I did. it was great. as you know cause I fangirled you
Alice: hahaha!! I know, I lost my shit when I got a review from you
as I am a
creature of habit whore I texted nina I was all "holy sheet angel is reading illa!!!"
Angel: Well, the funny thing is you were reviewing me and posting on my thread and i was all embarrassed that I didn’t read your fic.
Alice: pffft
Angel: I felt terrible--I did
Alice: please
Angel: but whatever
Alice: rl fic squicks most peeps so I never take it personally
Angel: the reality of the situation is that horrible not to be named event brought us together
Alice: but am glad to have you on this side of the sharks vs jets rumble
Angel: me too
Alice: haha, yes, and now our lives are almost complete
Angel: almost
Alice: btw, edit out my typos please
Angel: I will
(note: I tried!) Alice: I say almost complete because it will not be fully complete until we have rob in our kitchen baking cookies and by baking cookies. I mean actually baking cookies, as that would be a great way to kill an afternoon
Angel: it would I would love to bake cookies with rob. QUESTION:
Alice: cracks neck
Angel: if you could do one thing with rob that was not sexual what would it be?
Alice: anything???
Angel: yes
Alice: hmmm other than bake cookies?
Angel: yes
Alice: can I bring him to christmas dinner? just to infuriate mr alice?
Angel: (I love that you have to think of this I totally know my answer). Yes anything
Alice: I would bring him to christmas dinner, subject him to my mother, and then get him wasted and then move on to the stocking stuffing portion of the evening~ahem
Angel: so...serious question:
Alice: cracks knuckles
Angel: Why RL fic? how did you get into this?
Alice: OK here’s the cliffs notes version before illa I had never written anything before I mean anything not even in a journal because whenever iI tried to write in a journal, I felt like a dork I felt like I was cheating, and it felt false and very after school special anyway when i started reading fanfiction and reading anything and everything that I could get my hands on
as you do at the beginning, like a fiend I noticed there were not that many fics about rob now I was new to ff and i had no idea that writing rl
fic was such a big deal and that so many people found it akin to killing kittens that being said, I started to get some ideas. I saw 2 interviews with rob:
1. where he was asked who his celebrity crushes are he answered Patricia Arquette, Dana Delaney and Elizabeth Shue who are not young woman…interesting
2. he told another interviewer that he thought Tina Fey was the sexiest woman on the planet.
This killed me dead. So, here’s this young kid, about to be hugely famous and he is clearly a smart ass and a funny, funny guy besides being illegally cute and I started to piece together some ideas for a story and grace was born the story started out very small, had virtually no readers, and then it just took on a momentum of its own and since I hadn’t written anything before writing a "genre" like rl fic which doesn’t have a large audience (at least initially) but there weren’t many out there, I thought it would be a great way to try something new and make a little niche for myself since there were only a few rl fics out there. I really didn’t think anyone would read it
so its funny now when I reread the first few chapters and think wow, what shite
Angel: ha I do this to. It’s painful. Okay so one reason I loved ILLA is: Rob seemed like Rob, you know, fictionalized but still Rob but Grace? She was awesome
Alice: totally idealized rob btw aw…
Angel: totally. Well, some RL fics…obviously I can not read Robsten fics at all ever, so that cuts out a bunch then
Alice: shudders
Angel: I know lets not speak of it then there are the ones that seem like the authors just are writing about themselves and Rob which is creepy and not entertaining
Alice: I have to tell you I got a criticism early on from someone that wasn’t even reading the fic that was saying that rl fic is just masturbatory fantasies. on the one hand I was like...dur... but on the other hand, i thought that the character of Grace is someone that a lot of people really seemed to relate to
Angel: ha I know yes
Alice: and I was actually glad to get the criticism since illa only got a few bad reviews
Angel: absolutely-well I PMed you and told you that I felt like ILLA was the kind of book I would pick up at Target in chick lit (which I mean as a compliment) it carried itself
Alice: thank you my dear
Angel: np
Alice: Grace seems to be able to hold her own
Angel: she does
Alice: and by that clearly I mean her own boobies. you knew boobies would come up at some point in this interview right?
