Admin FicRec: Angst Recs Angst

Author: ThisColony
Story: Salacious Behavior and Earnest Speaking
Status: WIP
Rating: M
Genre/Subgenre: AU/AH/OOC Angst/Romance
Chapters: 14, 49,867 words
Published/Updated: 11-18-08/1-31-09
Summary: AU-AH. After a chance meeting, Bella feels a spark that drives her to re-evaluate her life. However, current circumstances and past experiences threaten to unravel everything. Will she find herself and her freedom before she's pulled back under?
Story link: At FanFiction.net
Forum link: At Twilighted
The opinions expressed here are my own, and are not made on behalf of twilighted.net.

Angst recs angst. How 'bout them apples?

I'm really seriously nervous about writing this rec, because I just feel as though I can't do it justice. You have to read! I'll try to be all poetic and shit though, because it's part of the gig.

This is one of those fics that makes me remember just why I love angst so damn much. The back stories are so beautifully interwoven, creating a perfect juncture between three complex individuals that will have you both on the edge of your seat biting your nails, and yelling at the screen. This is true. I've done it.

This is All Human, where our familiar friends are in their early to mid twenties. Edward is an introverted, somewhat socially dysfunctional med student who has become frustratingly jaded with the concept of relationships. He has a difficult time remaining interested in the usually superficial women that he finds he has nothing in common with. Edward has a strong and snarky inner voice that demands some epic form of adoration from our angsty humor fans, but he is not an outwardly asshole. He's actually rather down to earth, but has found himself at a point in his life where he is easily disenchanted, and therefore chooses to mostly keep to himself.

Enter Bella Swan. (You poor schmuck, you had no idea what was coming, did ya?)

Bella is almost more complex than Edward, but before I can really explain Bella, I have to explain her relationship with Jasper.

*Crowd Gasps* "Did she say Bella and Jasper? She's already in a relationship? How many chapters do I have to skim to get to the E/B?"

Well, calm your shit. This relationship is purely dependent, and though Bella and Jasper are close, the reader understands from the very first BPOV that this isn't your garden variety couple.

Excerpt: Sometimes I want to give us more credit than we deserve, and other times I make us out to be monsters when I know we are not. Sometimes I think there is no one in the world who understands me more, and yet less, than Jasper. Everything is such a paradox with us. He is not mine, and I am not his. We are each other's constants. We are a habit. We are a nicotine fix. We're a celebratory dance in our own honor. I am not sure how many women Jasper is currently sleeping with, if any at all, and I do not ask. I am told, I am always told, that I am free to do as I please.

So, we understand that they are casual. But we also understand that this relationship is a destructive force; they pull themselves together and then push each other away. It's authentic and raw, the dynamic they share, and we know from early on that Bella can't last much longer in this relationship of mere convenience.

Bella has a strong and eccentric voice in this fic, still somewhat snarky, and utterly original. She is like no other Bella I have read, and seeing her be both simultaneously fierce, yet completely lost at this point in her life will make her relatable to most anyone in a way that makes you mutter, "Oh, girl. I've so been there…" Then you offer her a hug and remind her that Edward is in this fic.

Things look up.

Jasper. Oh Jasper. We want to hate you for being with Bella, but we just can't.

I have to give massive kudos to the author on Jasper's characterization. It would have been really easy to villainize him as the asshole in this trio; keeping Bella close enough to make himself feel comforted, yet keeping her at his perfunctory emotional distance and starving her of affection and real companionship.

But we can't hate Jasper. One, he is fucking hot with all of his angsty and weird tendencies and we have the urge to take him off of Bella's hands for Edward. Seriously, Jasper. *Brings hand up to ear in phone gesture and whispers covertly* "Call me." Two, we feel sympathetic to his background story, and are given pivotal insight into his behavior that is undeniably justified in his own mind, even though he does have remorseful moments of realization that his actions are causing Bella to suffer. We have the urge to shake him, maybe slap him around a little, steal the cigarette from his hand and take a drag, before kissing him senseless.

Or maybe that's just me, who knows.

When the three meet in Chapter 1, we all get the tell-tale tingle that whispers in our ears, "Things are about to get shaken up." And they do. Edward and Bella are immediately fascinated with one another in a way that is foreign and exciting to them. They both lead complex and solitary lives and, though they might not realize it, thirst for something more and meaningful in companionship. This spark is there, and they both feel it, which leads to chapters-a-plenty of awkward angsty first relationship moments that will immediately hook you if the angst hadn't already.

Excerpt: I hear a small laugh, like bells or even a goddamned xylophone, just this tinkering, lovely sound that floats to me with a big red bow tied around it. It's a laugh that says, "Here. You are a better person just for being in my presence." I must be smiling like an idiot because Emmett's stare is glued to my face and I see this beautiful thing in her green satin dress laughing gently at me with her hand covering her mouth, eyes smiling. The heat of her blush rises to the surface on her cheeks and I would do anything she told me to right now; I would eat insects, I would put my hand on a burning stove, I would listen to this awful, meaningless music for hours on end, I would read Henry David fucking Thoreau without yawning even once. She only has to ask.

The other characters are present here. Emmett, most notably since I love him and his penchant for expletives, but also Rose and Alice, and if you look closely enough, Edward does make mention of Esme and Carlisle.

ThisColony has a rare talent for entering her characters minds and painting us a picture of three lost souls that will have you fascinated and anxiously awaiting update alerts. It is snarky, funny, deep, heartrending, sexy, and in my mind, a perfect example of what angst should be. The reader is given entrance to the most real and thought provoking minds of the characters, and the unedited inner monologues are unique and grant a certain authenticity that will pull you in.

The author manages to balance themes of fluff and humor without making even the most voracious fluff-haters like myself bat an eyelash. The tones mingle and intertwine into a captivating piece of art that compliments and doesn't come off contrived and overly dramatic.

I wish I could go on, but I'm nervous about divulging too much of the plot line where Bella, Jasper, and Edward are concerned, but I implore you to read it for yourself and offer the author your thoughts and comments.