So, you’re probably scratching your collective heads and asses wondering why Ninapolitan, is writing an essay on Carlisle.
Well I say why not? Sure, you can say a canon writer should have tackled (yum) the Cullen family patriarch but you’re stuck with me. I promise to be fair and only drool minimally.
Most would venture to say that I have a disturbing, in a non-psychotic way of course, love for Carlisle Cullen. I’ve also got the biggest collection of hideously inappropriate avatars that all include the delish Dr. Cullen.
This pic doesn’t qualify me for shit, just a lady that’s been a fan of Peter for years
One could argue that I have dubbed him one of the most recognizable, albeit unfortunate nicknames within the fandom. Let the record show, ‘Hot Bitch Carlisle’ wasn’t something that I thought would stick, especially after making him such a ridiculous representation of such a well loved character, but I digress. I blame Peter. * sigh *
Peter Facinelli, the almighty hotness with those scrumptious chipmunk cheeks is at fault for the much ridiculed (algonquinrt hates it) nickname did lend to the love (obsession) I have for Dr. Hot Bitch. Regardless of that fact,
The Twiverse is loaded with everything from the truly OOC manifestations, where the only thing that remains true are his damn name and maybe some of his physical attributes (mine from BSD is obviously in this category). But I wasn’t in the dirty trenches of the ficroll looking for those,hell no. I’d write my own ridiculous incarnation about Carlisle being a streaker in a mall parking lot wearing only a bow tie and a Burberry trench coat. (Don’t steal that it’s in the works and yes, I am that insane.)
So if it was totally OOC that I was looking for what was the search about? My quest was for the memorable portrayals of our dear beloved, hot and dirty, damn tangent again sorry. Let me start again, I wanted the versions
My Hot Bitch
That point leads me to…canon Carlisle. Now, because I’m a perv, I immediately want to make a joke about Carlisle and his canon but again, I digress.
What do I mean? There were essentially two major themes among the parties that I questioned. On one hand some people felt that some writers present Carlisle as too much of a Ward Cleaver or Mr. Cunningham. Some felt that he is written as an inappropriate replacement as their human fathers when in reality he’s only their ‘father figure’ (cue George Michael music) but they’re all technically adults free to make their own decisions. He should be portrayed as a role model, someone to guide not punish. The following is a comment that was a great representation of the middle of the road when it came to Daddygate.
The baseball scene is a perfect example of both sides to the debate (and one that is on constant loop at my house). Carlisle IS a twenty-three year old vampire who happens to have been born in the 1640’s.
So many crass jokes about hitting a homerun come to mind...
The other side to the great debate over Daddygate is that he should be viewed as a more fatherly figure instead of just the proverbial head of the family.
It’s true that all of his experiences have helped him grow into the truly complex character that he is. His past is what helps him educate and nurture his family. I don’t think that anyone can doubt that Carlisle sees the Cullens as a true representation of a family unit. I don’t particularly care for the word coven, especially not in regard to the Cullens.
If that isn’t the best sales pitch for an eternal fount of Carlisle love, I don’t know what is.
The Not-So Canon Carlisle
Past & Presentby
GiveUsAKiss413: When I sent out the “Gimme your fave Carlisle stories”, thirty two people gave me their opinions, from AU/AH/Slash, all of it. Two of the stories
I may not be canon but I’m still magnificent.
I’m not going to lie. I love this Carlisle almost more than my own Hot Bitch. He’s the Vamp Hot Bitch of the Vamp world in my opinion. He’s tragically flawed, in love with Bella and God, for as tragically canon with pairings as I am, I almost wish he ended up with the Bella of this story. I can’t say that about any other story.
My point is (besides my undying love of this version of HotBitchBiteMeCarlisle, is that even in this story, where Meyer canon is thrown so off course because of who did Edward’s change and other pertinent events, the underlying sense of utter devotion to those that he loves is there and strong and beautifully written.
All My Human Carlisle
That being said, have you ever noticed how many stories there are in the all-human genre that even though you’ve got the creative freedom, many still portray Carlisle as the patriarch? Sure, there are some where he and the other men are cousins or friends, ‘
Deconstructing Dracula’ by
Hmonster04, and “
The Fan” by
Pears13are two that have Carlisle closer in age (though unfortunately both still have him married to ‘you know who’).