Angel: I was hoping
Alice: only a matter of time
Angel: Okay next question:
Alice: cracks back
Angel: ILLA was pulled from FF.net because the terms of service does not allow RL fics. Care to describe this scenario?
Alice: no haha. It was pulled by ff.net because someone or many someones reported it and it apparently is in violation of their terms of service so there :)
Angel: (note: almost all authors on ff violate the TOS at one point or another during a fic. This isn’t an excuse it is just a fact)
Alice: one day i signed in and poof no more all the reviews gone. It was sad really
Angel: well, you are not the only FF friend I have who has had this issue--and there’s weren’t RL fic so. It sucks
Alice: but it had been complete for some time at that point I believe. Yes I agree but what can you do ya know? I was a little pissy but ah well
Angel: well i had just finished it and told a friend to read it...she was midway though and it was just gone-she freaked so I said...oh go read it on twilighted...WHICH takes us to… At least there are other awesome sites that allow all kinds of writing.
Alice: indeed and I love twilighted had actually toyed with the idea of only posting Wallbanger (
Edward Wallbanger is Alice’s AHAU fic) on twilighted.net but then I decided I didn’t want to limit the readers to only that site what’s funny is illa did much, much better on twi than on ff, so I thought the same would be the case on ff but no maam the opposite happened I got waaay more readers on ff this time around....its nice I am pleased when anyone reads it, anywhere but I must say I do love the community over on twilighted a lot
Angel: well you know twilighted is so close to my heart because it literally carried me through what we call The Fail of breaking dawn
Alice: ah
Angel: I lived on the fail train
Alice: that was before my time awww
Angel: for about 2 months. It helped me cope
Alice: it’s nice you all had a place where you could talk each other down off the ledge. Later on I will share with you how I would like to see the Isle Esme scene filmed heh heh heh
Angel: excellent okay I have a reader question:
Alice: cracks ass
Angel: From
EjSantry of course
Alice: I love reader questions. Wait a minute…are you going to ask me about kitchen sex?
Angel: why yes I am
Alice: I fucking knew it…jesus
Angel: do you refuse this question? I will allow one refusal
Alice: oh no, I don’t refuse it- I welcome it, I just never thought believe me, in a million years that I would be known for my kitchen sex in an online twilight porn community
Angel: Question: Favorite kitchen surface (ykwim)?
Alice: but ah well haha well, for the foreplay, I love sitting on the counter, but for the actual sexing usually the floor which is always spotless thank you very much
Angel: I was gonna say you totally do not have kids or dogs
Alice: neither
Angel: exactly
Alice: altho we do have 2 cats
Angel: meh not the same
Alice: one of whom is named Gracie hahaha Eventually we are getting a Bernse Mountain Dog which will shed a lot might cut down on the kitchen floor sexing we'll see
Angel: well it will but maybe not for the hair but for the fact it will try to join in trust
Alice: gross
Angel: question 2 from EJ
Alice: cracks up
Angel: Favorite place to find new fics?
Alice: ooooo I like to go old school and I click on Most Recent on twi and scroll until I strike gold which just recently yielded
With Teeth, which is making everyone apeshit right now not to mention I find a lot of little known fics this way which I really like to pimp
Angel: ape shit? me? Let’s discuss pimping fics. I am a huge fan of the author pimp and I find it difficult sometimes As I have a fairly large readership and they really appreciate the fic rec and I love to read and I love to share what I am reading but...there is this hard side where if you contact an author and tell them you are reading and then idk fall out of love with the story it gets uncomfortable. do you experience this?
Alice: hmmmm…I usually don’t reach out to the author and tell them I am gonna rec. I sometimes I rec it at the end of a chapter
Angel: no no I don’t either but I do contact them by review
Alice: sometimes, especially recently since Wallbanger went on hiatus, I rec it on emails, forum threads, or twitter so, when I rec something I usually hear back from the author within a day or so which is great, since I love to meet new peeps, BUT I usually don’t rec something unless I am pretty damn sure I am gonna stick with it for the long hauland Wallbanger readers especially seem to really like the recs, and they usually start reading them right away which makes me happy since I love to share what is currently kicking my ass
Angel: yes I dont review or rec until it is a good way in.
