LitPodcast: Books off the Hook

Episode 2: Graceling

Kristin Cashore's Blog

In our second episode of TLYDF's podcasting venture, Amelia, Shannon and Caitlin sit down to discuss Graceling by Kristin Cashore.

Show Notes:

-why we wanted to do a YA lit podcast
-Our favourite line or passage
-what is a Grace?
-Why do we love Katsa?
-How many of the males in this book are idiots.
-How the two main Graces evolve throughout the book.
-speculation about the sequels

Subscribe to us on iTunes or download the episode directly here.

On our next episode we will be discussin The Hunger Games by Suzanna Collins

Affiliates: Temptation Podcast

Episode 23: Twilight Fandom Cage Fight! has been released. Limona joins us this week to announce the nominations of the Bellie Awards!

Check it out right here

Author Interview: RosieWilde

Bittenev Recommendation: Guns and Roses By RosieWilde

1. Have you always wanted to be a writer?

Yes. No. Meh, I’m not even sure I want to be a writer now. I love writing and have done it all my life, in the guise of various unfinished manuscripts and half-filled notebooks, so I can’t imagine not doing it. I don’t think I have the discipline to be a ‘real’ writer, though, because I’ve never actually finished a story. I hope I haven’t freaked out a couple of people by saying that; for the record, I have every intention of finishing Guns and Roses. I’ve just never really had a good incentive before, and I think it took people screaming at me to update to push me to write this far.

2. What is it about the Twilight Fandom that made you want to write ff for it? Have you, or do you want to write ff for other Fandoms?

I am actually pretty new to fanfiction in any form. I’ve been registered on ff.net since September, and I only found the site in August. When I was waiting (none too patiently I might add) for Breaking Dawn to come out, I impulsively decided that if I couldn’t read the book, I could damn well write it for myself! I got to about Chapter 11 before I realised that I had no idea where the story was going and I was out of ideas. I remember naively wondering whether, if I posted it on a blog or something, anybody would read it, but dismissed that as a stupid idea. I chuckle at the irony now. It was only when I was reading reviews of BD that I discovered fanfiction through the recommendation of a disgruntled Twihard. I checked it out and got hooked. The rest is history.

Oh, yeah, I haven’t actually answered the question. I wanted to write because I just had a compulsion to and an idea suddenly came to me. I can’t see myself writing for any other fandoms because I just don’t know enough about them, and have never been addicted to a book as I was to Twilight.

3. What do you like to see in a review?

Praise, and heaps of it! Well, that’s not exactly true. I love, as I’m sure every writer does, a review that seems reasoned, as if the reader has really thought about the story and what they want to say. Of course, the reviews that scream about how much they love the story are great, too, and I would rather any review than none!

Ooh, a really brilliant thing to read in a review is “I trust you.” Seriously, it makes my day. It means that not only do they enjoy the story, but they recognise that I know where I’m going and believe that I can pull it off. This is especially good as I have a couple of tricks up my sleeve when it comes to G&R and I need people to be on board!

One other thing: good spelling and punctuation in a review really lifts it. Clearly, I’m a grammar freak and every chapter I post is vetted really carefully by both myself and my fabulous beta, Cullenista. I don’t expect the same OCD tendencies from everyone, but it is nice to read something which is actually in English. I’ve had some truly spectacular reviews which seem to me more articulate and poetic than the chapter, and they are just a treat to read.

4. What do you do to avoid writer’s block? If it’s unavoidable, what do you do to surpass it?

The best way for me to avoid that uncomfortably blank emptiness of mind is to stay engrossed in the fandom. Chapters come easiest when I post one and immediately begin writing the next. Obviously, this doesn’t often happen; when I post I’m usually completely drained and yet exhilarated, a condition that is not conducive to writing anything (when I’ve finished a chapter I usually want to update right then so I’m bouncing on my seat waiting for Cullenista to get it back to me). It can take up to a couple of days for that euphoria to fade.

If writer’s block settles its mantle upon me, however, it can be very difficult to pull back from it. Luckily, I’ve not yet had anything worse than a couple of weeks’ distress *touches wood*, but I imagine my strategy for dealing it would be the same. Basically, it involves planning: thorough, detailed and strict. I’ve already outlined the whole story and I know precisely where I’m going, although exactly how I’ll get there is up for discussion. When I write a chapter, I always need to know when I start what is to be achieved in it: what will happen, what will be conveyed, what is the point? I ask myself, ‘what does this chapter add to the story?’ It’s when the answer is ‘nothing’ that I know I’m in trouble. That’s when the old notepad and Barclay’s biro comes out and I plot and scheme until I have a bullet point outline of the chapter and how it fits into the story as a whole. I don’t know what would happen if this didn’t work; the thought fills me with cold dread.

I realise that I sound like the dullest, most pernickety writer ever to tread in this green and pleasant fandom, but having a rigid framework as I do gives me a chance to roam free in the actual writing, knowing that something is holding it all together. The planning is flexible as well – when I first began G&R I was expecting it to be six to ten chapters in length. The idea grew and grew and, well, I really should start working on the 33rd chapter now. Time flies.

Interestingly (or not, whatever) I rarely redraft anything I’ve written. I just hate to delete it and I save everything. I will add parts and get rid of others, tweak and refine, but I almost never just start again. I actually can’t think of a single time I’ve done that. I’m a conviction writer, really: it either works or it doesn’t. Bizarre, right?

5. Do you find that any certain characters are more difficult to write than others? What characters are your favorite to write?

I write from Bella or Edward’s perspective and I’ve only ever done that. I suppose it could be considered a narrow outlook, but for me there is plenty to pick up on and work through. They are both immensely complex characters, more so than they are often given credit for being, and I like exploring that aspect of both their personalities, beyond the cliché of Bella’s clumsiness and Edward’s perfection. I particularly enjoy writing from Edward’s point of view, actually, because he has so many levels. While it’s easy for me to identify with Bella, having always understood why she made the decisions she did throughout the book, it’s so much more fun to delve into Edward’s psyche and see what’s going on in his head. I am fascinated by the way he torments himself, even in human form, and exploring that is remarkable every time.

6. What types of books and ff do you enjoy reading?

Very different things, actually. In fanfiction, I look for a great romance (smut is good but only if it has a really strong plot to carry it through) and witty banter between characters. Sometimes I’m in the mood for just a little fluff, and other times I want something with more substance to keep me interested.

When I choose a book, to compensate for the ridiculous amount of time I spend reading online, I try to pick something overly intelligent. I’ve just finished reading Child 44 by Tom Rob Smith, which was a real nail biter, and I’m now embarking on Sarah Waters’ latest book. As I work in a bookshop part-time, I have to try and keep up with the latest releases and so much of what I read is very recent.

Some of my favourite books, however, are more traditional: I love Sense and Sensibility, Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice, to cover the older section, and then some more modern classics like Nineteen Eighty-Four and Les Jeux Sont Faits. Books from my childhood are also fantastic, for example, Northern Lights, Little Women and Harry Potter. I used to devour books at a rate of knots but sadly I no longer have so much time. When I get a chance, though, there’s little better than curling up with a good book and losing yourself for a few hours. On a recent train journey to Durham, I read constantly for the three-hour journey each way, hardly looking up, and it’s such a rare experience for me these days that I enjoyed it all the more.

7. You really have a specific genre that you write. What made you choose this genre? Do you think you’ll ever try a different one?
After this story is complete do you have plans to continue with another story?

I love the current genre that I’m writing in; romance in 1918 was simpler yet so beautiful, and the war is incredible to write about. I really enjoy getting my teeth into the gorier chapters, such as ones that include battles, wounds or gas attacks, and if I don’t get a bit of blood into every chapter then I can be disappointed :P That being said, I’m an old romantic and every moment where Bella and Edward are together takes up three times as long as its equivalent when they’re apart. The language of the early twentieth century is also brilliant to immerse myself in as it allows me to give in to my more loquacious tendencies. Why say anything in one word when ten would not only say it, but describe what the character is experiencing through all five senses?