My point is, that 7/10 stories have Carlisle and ‘that woman that shall not be named married’ with at least one
This has nothing to do with anything, I just think it’s hilarious.
In my opinion, I could read that statement and not have any clue if she were referring to a canon or OOC story. That is how I see their relationship. I think there is a happy medium with them, a mutual regard for each other that to me isn’t necessarily one-side by being paternal but much more of a brotherly level of respect.
There is a very telling conversation between Carlisle and Bella and his relationship with his son in Colleen’s story.
“Yes. He claims you're his best friend and that he tells you everything. I just have a hard time believing him.”
Carlisle laughed. “Well, you should believe him. He's telling the truth.”
“He actually does tell you everything?” I asked. “As in everything everything?”
“Fuck,” I muttered.
Carlisle, whether in canon or not, is an extremely complex character. He’s a strong willed and compassionate man, his love for his family is almost always an integral part of the story in some form or fashion.
So in closing, I’d just like to pass along some of my favorite Carlisle portrayals.
Honestly, when it comes to Big Daddy Carlisle and (his) canon you really shouldn’t look any further than, Giselle’s ‘
Ithaca is Gorges’. If I didn’t mention this story, I’d be doing Carlisle, er, I mean I’d be doing the essay on Carlisle a huge disservice.
Essentially, Ithaca is the Cullen’s New Moon, and is truly a remarkable piece of writing. Giselle’s done a outstanding job of taking that dark, painful and tortured and virtually unknown timeframe that the
The Tutor” by ItzMegan73. Not only does Megan write one of the only teenage stories that I read and love, she embraces the teenage mentality wonderfully. She also manages to write a Carlisle and wife that act like parents to teenagers. They’re not conveniently absent nor do they turn a blind eye as in some stories. They’re also not obscenely overprotective and OOC. They’re parents and I love the story.
The Vampire in the Basement” by Michellephants. I rec’d this way back when and I believe that 98% of the fandom has read it but it needs repeating. I love the way Michelle has written Carlisle, aside from this truly beautifully written Edward, Carlisle is my next favorite character in this story. Another example of how even though they’re not ‘his’ children, he does everything in his power to protect them and keep his family safe.
I’ve got a list a mile long of OOC, asshole Carlisle, smutty Carlisle (not in a gross way, just in an ‘I like sex’ kind of way. I know I bust balls, and make fun of his wife but in all sincerity it take a lot of work to write truly canon stories.
Eve, the Apple of my Eye” from Bethaboo is a phenomenal example of a great in character story that follows the couple.
No Longer Alone” and “
A Coming of Age” by Elise Shaw were rec’d to me by MsKathy and Algonquinrt and I devoured them. They’re just two more examples of unbelievably well written and detailed stories.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this little ride on the Carlisle train. I tried to be good. I hardly cursed at all and I was respectful (mostly) to my favorite character. Honestly, if you guys want some good and dirty ones, let me know I’d be more than happy to pass those beauties along, Lord knows I read enough of them.
Oh, and Peter smells like fresh laundry and mint. He chews a ridiculous amount of gum and is honestly THE NICEST celebrity that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Yes, I’ve met a bunch after living in NYC for a while but he takes the cake. He was genuine and humble and receptive to every fan that was there, even after six hours of non-stop crazy.
I want to thank the wonderful Sam for allowing me to do this, I owe her peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies and I will send them.
I leave you with the good Dr. Cullen.
And my favorite Peter videos…good Lord.
Ninapolitan, HBIC of the
pervily perfect PPSS, also authors such classics as
The Bella Swan Diariesand
The Wingman. She's known for smut and fluff and has the cutest little accent.
Upcoming Characters:Esme, Alice, Rosalie, Jacob, Nessie.
Characters still up for grabs: (The groupings are tentative and can be amended for technical purposes.)
The Denali Sisters,
If you feel as though you know these characters well, are intrigued by popular characterizations and uses of them, and have the time to offer an exploration installment, please email me at email@example.com for more information and to snag a character. This is pretty first come, first serve. Writers AND Readers welcome!