Alice: especially when its a fic that not a lot of people are reading
I was very lucky that illa caught the attention of some big authors at the time and they pimped the shit outta me and so I always make sure to share what I like and what I love:)
Angel: yes I feel the same way. I was lucky to have the support of some really great authors with COH. It was amazing. I try to return the favor. And you and I both read a lot like daily many authors either don’t or maybe dont admit it
Alice: I read a lot of updates from my phone and it sucks because I cant review from my phone. another reason I like to pimp other fics
Angel: (yes so you say)
Alice: I cant!!
Angel: ha. okay
Alice: shut it
Angel: ahem-next question
Alice: smokes crack
Angel: EJ-things that make you laugh?
Alice: roseanne reruns, mr alice cracks my shit up on a daily basis. weird stuff cracks me up like, really good banter. if you have never watched His Girl Friday or Bringing Up Baby....jesus. that stuff is gold its the back and forth that I like
Angel: okay last one from EJ: Favorite Xmas gift? floor cleaner?
Alice: that I gave or was given?
Angel: idk she didn’t specify
Alice: hmmm…favorite gift was when mr alice bought me tickets to go see RENT, and hid them in a book about musical theater I was so excited to read the book. I was flipping thru it and actually started crying when I saw the pages ABOUT rent, missing the tickets that were tucked in that page He just stood there laughing for 5 minutes while I missed the tickets then when I saw them then the waterworks started for real
Angel: awwww you heart mr. alice and his gifts
Alice: I really do and his peen
Angel: good thing right?
Alice: mm hmm
Angel: okay one more reader question:
Alice: gets crackalackin
Angel: AltheaJames wants to know how much time do you spend reading as you are a pimping machine.
Alice: hahaha no shit. I read updates a lot, that keeps me current, and I pick up probably a new fic each week although not as much lately as I have been so busy. I read a shit ton. That’s actually been measured a shit ton. since we have been doing this interview 2 of my fics have updated
Angel: meeeee tooooo!
Alice: :)
Angel: as we read like 99% of the same fics
Alice: yes we do
Angel: I bet you are trying to decide which one to read first
Alice: its gonna be hard tonight (that’s what she said)
Angel: sometimes I hold out on the 'better' one
Alice: me too!!! Save the best for last
Angel: AG and I use fic updates as carrots for writing "if I write 1k I can read this update"
Alice: I do that sometimes altho I can barely write checks these days
Angel: she is doing this at this moment with
Burn and Shine.
Alice: fucking hell, I forgot that updated too!! This is gonna be a good night
Angel: It was awesome FYI I read it
Alice: shut it
Angel: Speaking of Writer's Blocks…
Alice: cracks block
Angel: how much does having a writer's block SUCK?
Alice: it sucks balls, big balls, big huge elephant balls normally I don’t get it, but if I take too long to update ~ahem~ its harder for me to get back into it. outlining helps a lot and I go by scene rather than word count or pages or anything I know how many scenes per chapter I am gonna work on and I go scene by scene but if I stop mid chapter mid-scene rather. it’s really hard for me to pick back up
Angel: yes I can relate to this is why I update weekly-literally
Alice: you are a machine with nuts and bolts
Angel: if I didn’t I would have a hard time getting it done. Ha! Do you find Wallbanger easier or harder to write than ILLA (not including blocks)?
Alice: harder
Angel: any reason?
Alice: when I started wallbanger I was coming off illa, and I was sad but I wanted to get a chapter posted of wallbanger before I ended illa to help transition over some readers but it took awhile to get out of Grace’s head and into Bella’s once I was there I wrote pretty fast but then rl exploded and that has brought us here.