Despite all this, I am itching to sink my teeth into a more modern genre. I honestly love writing G&R and will stick with it to the bitter end, but part of me desperately misses cars and phones of the mobile variety. I compensate in my real life, of course, but I ache to send Edward a text or drive Bella around. Hopefully my next project will encompass all these things; I have a few ideas but nothing concrete as yet. I find it hard to split my attention between stories, however, because I put so many emotions into writing each chapter, so maybe I’ll have to wait until G&R is finished to see if the ideas will lead anywhere. It’s exciting, anyway :)

Author Interview: ScarlettLetters

Jandco Recommendation: Wild Swan By ScarlettLetters

1. 1. Instead of the traditional fall-in-love-happily-ever-after formula, you chose to write about falling out of love. What made you choose divorce as your theme?

I wanted to write a story that took place after most fics end--Edward and Bella finally getting married. I don't know if I would say Wild Swan is a "falling out of love" story, rather more of a "taking love for granted" story. The whole idea came to me as I was thinking about how even being married to Edward Cullen could get stale if the relationship wasn't made a priority. While the divorce has been the focus so far in this story, it really is just a plot device I had to use to get Bella and Edward into positions where they could discover who they really were outside of this contrived environment they had created--a true gilded cage. I am in no way trying to bash young love, nor am I saying it can't work long-term, but if placed in "real life" this is one way how the story could play out. Plus I wanted to do something totally different than what had been done before (at least I don't know of any other stories like this one).

2. Self-Discovery plays a major part in your fic. Is any of that from personal experience?

I've never been divorced, but I did have a major break-up that made me reevaluate what I wanted out of life. I didn't have the resources Bella and Edward do, so there was no traveling the world for me, more like bottles of Two Buck Chuck and wicked Scrabble games with my bffs, but yeah, I had to figure out what I was continuing to do that was making me miserable and what I wanted my life to look like moving forward. My Bella isn't a Mary Sue, by any means. I'm WAY TOO Type-A and aggressive to be as meek as she was in her relationship with Edward and her current behavior is actually hard for me to write because I'm generally more of a "close the book, I'm done" kind of girl.

3. Have you had any backlash from the hardcore Bella/Edward fans?

I wouldn't call it backlash...yet. I have a lot of nervous readers though. Most tell me they have faith in me after some reassurance that I'm an E&B shipper and are hanging tough, but my characters are in their early 30's and divorced. I'm going for realism, so some things are going to be introduced that might make some people upset. I'm prepared for some backlash, and while I don't want hate mail or nasty reviews, I plan on writing my story the way I see it. I've been told by writers I admire that they cannot read this story because of the subject matter and I totally respect that, as I would any reader who feels the same. I really hope I'm shown the same respect when I write something people might not be happy with. I don't mind constructive criticism, but there is no excuse for readers to say purposely mean things to authors. Sorry if that sounds a little too PSA, but I've heard stories of things like that, and it confounds me how someone can justify being cruel to an author over something such as a fanfic story.

4. What about Twilight made you want to tell this story in this fandom?

Because this fandom is so incredibly pliable. Honestly, the characters that SM gave us to play with allow for so many possibilities. You have every personality type at your disposal, plus there is enough leeway in the character's personalities to tweak things to fit a story (i.e. Rosalie can still be a bitch in my story, but she's Bella's best friend and as such, canon Rosalie's deep sense of loyalty is now placed in Bella instead of protecting the family, and "Bitchesme," as some have taken to calling her, has turned her "mothering" instincts into something completely demented, yet she feels she's doing what's best for her family, which is what canon Esme does.

5. Have you written for any other fandoms or in your real life?

I started reading fanfic a little over a year ago in the Friday Night Lights fandom. Random, right? I'm a Taylor Kitsch fan and fell in love with the idea of Tim Riggins and Julie Taylor as a couple so I wrote two "Tulie" fics. I've never written anything for my private life, but would at least like to try to bang a novel out before I die.

6. What's the details behind your pen name?

I'm a wanton woman! Kidding - I had to think of one and I thought it would be a cool play on the phrase.

7. Tell us anything about yourself that the majority of fandom doesn't know - anything at all!

Reading the Saga and finding fanfiction brought me back to life. That might sound kind of odd, but I was in desperate need to find something for myself after having moved to the suburbs and having a baby. I had lost my identity and connecting to the wonderful women who join me in my love of Twilight and fan fiction has been life changing. I've met some of the best women I have ever known and continue to "meet" great ladies through my story. I'll forever be grateful to SM for what she started when she gave us the Saga and to my friend Adele who bullied me into reading Twilight when I told her I had no interest in some "teeny bopper vampire book"!

Guest FicRec: Elitist Recs Eighties Fic

Lion_In_The_Land
Add It Up - M/R
AU Human
34 Chapters, 108, 377 Words
01/29/2009 - Completed
[ Twilighted ]

Bella and the gang are undergrads at Central Illinois University in the late nineteen-eighties. Follow Bella as she makes her way through romances with Edward, Jasper, and Emmett while trying to maintain her virtue (trying being the operative word). So, which one will be the one – Edward, the sensitive loner, Jasper, the ridiculously gorgeous punker, or Emmett, the nearly perfect fraternity guy?

FateOfGabriel's

Stop. Before you do anything else, perhaps visit the ITunes store (or some slightly less legal music site) and consider the following playlist:

“Add It Up” Violent Femmes, “One Love” Bob Marley & the Wailers, “Shadow Play” Joy Division, “Tainted Love” Soft Cell, “Boys Don’t Cry” The Cure, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” Cyndi Lauper, “Tricky” Run D.M.C., “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” Wang Chung, “Bad Reputation” Joan Jett, “Lips Like Sugar” Echo and the Bunnymen, “Teenage Labotomy” The Ramones, “I Melt with You” Modern English, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?" The Clash, “Cool for Cats” Squeeze, “You Shook Me All Night Long” AC/DC, “Holding Out for a Hero” Bonnie Tyler, “Paradise by Dashboard Light” Meatloaf, “Red Red Wine” UB40, “I’m a Believer” The Monkees, “No One is to Blame” Howard Jones, “People are Strange” Echo and the Bunnymen, “Lean on Me” Club Noveau, “Superman” R.E.M., “The One Thing” INXS

Does this list make you want to find your Rubik’s cube, slip on your jellies, and jam out to the days of summer or what?

Above all other reasons, the reason I chose Add It Up is that the time period is beyond fitting for our favorite bunch of Cullens, without being too intrusive to their characters. You might be tempted to believe that a story set in such a raucous decade would take over the story, but the author’s careful balance of character and cultural milieu hits a sweet, amusing note that makes me smile and nod my head in reminiscence of days gone by. For whatever reason, it isn’t hard to see the gang as young adults in the 80’s, and in my head, Edward absolutely rocks a Flock of Seagulls haircut.

But the heart of this story is in how well Lila (Lion_In_The_Land) manages to express the college atmosphere of constant change and evolution in a decade that is truly all about evolving. Her Bella is calmly analytical and charmingly practical as she tries on various personalities and beliefs, while questing to find a place in which she can comfortably exist and still experiment. And as she changes her hair and clothes, she also tries on different types of boyfriends.

This brings me to my absolute favorite part of this story. The characterizations of Emmett, Jasper, and Edward respectively are mind-blowingly different, all while being insanely attractive and edged in the hints of different eras of the 80’s: Jasper, the dirty, deliciously aloof punk bad boy is every girl’s secret fantasy, Edward, the forward-thinking, alternative innovator, and “Big E”, is the mainstream All-American boy who is basically Jake Ryan, except with Kellan’s body (swoon). This Emmett is my favorite incarnation of Emmett to date, and that is unlikely to change. Throughout the story I simply cannot choose who I want Bella to end up with the characters are so well-written and yet so believably flawed, just as Bella herself trips over some of her preconceptions and hang-ups. The author allows Bella to stumble and find her feet repeatedly, showing rather than telling her audience that in the end it is the way we hold ourselves accountable that makes the difference and adds up to the person you eventually become.

Other highlights include chemistry between Bella and Edward that is seductive, mature and wherein Bella holds Edward accountable for his actions, despite his innate ability to be the person in the story who takes your breath away with his dedication, thoughtfulness, and just general dreaminess. Also, an extremely realistic characterization of Jessica, Angela, and other lesser characters from Twilight that are not in any way stereotyped, and portray the often uneven balance of females friends true to form. And finally, saving the best for last, Bella is determined NOT to orgasm with anyone other than the man who will be her husband; which is probably the greatest twist on smut that has ever existed, considering Edward is her first lover.

So take a little time to sit in the sun, turn on the tunes, and rewind the VCR back a few years to experience the amazing-ness that is this story. Lila told me she’s going to be getting back into writing and I am eagerly awaiting her next venture into the world of Twilight. But until that happens, I’m going to carry my boom box over one shoulder, stack and curl my bangs, and remember all the good times.

---

FateofGabriel is the author of the amazingly twisted fic, The Elite. If she isn't winning us all over with her Alice, then she is most definitely coming up with some other machination to entrance us with.

GuestFicRec: FoG Does Some Math for You

Lion_In_The_Land
Add It Up - M/R
AU Human
34 Chapters, 108, 377 Words
01/29/2009 - Completed
[ Twilighted ]

Bella and the gang are undergrads at Central Illinois University in the late nineteen-eighties. Follow Bella as she makes her way through romances with Edward, Jasper, and Emmett while trying to maintain her virtue. Which one will be the one?

FateOfGabriel's

Stop. Before you do anything else, perhaps visit the ITunes store (or some slightly less legal music site) and consider the following playlist:



“Add It Up” Violent Femmes, “One Love” Bob Marley & the Wailers, “Shadow Play” Joy Division, “Tainted Love” Soft Cell, “Boys Don’t Cry” The Cure, “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” Cyndi Lauper, “Tricky” Run D.M.C., “Everybody Have Fun Tonight” Wang Chung, “Bad Reputation” Joan Jett, “Lips Like Sugar” Echo and the Bunnymen, “Teenage Labotomy” The Ramones, “I Melt with You” Modern English, “Should I Stay or Should I Go?" The Clash, “Cool for Cats” Squeeze, “You Shook Me All Night Long” AC/DC, “Holding Out for a Hero” Bonnie Tyler, “Paradise by Dashboard Light” Meatloaf, “Red Red Wine” UB40, “I’m a Believer” The Monkees, “No One is to Blame” Howard Jones, “People are Strange” Echo and the Bunnymen, “Lean on Me” Club Noveau, “Superman” R.E.M., “The One Thing” INXS



Does this list make you want to find your Rubik’s cube, slip on your jellies, and jam out to the days of summer or what?



Above all other reasons, the reason I chose Add It Up is that the time period is beyond fitting for our favorite bunch of Cullens, without being too intrusive to their characters. You might be tempted to believe that a story set in such a raucous decade would take over the story, but the author’s careful balance of character and cultural milieu hits a sweet, amusing note that makes me smile and nod my head in reminiscence of days gone by. For whatever reason, it isn’t hard to see the gang as young adults in the 80’s, and in my head, Edward absolutely rocks a Flock of Seagulls haircut.



But the heart of this story is in how well Lila (Lion_In_The_Land) manages to express the college atmosphere of constant change and evolution in a decade that is truly all about evolving. Her Bella is calmly analytical and charmingly practical as she tries on various personalities and beliefs, while questing to find a place in which she can comfortably exist and still experiment. And as she changes her hair and clothes, she also tries on different types of boyfriends.



This brings me to my absolute favorite part of this story. The characterizations of Emmett, Jasper, and Edward respectively are mind-blowingly different, all while being insanely attractive and edged in the hints of different eras of the 80’s: Jasper, the dirty, deliciously aloof punk bad boy is every girl’s secret fantasy, Edward, the forward-thinking, alternative innovator, and “Big E”, is the mainstream All-American boy who is basically Jake Ryan, except with Kellan’s body (swoon). This Emmett is my favorite incarnation of Emmett to date, and that is unlikely to change. Throughout the story I simply cannot choose who I want Bella to end up with the characters are so well-written and yet so believably flawed, just as Bella herself trips over some of her preconceptions and hang-ups. The author allows Bella to stumble and find her feet repeatedly, showing rather than telling her audience that in the end it is the way we hold ourselves accountable that makes the difference and adds up to the person you eventually become.



Other highlights include chemistry between Bella and Edward that is seductive, mature and wherein Bella holds Edward accountable for his actions, despite his innate ability to be the person in the story who takes your breath away with his dedication, thoughtfulness, and just general dreaminess. Also, an extremely realistic characterization of Jessica, Angela, and other lesser characters from Twilight that are not in any way stereotyped, and portray the often uneven balance of females friends true to form. And finally, saving the best for last, Bella is determined NOT to orgasm with anyone other than the man who will be her husband; which is probably the greatest twist on smut that has ever existed, considering Edward is her first lover.



So take a little time to sit in the sun, turn on the tunes, and rewind the VCR back a few years to experience the amazing-ness that is this story. Lila told me she’s going to be getting back into writing and I am eagerly awaiting her next venture into the world of Twilight. But until that happens, I’m going to carry my boom box over one shoulder, stack and curl my bangs, and remember all the good times.

---

FateofGabriel is the author of the amazingly twisted fic, The Elite. If she isn't winning us all over with her Alice, then she is most definitely coming up with some other machination to entrance us with.

Series: BDSM - Brainy & Discerning Smut Mastery

Welcome to the first installment of a three part series deconstructing BDSM in FanFiction. A very awesome and well respected author recently came to us with a request to explore the subject and new trend. So Smellyia, Tricia and I all looked at each other and said the first thing that naturally came to mind:

"Not it!"

Well, I got it. Or... not really. The truth is... I don't write BDSM. I read a little, but not because it's BDSM. If I'm reading a fic it's because it's slash or a really good E/B. The BDSM aspect is really not the reason I seek it out. Suffice to say, I'm no expert on the subject. Not by any stretch.

Lucky for us, we just happen to possess the tools necessary to harass those who are.

Our panel for this installment includes the following, lovely Mistresses:

• MsKathy

  , Author of

  Yes Mistress

• DefinatelyStaying

  , Author of

  The Forbidden Room

  and

  A House of Cards

• Tara sue me

  , Author of

  The Submissive

  and

  The Dominant

• Kittenmischief

  , Author of

  Dark Salvation

• Erinmiyu

  , Author of

  The Anti Pleasure Dissertation

They all motherfucking win. So... after a few cute baby drama llamas, a couple requests, a lot of emails, five chat prompts, three outlines, my entire night in Photoshop, and a hundred or so questions... I think we're ready to get all kinds of Dommie up in this bitch.

---

Part 1: WTF is a BDSM

(OMG, acronyms make me die ded...)

Okay, someone needs to explain this to me this, PLEASE. What the HELL does BDSM stand for? There are too many potential "D" and "S" and "M" words here. While you're at it...

Why don't you tell me what BDSM means to you in particular?

Mistress DefinatelyStaying

The acronym BDSM is a hybrid of: Bondage/Discipline Bondage/Domination Domination/Submission Sadism/Masochism Really, it’s a catch-all for anything that society considers deviant in relation to bondage and/or pain. What does it mean to me? In a word – freedom. It allows me to escape and explore a place of fantasy and sexual gratification without fear of judgment or emotional burden.

Mistress Tara sue me

I am in no position to tell you what D/s and BDSM are. I am, however, in a position to tell you what D/s and BDSM are not: - Kidnapping and/or raping a person is not and NEVER WILL BE D/s or BDSM. It is illegal, heinous, and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. Bottom line. Don’t even think about arguing with me. Calling a person ‘my pet’ does not make them your sub, nor does it make you a Dom. Being a Dom is not about lording over someone or beating them up. Being a sub is not about being a doormat and doing anything the Dom says. A Dom does not have to right to do ANYTHING he/she wants. A sub does not have to take EVERYTHING the Dom dishes out.

Mistresses Kittenmischief

Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, Masochism. To me it is more than just a kink, it has flowed in and out of our lifestyle, mostly out now that we have children. "Daddy, why is Mommy all tied up," just isn't a question we want to deal with should a four year old wander into our room. It involves restraint, both physical and mental, readjusting the flow of power between two or more individuals, and can involve pain but does not have to. Done right, it is a beautiful dance between the participants, done poorly it can be damaging to all involved.