Angel: you write a lot of humor
Alice: I do
Angel: my favorite part of Wallbanger so far is when she follows Edward to the bathroom cause she is scared to be left in the room alone. I would so do this
Alice: hahaha
Angel: I love real life humor in the middle of a story
Alice: I think its funny because so many of us would do this. I remember being at slumber parties and if we were watching a scary movie we would all go to the bathroom in a group--the mental image of Bella outside Edward’s bathroom draped in a sad sack afghan was just too funny to me to not put in with one eyehole darting around furiously
Angel: it was awesome…well...its imagery and imagery is so good
Alice: that’s the thing
Angel: it is a skill many authors need to learn to use
Alice: I see everything in cinemascope that’s why I had the soundtrack to illa so integrated into the scenes I actually thought about if it were a movie--what song would be playing and I try to write scenes so that you cab really imagine it there I don’t know what I am doing half the time but I think if I were reading this, what would I need to feel 'there" and then I go I think because I never took a writing class and know SHIT about writing as a craft. I am more simple in how I lay out a scene I think about the subtext when I am creating dialogue what are they saying, but what are they reaaaalllyy saying what are the stakes in each scene what has to happen in many ways, its more a character study the way I figure this shit out
Angel: you know I do this also...it may be why we like each others writing...its a similar technique. I do all of that too I spend half the time thinking about what they aren't saying in relation to what they are saying.
Alice: yes the subtext--the hum just underneath when he says "pass the milk" what he really wants to say is "pass the milk before I scream at you for fucking that other guy" blah blah blah see, this is why you cant ask an actor questions like this I can bullshit on character motivation for fucking days
Angel: you did pull your ILLA from twilighted? correct? and if you did...did you get any grief from this or comments? care to explain why you did?
Alice: I got a lot of questions about where it had gone and the readers have been insanely supportive George and Gracie will def be back and there will def be a sequel those two are too much fun to go away forever
Angel: ima ask some fluff questions. favorite book:
Alice: love fluff. Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
Angel: are you currently reading a 'real book'?
Alice: I am about a fourth of the way into Under The Dome, Stephen King, and also Ms Astor Regrets I tend to have several books going at once. I am also reading What It Means To Be 98% Chimpanzee
Angel: What was your favorite part of NM?
Alice: it would be easy to say the reunion but I actually liked when Bella made the family put it to a vote and in fact, I loved in the movie when she told Edward to shut up I thought it was a nice addition I never liked the idea that Bella’s choices were made for her I appreciated that she was making the rest of the family vote it wasn’t just up to Edward way to ball up Bella
Angel: yes--it was one of the more realistic moments--people in Hollywood think we want passive Bella. as we in fanfic know…we do not.
Alice: no we don’t we do however want to see the trailer to Facepunch. fucking hell, best name for a fake movie ever
Angel: bhahahaha yes. I KNOW it was like Seinfeld and their fake movie names
Alice: I hope it’s on the DVD extras
Angel: okay: what was the last band you went to see?
Alice: I dont see live bands very often I see every U2 show and its like going to church so its hard for me to see other concerts when I am not emotionally invested
Angel: yes I get this totally
Alice: wait wait that’s not true. the last concert I was fucking NKOTB last fall and it was fantastic. wouldn’t have traded it for the world so much fun
Angel: ha I am older than you
Alice: I doubt it
Angel: but I went to see Duran Duran later in life and it was like--a dream come true
Alice: I bet, seriously seeing New Kids, I felt 13 again it was hysterical I was laughing so hard
Angel: it was like I had completed a moment in life
Alice: yep
Angel: ~sees Duran Duran~ check. okay: Kill, Fuck, Marry? Edward in
With Teeth,
Burn and Shine or
High Anxiety Alice: ooooo oh man you just killed me dead
Angel: I know- that was a good one..
Alice: can I count for the kill?? I guess Kill Burn and Shine, only because she has already fucked him--Fuck High Anxiety because come on, the guy needs it BAD and Marry With Teeth, so they can wait until he is thru his recovery abstaining phase and then he can fuck the shit out of her—I mean me
Angel: okay wrapping up…anything you want to do?
Alice: Yes, can I rec a fic?
Angel: yep please do.
Alice: I’m totally into
Stolen Singer by
nerac. It’s new. http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5524894/1/Stolen_Singer
Angel: great…Thanks for chatting!
Alice: Thanks- I feel like a grown-up.
Alice aka Feathersmmmm is the author of the Rpattz fic
I love LA and the AU/AH story
Edward Wallbanger. She is also a moderator of
Twigasam Podcast. If you didn’t notice she is dealing with a bad case of writer’s block and we hope this gets better soon so we can find out what happens in Tahoe.