Thanks for clearing that up for me ladies. I am nothing if not constantly ignorant about acronyms.

---

Part 2: Why BDSM anyways?

What's wrong with some plain ole smut?

There is no doubt that BDSM is a complex subject to explore. I mean, look at me. Posting this all hours late because I underestimated the complications. Anyways, to the mistresses joining us today...

Why write BDSM? Why not something else?

Mistresses Kittenmischief

We both write about a lot of other subjects, this was just the one we chose for our co-authored piece. Dark Salvation is a hard piece to write as there are so many emotional ups and downs to the story. By the time we're done writing, we feel as if we've been on a rollercoaster for however many hours we put into a chapter. But, at the same time, it gives us both a chance to delve into areas that in mainstream fic are normally off-limits. (Don't tell my erotica bookshelf that, it will feel like the odd one out.)

OMG, I'm so calling your erotica bookshelf, like... ten minutes ago. She says you are FAIL.

Mistress DefinatelyStaying

Some people are enticed by a romantic candle light dinner… Some people like to don a silk robe and give a sensual massage… Me? I like to use the silk robe tie, the dinner table, and the candles to a different purpose. I write about those types of relationships and experiences because that’s what I’m into. The first thing they tell you in any kind of writing course is write what you know, write what you’re passionate about. This is what I’m passionate about.

Mistress Erinmiyu

I enjoy writing about it because i think there is a general misconception of what it is. Not all aspects of it are regimented, rigid. There seems to be a consensus of people who claim "Oh I won't read BDSM fic... it's not for me"--and that's fine, it's not for everyone, but I think it is disregarded that there may be aspects, watered down or not, they write in fic that do fall under this genre.

That's great...

but I also wanted to know if people read BDSM. I did an anonymous reader survey to see what readers thought of BDSM and about reading it. I pulled from a group that I didn't know well enough to dicscern whether or not they were frequenters of the genre. Here's what they had to say.

• I have read a few stories, it is not a genre I usually seek out but after seeing the influx of BDSM stories I decided to check them out. I was also interested in whether twific would explore what I felt was the most intriguing aspect of that lifestyle, the psychology and dynamics behind it. What I found was that there seem to be many different takes on D/s on the stories out there. Some are focusing more on the physical aspect while others explore the full relationship
• I like smut, like just about everyone else, and enjoy seeing the different perspectives of the scene that others bring to the table.
• I was a bit hesitant to read it at first because I don't know a lot about the BDSM lifestyle and I sort of envisioned Pulp Fiction (you know - bring out the gimp) any time I thought about the genre. However I try to be open minded and learn more about something before I dismiss it completely and so The Submissive seemed to be a good toe in the water because it was such a popular story. As I read it, I sort of thought Edward was a very lenient Domward, he sort of let her get away with much more than I imagined a dom would be (you learn later why this was of course). The sex was undeniably hot and I enjoyed the evolotuion of the plot as well, it was more than just porn-without-plot.

Thank you for your honesty, folks.

---

Part 3: Putting it in FanFiction

What makes it work?

Now, I realize that BDSM is intriguing. In fact, I'm fairly certain that since the trend got big, Home Depot is seeing a rapid rise in rope and pulley fixtures. That's all good.

But how does it translate, and most importantly, why is FF a good venue for it?

Mistress MsKathy

I personally enjoy BDSM in fic best when it is done elegantly and intelligently. I think this is a good venue to do so because it's a natural place to discuss variations on themes -- that's what we're all doing with fic, right? Also, I think people have an easier time reading something 'alternative' than, say, watching a movie or having an in-person discussion about it.

I tried having an in-person discussion about it once.

My grandma never calls me anymore...

Mistresses Kittenmischief

I think the dominance struggle and the submissive's giving up the reins of his/her control yet ultimately being the one holding all the power is what shows the best. In fic, the reader has a safe way to experience the BDSM "scene" without any repercussions. If spanking happens to be what gets you off, yet you are too shy/embarrassed to ask your partner to do it, you can read about it. Perhaps leaving the fic around or reading it together can help get your unexpressed needs met.

You mean you can't just email him from downstairs and say "Some really kinky shit in 10?"

Mistress DefinatelyStaying

I find that BDSM is best translated in an AH/AU story by an author who is passionate about the subject. One of the characteristics of this type of play is vulnerability. That isn’t very realistic in all vampire fiction. I think it can be done, but AH is more reasonable. The fic is best done by someone passionate about the subject because they will take the time to research and provide a reasonable portrayal of the relationships involved. Tying hubby to the bed and having your way with him is one thing, but to get into a committed relationship with a Dom/me or sub can be dangerous if you’re not careful. For example – you should never do any kind of scene or play with someone that you don’t trust, and have confidence in – and don’t ever play without a safe word.

My Reader Focus Group

was asked what place they believe BDSM has in the Twilight fandom. I wanted to know if anyone turned their noses up and got all prudish, but... shockingly, no one really did. Maybe this is because we have all come to terms with the fact we're a fandom of total fucking perverts. Which is a good thing. Honestly.

• I believe that there is definitely a place in the fandom for BDSM related stories, as they fill a need, and obviously have a following of fans. I think this genre will only continue to grow in the fandom and as long as authors remember their responsibility to their readers by providing accurate information, warnings and disclaimers, this can only be a good thing.
• I think there's room for all perspectives in the fandom, from K+ sweet romance to slash to BDSM. What I don't think there is room for are the fics that take these characters we've grown to know and love and put them into abhorrent roles of rapists, abusers, slave traders... if that's your kink, then maybe a therapist is a better idea than writing fic. I know there's been some controversy about rape in fic... Just One of the Guys, for instance. But there is a HUGE difference between showing a character recovering from that experience and portraying that experience as smut. Rape is definitely an experience that happens in reality. But Bella isn't going to fall in love with rapist Edward. It's just... reprehensible.
• As long as this activity is consensual between all parties if being portrayed as titillating, I have no issue with it being part of the fandom - I actually welcome it because I've enjoyed quite a few stories that highlight the BDSM lifestyle.

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Part 4: The Impact

Are We Just Really Depraved?

So, it goes without saying that BDSM isn't for everyone. But no one can possibly deny the recent explosion in fics exploring the theme as of late. More importantly, some people are putting the name "BDSM" to stories which aren't really BDSM. This gives readers a false impression and makes them want to NOT ever return to the genre. Sooo lovely mistresses...

What would you say to the people who believe the new trend of BDSM fics has pushed the fandom to new depths of 'supposed depravity'?

Mistress DefinatelyStaying

Depravity is a relative and subjective term. In our lifetime, it was considered the height of depravity for unmarried couples to have any kind of sexual contact. In other cultures, a woman speaking with a man to whom she is not related is considered depravity. The expression of love and devotion between two consenting adults who happen to be of the same gender is still considered depravity by some. To those who find my work, or similar works ‘depravity’, I would say that Microsoft, Mozilla, and even Google and Apple have put an ingenious little device in their latest cutting edge browsers. All the way up in the right hand corner of any browser – you will find a close button. No one is going to tie you up and force you to read it.

Nice choice of words there, DS. And I don't even think it was intentionally pun-ny... Get it? Punny, funny, like a play on... *chirping crickets* ~taps microphone~ Is this thing on?

Mistresses Kittenmischief

If they (those thinking we're heading into depravity) don't like it, they don't have to read it. I promise I'm not behind them, tying them to the chair,forcing them to read Dark Salvation, and then give me a book report. Even if it wasn't in print, it was still in the authors' minds, we're just sharing our gift of writing with the masses. The Erotica fic market for at least the past ten years (that I've been legal to go shop for it) has been full of BDSM stories. It was no surprise that fanfic has some as well. Reading a story is not going to corrupt your actions, no matter what you're told. If someone likes to read about BDSM, s/he most likely already had that tendency, but this was the first experience s/he had with the lifestyle. Of course, I'm also a bi-poly-pagan so I'm used to being a source of corruption. Adding BDSM to my list is just the icing on the naughty kitty cake.

Mistress MsKathy

I'd probably agree. There's a difference between tactfully being kinky and using a kink as an excuse for abuse. I'm as big of a perv as the next gal, but there is a fine line of depravity where it is done simply for the sake of being depraved. I personally don't get off on the "dirty" aspect of acts -- the shame of it, that's not for me. I want to feel good and happy about what I chose to do, so I tend to avoid fics that are shocking/shameful in an attempt to stimulate me BECAUSE of that shame/dirty-ness.

But, you're the authors...

and the readers might have something different to say. Cue the... Thank God this was anon sigh of relief. So my loyal readers... Would you agree with the people who believe the new trend of BDSM fics has pushed the fandom to new depths of 'supposed depravity'?

• When reading fiction, there is one thing the reader must always remember…if you do not like it, do not read it. Browsers are easily closed, favorites easily removed and alerts easily deleted. To me, depravity is a subjective term. What one reader considers depravity can be vastly different from what another might.I might get squeamish about a certain relationship pairing and not continue with a story, but I can read, and enjoy, Jasper getting whipped by Edward. Twisted? Yes. Definitely. But to me, the relationship pairing is more bothersome than the whipping. Go figure.
• Yes and no. Most BDSM fics that are out there are, for the most part, not depraved. The success of The Submissive/The Dominant is testament to that; the fics are popular enough to have "crossed over" into the general audience for fandom. That said, however, there ARE writers who see the success of fics like that or The Forbidden Room, and think that it's all about pushing the envelope to get readers in. It's resulted in a new trend of rape/abuse fics that have absolutely NOTHING to do with the reality of BDSM and everything to do with trying to push it over the top in an attempt to get readers from the controversy.
• whatever....we all live RL every day...fanfic, smut, and BDSM smut is a fun escape....so to those ppl I would say "shut the hell up...if you don't like...don't read!"....and as for BDSM....I personally am very glad for the trend...it has opened my mind up to something I wasn't aware of before, and I always love when that happens!

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Part 5: The Real Lifers

Are you writing what you know here?

The most common question I got asked by readers while doing this is... do they have real experience? Well, that seems natural to me. I was actually really nervous about asking people something so personal. I don't even like readers knowing the initials of my real name. Surprisingly, they were very forthcoming, and even though I offered anonymity, no one requested it.

Do you have any Real Life experiences with the lifestyle, and if so, how do they transfer over to your craft?

Mistress Kittenmischief

Yes, I do. I've dabbled in it and I have two friends who are Doms in their real lives. As with our story, I also have experience with Shibari, and tried to highlight pieces of that into our story. While Dark Salvation has BDSM themes and the main characters are a Dom and his Submissives, it is not a D/S story by any means. It is a story about how love can hold us together in the face of a destructive inner darkness.

Mistress MsKathy

I do have Real Life (tm) experience. How does it transfer? In every single word I write. I've played with one-time partners, been in a committed/collared relationship and everything between. I've been a part of an active in-person social group and talked to countless people about every aspect of BDSM. I was fortunate enough to be a participant in a 10-month program where I was mentored by some of the most knowledgable people I've ever met on detailed BDSM-themed subjects, for which I will forever be grateful. I've been to play parties, I've met 'professional' Dommes.

Mistress DefinatelyStaying

I have been a sub since my early 20’s. In the strictest sense of the word, I am a switch – but my preference, what satisfies me most, is to sub for a male Dom. I got into the lifestyle as a lot of people do – by association with someone already actively pursuing it. My experiences and my imagination translate almost directly into my stories. For example, in The Forbidden Room, I have worked with a lot of the equipment that I describe in the story – just not in a male/male session. Though, most of the work done with Bella in those scenes is directly from my experience. For example – a custom padded sawhorse was made for me (to my exact height, etc.) at one point in my role as a submissive. The smaller equipment that you see in the House of Cards banner is actually mine.

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Part 6: The Good, The Bad, and The Squicky

Why you be writin' rape fics?

I know I usually refuse to talk about my own experiences with my story, but I can't help it this time. People sometimes group my story as a rape/abuse fic. This drives me insane, seeing as how there are no mentions of rape or prolonged abuse in the story. Somehow... dark past = abuse, and sex fear = rape. Well, it isn't.

A lot of people fear the rapefic. It can be done tastefully, ngl. But... some people get false impressions from wrong fics out there who label themselves BDSM. This is one thing we know about.

Mistresses,

Do you see any startling trends in BDSM fics that bother you?

Mistress Erinmiyu

YES. YES. YES. This is exactly why I wanted to write this fic. There are three trends that seem present: first, passing off abuse or rape as BDSM. It is disrespectful and uninformed to write either of these situations as such. I take no issue with someone writing a rape fantasy fic, but call it what it is: rape/abuse fantasy, not BDSM. On that note, there is a great deal of humiliation play I see (amongst casual play and in LTR), far more than I think is statistically realistic--if we actually had stats about this, I mean! (by humiliation play, I am referring to those in the submissive role being called derogatory terms, i.e. "slut" or "whore", which is something I personally would never agree to) The second trend I see is more of a Total Power Exchange, or more of a Master/slave relationship than Dominant/submissive. M/s relationships definitely exist, but they are more of the minority than majority. In fic it seems the opposite, that they dominate (har har) the genre, showing Edward in total control. It doesn't even seem like a negotiation of terms anymore, it is more him saying "these are things you are required to do, if you don't like these terms then we aren't entering into an arrangement." Where's Bella's say? Dominant does not mean domineering, nor does submissive mean mute. And thirdly, I see the relationships being cut-off from real life emotions. I am not saying that it isn't possible to separate emotions from sexual experiences, but I think in real life it's very difficult, regarding the level of trust and understanding needed for this type of relationship.

Mistress MsKathy

Yes, I'm really sick and tired of seeing BDSM as a cover for abuse. In my opinion, BDSM requires the deepest level of trust and respect; anything that blooms from abuse therefor inherently cannot fall under the BDSM umbrella for me. No relationship based on reality is ideal, but if you're starting a BDSM relationship with kidnapping, rape, drugging, anything OTHER than clear and coherent consent, it's not BDSM - it's abuse. It also frustrates me because people who might have an open mind read these stories inaccurately tagged as BDSM and then tag ALL stories as depraved/abusive and never give the genre another chance.

Mistress DefinatelyStaying

There are two things that I have seen in the stories I’ve read, I don’t know that I would call them trends, but they concern me nonetheless. The primary message that you will see if you delve at all into responsible BDSM is “safe, sane, and consensual”. The first thing that I have found is the lack of a proper safe word in a committed relationship, or making the sub afraid to use the safe word for fear of reprisal. The second thing that I’ve seen is abuse under the guise of BDSM. A BDSM relationship is one based on trust and mutual sexual gratification – not one person getting off at the expense of another. Stories that include rape, incest, violence, or torture are not something that I would consider responsible BDSM and give people a false impression of what a real relationship is like. I’m not necessarily condemning those stories en masse, only their mislabeling.

Readers?

Rant to your hearts' content. Bad trends. Go.

• I am bothered by the amount of fics that are done purely for shock value. To get reviews or attract attention. It seems to me that any lifestyle that people explore and engage in should be treated with respect. Respect requires research and doing the topic justice.
• Rapefics are a hard limit for me. I will drop the story faster than I can say turpentine if I feel like it crosses into the non-consentual territory. Sexual abuse is not and never will be titalating.
• What I don't like are the fics that encourage the mindset that everyone involved in the scene is psychologically damaged, incapable of being in a loving relationship, abusive, or dishonest. It furthers stereotypes about people who ARE in the scene and perpetuates the myth that BDSM is all about pain and abuse and not a trust relationship where people can indulge their particular kink. Fics that misuse the idea of safewords, don't encourage care for both partners, involve lying to people, etc. really just drive me nuts.

Mistresses...

it can't all be a crapshoot.

What are some positive trends in BDSM?

Mistresses Kittenmischief

Honestly, the only thing I've seen that has carried over is that the Sub in most fics was sexually unadventurous and learned that there are many wonderful positions and activities that can be done. The positive trend I have seen is that BDSM stories are helping to remove the "shock value" that BDSM holds to the public. We once had a reader send us a PM that she found out a friend of hers was a Domme and was not as "freaked out" by the news than she may have been before reading our story.

Mistress DefinatelyStaying

The trend that I have to say that I am most happy to see is not so much in the fics, but in the readers of those fics. I have found that through some of these stories people are becoming more adventurous, more willing to experiment with their partners. I am thrilled that my work helps other people find new and exciting sexual experiences by opening the door to something they have never considered. These stories show them that there is a whole different side to the lifestyle than is generally portrayed.

Mistress MsKathy

I find the trend of simply talking/reading about it to be positive. Very mild portrayals like The Submissive/Dominant garnered a lot of attention and pulled in many people who identify as vanilla because of the relatability to the characters. Edward isn't over the top, Bella isn't a complete dishrag.

Readers?

What do you like about BDSM fics? Gimme positivity!

• I enjoy the fact that these characters get to live a lifestyle that I find fascinating, that they are, essentially, living out a fantasy for some readers. This can be highly satisfying in a few ways. For those not able to seek this lifestyle out in real life, these stories are a chance to live it, to be voyeurs, through characters they love. To date, I have not experienced many aspects bother me, per say. I do hope that all D/s related stories portray healthy, willing submissive who are respected by their Dom/me, that safe words are explained, used correctly and for the right reasons.
• The aspect I enjoy is reading about a lifestyle so very different from mine. I have only found one story that I think delve into the aspect that I find the most intriguing of the trend. I wish there were more that explore the dynamic and power play that seems to be at the heart of bdsm.
• I'm going to just say it. I have a thing for a Dirty Talking Edward. These fics - because of the nature of BDSM - almost always has a DTE. His dirty talk in the fics I've read just never disappoints. I may not understand all of the equipment or the positioning (thank goodness I know how to clear my cache because my husband may be wondering about some of my google searches otherwise), but when Edward opens up that dirty mouth, I'm sold. Whenever I think of DTE, the BDSM fics always come to mind first.

Well, DTE always wins. Let's be real here...

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Part 7: Pairings

Why the m/m?

I wanted to explore the pairings commonly used and why. We all realize that canon Edward has a little domination in him. This, in and of itself, totally justifies BDSM's appearance in fic, imho. But what about the others? Domsper? Slash? C/Em? Alice as a Domme?

What's with the pairing, Mistresses?

Why is slash so prevalent in BDSM ficery? Are the pairings important?

Mistress Tara sue me

I think yes, they are part of the BDSM dynamic and important. Without Chapter 10 of The Submissive, Bella and Edward could be seen as two lovers. It was at Chapter 10 that most readers, thought, ‘whoa, there’s more here going on than I realized.’

Mistress Erinmiyu

I don't think shippings are important, but the book lends itself to an Edward/Bella total power exchange D/s relationship. I know you are shaking your head going, "huh?" but when you think about it, Edward tried to control so many aspects of Bella's existence: who she saw (re: Jacob), what she ate (telling her to eat more at Bella Italia), where she went (disabling her truck so she had no mode of transportation), etc. These are NOT good examples of BDSM, because I find these are control issues in a domineering relationship, but they do show tendencies of him being Dominant vs. her being submissive.

Mistresses Kittenmischief

Shippings are not important as long as the story is well-written. Honestly, I think Alice as the Domme would just be hotter than hell. I'd love to see her get Emmett down on his knees. *Adds to my one-shot list for future writing* I feel that the most common slash pairing - Jasper/Edward themed story is popular because it gives a reason for previously straight canon characters to become sexually involved with the other. The Dom in our story, Jasper, has subs of both genders, although the one he falls in love with is Edward. I can't say that I blame him.

Ummm, no. Me either.

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Part 8: Readers Get Real

Sensationalism = Reviews?

Look, I can't honestly explore this topic without regarding the fact that well-written hardcore smut gets the quick reviews in this fandom. It's like the elephant in the room, so hate all you'd like, but you know you're thinking it. It isn't resevered for BDSM of course. It's my opinion that this is true for all WELL-WRITTEN hardcore smut. That is important.

While I'd love to crack some numbers and get some real-time stats to back this up as factual, the best I can do is take reader opinions. Of course the authors would say they don't write smut just to get reviews. That's an ignorant accusation. Too much investment goes into writing a story to even assume this is their primary motivation.

But... I wanna know what the readers think. So...

Do you ever feel as though the sensationalizing of the BDSM subject can get a story more attention?

• I think that like every other trend that has passed through the fandom, BDSM is getting a lot of attention. Like everything the "shock" stories get a lot of attention, I think they do a disservice to any trend they "represent".
• I definitely think so. It gets people talking. The idea of characters who were virgins being reincarnated as players in a scene involving floggers and leather and restraints is titillating, and also ripe for debate. It definitely brings attention.
• For me personally? No. I wont just read a fic simply because it is BDSM - I don't actively search them out. I will read it if people whose opinion I respect have recommended it to me or if it is written by an author whose prior works I have enjoyed. For the fandom as a whole? I am on the fence. I haven't yet figured out the rhyme or reason of why certain genres become popular or certain stories seem to take off. I do know I am sure that there are many people who will not read a BDSM fic because they just don't find it appealing, regardless of how highly it is recommended. I would also assume that the converse is true, people who enjoy the BDSM subject matter above other subject matters will seek it out.

There is, admittedly, a pretty divded view on this. The fans of BDSM say no, while the more moderate readers usually say yes.

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Part 9: Why is Domward so Hot?

So, if well-written, hardcore smut and BDSM get a lot of attention, no one can deny that it's likely because Domward/Domsper is pretty fucking hot.

Why is this so, Mistresses?

Mistress MsKathy

Everyone appreciates a confident sexual partner. Someone who knows what they want and isn't afraid to ask for it. In my head, he's so sexy because a good Dom is also someone that cares about meeting their sub's needs and desires, and who doesn't want to participate in an exchange of that sort of power and pleasure?

Mistress DefinatelyStaying

I don’t think it’s specifically Domward. I think that Domsper is just as sexy. In that same line of reasoning, I think that Domlisle or Dommet (heh) can be just as sexy if written in the right way. To me the appeal is in their Dominance, not necessarily their overall character.

Mistress Tara sue me

We’re all fans of Edward Cullen. We already know and love him, so, in our imagination, nothing’s hotter than having Edward Cullen tie us up and do wicked things to us...or... Bella. I meant tie Bella up and do wicked things to her.

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Part 10: Recommended By the Best

What do you suggest we read?

In conclusion, I asked our lovely Mistresses what stories they recommend that involve the BDSM theme. No one knows good BDSM like the best authors of the genre, so here is what they had to say:

Mistress DefinatelyStaying

The Mistress and Her Master by Nan McCullen was written for the BDSM contest, and she has now expanded it. She expends a lot of time and effort to research the lifestyle in order to give a positive and responsible portrayal of the relationship between her Edward and Bella. Even though it’s very early on in the storyline, this is one that I would watch.

Mistress Erinmiyu

Alpha's Female by swill122 . It's a one-shot, and features a a Dominant Nessie and submissive Jacob! It's a fun read!

Mistress MsKathy

Right now I am really digging on this new story I found called Broken Trust by GoldenPhoenix 12 . Bella was a sub for Jacob, who abused her body and her trust. So far, the story has focused on Jacob and some drama surrounding his release from prison as well as how Bella is coping with his abuse of her. There are cliches, sure, but I think this author perfectly captures a lot of the emotion and psychology behind the people. Edward is a very caring Dom, he checks in with Bella frequently, he gives her choices and treats her as a sub -- not as a slave.

Mistresses Kittenmischief

No, I spend more time writing than reading these days. When I want BDSM, I go for a book on my shelf. Carol Queen's Whipped is a collection of 20 short stories with female Dommes. It is scrumptious.

Thanks for the recs, Mistresses!

This concludes the first Installment of TLYDF's BDSM Deconstruction. Stay tuned for The Second Installment, where we'll explore the psychological facets of the relationships, characterizations, safety, and safewords.

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Thanks to all the authors and readers who participated in this first installment! A big hand of thanks goes out to Mskathy, Nina, and DefinatleyStaying for holding my hand through the outline process and interview questions.

omg I learned the link thingie!

RIP, Michael Jackson.


Good God. Awful. First Johnny’s sidekick. Then an Angel. Now the King O’Pop. I’m listening to “The way you make me feel” as I type this. Check out the affiliate Music Sundays blog for our little tribute to Michael.

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Dearest Uncle of the Dirty Persuasion,

I'm sick of reading fics where Emmett is a brain dead doofus, Alice is a pea-brained shopaholic, Esme is a wallflower, Carlisle is saintly, and Rosalie is a frigid bitch for no reason what so ever. (Am I allowed to say 'bitch' in this?)

Can you give a breakdown of some characteristics and/or link some fics in which they're actually treated with some authorly respect?

Cheers

Adair


Dearest Grey One:


I hear ya. It’s a weird phenomenon, but I get it. Mother SMeyer didn’t really give an awful lot of characterization to the Others Cullen, so people tend to jump on the few things we know about them and… exaggerate.


Kinda like whiney Bellas or stalkery Edwards that you see all over the place.


I apologize that I have not the time to link to any stories, mostly because I’m sadly out-of-date as to what’s au courant in the fic world. I’m guilty of having shopper Alice, but I don’t treat Emmett like a doofus. He couldn’t have a 4.0 and be stupid.


Anyone out there have good suggestions?


-wtvoc

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Dear Most-hilarious-&-talented,

1. Isn't it a good thing to be at the cool table? I'll trade you places if you want. I think you have a nice internet personality-whatever the fuck you were saying. I like you.

2. How do we easily find good quality betas if we're new and dont know no body? Please don't answer telling me to search in the fanfiction main page. I tried that. It's too hard.

3. How did you meet your soulmate Jandco?

4. Do you knit?

Thank you,
B


Dear Bee:


1. Thank you. There’s nothing wrong with being at the “cool table”, but I think a lot of people have odd perceptions as to what that means when it comes to the Twific world. I don't even really know. Sure, I know a lot of people in the fandom. Sure, if I ask for something, people generally respond to whatever it is.

But with all that good stuff… I get a lot of crazy, and a lot of bad. Personal attacks. Emails forwarded about my awful character. It’s odd, hearing about yourself from another’s lips, whether it’s in real life or on the internet. I just do as I do, blissfully unaware that my dry sarcasm just totally offended a small group of people who took what I typed the wrong way or was meant for something else. They start with the “ugh, she’s such a catty bitch”, and before you know it? I get Private Messages that make me feel awful, simply awful. It sucks.

I get it. I do. I’m whining about nothing. But there you have it. I haven’t said this lately, but I’m very glad that so many people respond positively to what I put out there. It’s way bigger than the small portion of the bad.

But… aren’t we all that way, to some extent? Focus on the one bad and simply acknowledge the good?

Ack. Srs bsns. On to the next.

2. For a beta, I’d try one of the many twilight fanfiction-related websites out there. There’s now the Project Team Beta Livejournal community… an excellent, excellent resource. Check it out, it’s one of our affiliates here at the Ficster.


3. We met when small potatoes wtvoc wrote a PM to the great Jandco, inviting her to come play on the thread we started on twilighted.net for Cullen’s Island. Actually, it was a little over a year ago that I first messaged her. Oh, the times we’ve had…


4. Yup. Thank you, Martha Stewart. Your step-by-step instructions showed me how to create long-ass scarves and teeny, tiny baby hats. I wanted to learn because my twins were born super early and there were NO hats out there to accommodate their itty-bitty heads.


-wtvoc

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Dear Favorite Uncle of Mine by Far


Can I pretty please borrow Ginsper? I promise I'll play nice with him and eventually return him to you (if I must). What d'ya say? Would it help if I offered to bribe you with a veritable plethora of Rob photos? I could do that. I have sources.

Oh, and before I forget, the jandco to my you - the lovely and charming Ferzinha - would like to ask if you are, in fact, down with OPP. Well, color me intrigued. Are you?

Thanks for allowing me to pick your always enticing brain for a bit. Would it be weird to call your brain my happy place? :P

- Makkitotosimew


Dear Mekka Lekka Hi Mekka Hiney Ho:


I didn’t include the first half of your message because it didn’t need to be there, but I’ll say this: we would need to read anything before you posted. I’m not opposed to you using Ginsper for a bit, but I’d definitely want to read it first. I know that sounds pompous, but there it is. We’re downright proud of Scotch Jasper. He needs to be handled with care.



And yes, it would help to have photos, but it’s not necessary. People send me pictures of Rob all day.


As for the OPP, jandco and wtvoc have been down before there was ever a song written about it.


-wtvoc

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Dirtiest of Uncles,


Have you ever read the Donald McCaig novel Rhett Butler's People? Someone bought it for me for Christmas and it has been sitting untouched on my bookshelf ever since. I'm terrified to read it. What if it ruins my image of the ultimate southern rogue? Should I take the plunge?

AlwaysHave ~Jenn~


Yassum, Miss Scahlitt:


I, too, have yet to crack open my copy. I bought it at Border’s for four bucks and ninety-nine cents. A steal, to be sure.


I am a HUGE fan of Scarlett O’Hara. I even liked that fanfiction novel that continued Gone with the Wind and loved it.


How about you read yours, I’ll read mine, and we’ll meet somewhere and chat about it. y/y?


-wtvoc

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Dear department of rants and raves (wtvoc)


You may think the purpose of this e-mail is because I'm angling for someone to write a story about a diabetic sheepherding Bella that wears adult diapers and is in to beastiality, but I assure you that is not my intent. Your website seems to be well respected in the fandom and you articles have done a superior job of leading readers and writers down the righteous path. I may be flogged for this because I violated my own advice by using way too many adjectives and I love McD's fries (sugar and all) more than life itself. I guess that makes me a hypocrite.

I'm going to sign off now using a pseudonym. I'm a coward, too.

Sincerely,
The Oracle of Gomorrah
(because Sodom is so 2008)


Dear Oracle of Anti-Anal:


Look, you guys. This was a majorly long missive that I would love to include, but for sake of word count, I just stuck the end in.


This was an amazingly long dictation that I at first couldn’t discern, but I quickly saw your point.


You are tired of reading the same shit over and over again.


Reading “I let out a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding” a thousand times in a handful of fics really is exhausting.


You want quality; that’s why you’re here at this blog.


Thank you for that.


(Anyone who is interested in reading the words of this lovely Oracle, email me at dearwtvoc@gmail.com, and I’ll forward it to you. It’s a doozy, but entertaining)


-wtvoc

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Dear WTVOC,


I am fairly new to fan fiction and have become obsessed. I feel like all I do is read, read, read and read some more. I have several friends from work who have read the Twilight Series, and when they ask me for recommendations I start telling them all about the fantastic fanfics I have read. Many of the fics I recommend are smutarific and I feel as if they think of me differently because of my lemon loving tendencies. I am feeling alone in my obsession/addiction...can you suggest any support groups where I can meet fellow addicts? Should I keep my fanfic faves to myself and steer my friends towards something else?

Thanks!


KSF


Dear Kentucky Sauteed Ficsterian:


Welcome to the light.


You’re definitely not alone. I know not a lot of the articles on this here blog get commented on, but believe me when I tell you, the hits are huge. Seriously. Check out the top right corner there. The people following? It’s over what, 400 now? I don’t even know.


Go google “twilight fanfiction” and see what sites pop up.


I, personally, am actively involved in the following:


This here blog


The Music Sundays Blog


The Eddies and the Bellies, an excellence in fanfiction awards site


Twilighted.net


The Temptation Twilight Podcast as an occasional guest


The livejournal community the Gazebo


The livejournal community ontd_twatlight


And oh yeah, I write some shit, too.


So you’re not alone.


How to feel a part of it? Start posting, man. You can’t get the support you seek if you lurk. Go find a place you like, hang out a bit. Then one day… post. Post like a motherfucker. You’ll find someone out there with your same likes/dislikes, trust me. I’ve made amazing, lasting friendships through this here fanfic thing. Hell, I’m sitting next to an enormous padded envelope that’s going to emibella, and a box that’s going to smellyia. (CONGRATS, SMELLYIA OMG) It’s just… there’s a lot of us out here, and we’re not exclusionary.


Twilighted is a good way to wet your toes. Start there, lemme know what you find.


And if all else fails, email your dirty uncle. I’ll talk to you.


-wtvoc

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Dear "Superwoman" Dirty Uncle:

"Hear me now und believe me later..."

Aside from your multiple occupations, do you work out? I just returned to the gym and I'm in dire need of a Pump-(clap)-You-Up playlist, but not necessarily a la Hans and Franz. What songs would be essential to your work out playlist?

Love,
Fer


Dear Ferfer:


Where were you when emibella and I were coming up with playlists for the Music Sundays blog? That’s a good one.


I like music that has a beat similar to my heartbeat. I know that’s weird, but I find it’s easier to focus on breathing correctly when you have a beat to focus on, know what I mean? Try it out, you’ll see what I'm saying.



Kinda like the reason R&B is often “get it on” music is because it’s set to the beat at which people uhhh thrust, for lack of a better term.


Maybe I should stop.


-wtvoc

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Hai My favorite Dirty Unkie,

I have been stalking you on the El Jay recently, and I am curious about your avatar.

Exactly HOW MANY Rob's peens are there? It is only one avatar, there must be a restricted number of peens it can take!

Toodles!
Lurker of a Narrow Mind x


Dear Lurky McLurkleson:


STOP LURKING


And I assume you mean this:





Dude, that ain’t Rob. It’s David Hasselhoff.

I get a lot of PMs about the hypnotic Hoff!crotch.

Which is, of course, the point.

-wtvoc

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Dear wtvoc,
I've searched and googled my ass off and I can't find the link to the_gazebo community within LJ. Is it private? How can I see it? Do you have an address?

Thanks,
Julie

Dear Jules:

I believe I have the link on my ff.net profile, but just in case:

http://community.livejournal.com/the_gazebo/

Now, a brief bit about this.

The Gazebo is private, but if you have an active livejournal and some friends, and if can get someone to vouch for you, you’ll get in.

And yes, your dirty uncle will vouch for you.

You click “join this community”, and if you PM one of the MODs listed on the homepage with the “I know so-and-so”, you should be okay.

If you’re new to LJ and have no friends and no journal entries… they may not let you in.

There’s been issues with people making socks to come in and stir shit up.

I know, I know. Who has that kind of time?

Anyway, hope to see you there!

(if you dunno what a "sock" is, either guess or email your dirty uncle: dearwtvoc@gmail.com)

-wtvoc

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Dear withthevamps,

If you could have one band or solo artist perform a private show for you (take that however you want, dirty or otherwise) who would it be, and why?

Yours truly,

Agustina

Dear Gussie:

I should like a private piano concerto performed by Beethoven.

Something tells me that man was a tall slice of smoldering unf.

-wtvoc

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Drunkle,

A very important question today. Let's say you are reading a new fic, you are kinda diggin' it - and then - the author pulls out the Avril Lavigne song quote (or Nickelback or Peaches and Herb or Phil Collins, basically insert any recording artist that is intrinsically against your music philosophy). What do you do?

Best,

Katie

Dear Sk8r Gurl:

I laughed a long one after reading this question. Oh, lord but I did.

I am sooo very hesitant to include song titles and artists and lyrics in my fics, so I try to be subtle about it when I do. Hell, I’ve recently revived my fic whose basis is music, and it’s tough.

But what about when you get the banal lyric from an artist you would punch in the face if ever afforded the opportunity? Do you stop reading the fic?

Nah. Try to remember, not everyone has your tastes. Tryyyyy.

I, for example, want to take most country tunes and throw them in front of my Silverado so I can use the 4x4 on more than the California freeway.

That doesn’t mean I’d stop reading a fic that included Taylor Swift lyrics.

I simply cringe and read on. I mean, if the fic is good, it doesn’t matter, right?

I have a thing for 80s tunes. I do. But I know not everyone does. Oh, well. My fic, I’ll do what I want.

One thing I do like to do, though, is tell you guys how I feel about certain things via fic. We did this to great effect when informing everyone that Coldplay does not belong next to the Cure in one’s CD collection, no matter the alphabetical order.

Anyway, try to get over your distaste. Give the fic a chance.

But if they start to quote John Mayer, run. Screaming.

-wtvoc

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Jasper Hale Question O’the Week

Dear Ms. Wtvoc –

I appreciate the detailed answer you provided for last week’s question. You have given me much to consider. Just when I thought I had a solid grasp on the concept of true human nature, I realize there is still much to learn.

I hope it does not offend, but this week’s question is also of a sexual topic. In addition to the D/s popularity we discussed, I have also noticed that the majority of “slash” stories pair me with Edward. There is an occasional slash story featuring Carlisle, but Emmett – who appears to be otherwise a very popular fan fiction character – is almost never featured in this way. Edward’s physical attractiveness is an empirical fact, and I do understand the interest in all manner of stories about him. However, as vampires, all the members of my family enjoy the enhanced physical attributes that make us particularly appealing to your kind. I am anxious to hear your thoughts on why Edward and I seem to be singled out for this unconventional pairing.

Perhaps this is a turn of the “smut tide” you mentioned?

As an aside, Emmett is starting to question his appeal, and Rosalie is no help, as she cannot understand why he wants to be paired, even fictionally, with anyone but her.

Until next time,

Jasper Hale

P.S. It would be my honor to take you up on your dinner offer one evening. What type of steak do you prefer? An animal found in the continental United States would be best.

Dear Mr. Hale-

To borrow from something I answered above, I believe it’s because we know so little about Jasper that you are chosen most often for this unconventional pairing.

I’m going to be general here, but Emmett is the jocky fratboy of the Cullen Bunch. Jasper is the consummate Southern Gentleman.
We know about Edward, we know he’s a gentleman. And I don’t care how unfeministic (o hai there, neologism) this is, but most girls like a gentleman. We don’t want to be coddled or rendered useless, but I for one love to have the door held open for me, and I am teaching my children to be considerate of ladies.

True gentlemen don’t treat their women like china, they treat them like they’re worthy of being treated well. It’s a small distinction, but an important one.

Now, keeping that in mind- Emmett is the funtimes guy. I’d invite Emmett to my backyard barbecue or a strip joint; Edward I’d take home to meet mom, and you, Mr. Hale, would be the guy I’d hold to be the example for which I’d wish my children to emulate.

Now, opposites surely do attract, so you’d think Emmett would be the ideal candidate for an opposite-Edward slash pairing; perhaps it’s because of the similar natures that the two of you are seen more often as a pair.

Plus… canon Edward and canon You aren’t painted as blood-related, if you’ll forgive the pun. Edward, Emmett, and Alice are the siblings; you and Rosalie are the siblings.

Edward and Emmett is oogie and incestuous. Sure, we realize none of you are related; maybe it’s the suggestion of it from the second (third? idk, idk. Someone dust off the Bible and tell me) chapter when Jessica is filling Bella in on the town Scandal that made it a sort of subliminal suggestion.

As for Emmett, tell him not to be hurt by this. He doesn’t strike me as one to take himself too seriously, and maybe he can rest easy knowing that I’ve gotten a lot of questions recently regarding the fic reader’s disapproval of Emmett being treated as a doofus in most fics. You’re no doofus, darling; we all know this.

-wtvoc

PS- corn-fed Nebraskan cattle is always best. I like rib eye, medium rare.

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Voting for the Eddies & the Bellies is coming… stay tuned!
Send your inquiries, thoughts, comments, and ramblings to me at dearwtvoc@gmail.com . Seeya in the funny papers…

withthevampsofcourse is a much put upon lovely woman who welcomes all with open arms (even when she shouldn't). If you haven't had the pleasure of reading her fic, being in her box or recieving a package filled with Brown goodies -- well then I feel for you all. She is jandco's attachment (you cannot purchase them seperately -- even at Target), part of bittenev's trifecta, half of fandom's beta and smellyia's comic relief. We wouldn't have her snarky ass any other way.

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