GuestFicRec: Dancing With Leaves

ShilohPR
Leaf Dances - Rated M
AU Human
4 Chapters, 16,554 Words
3/30/09 - WIP
[ FFN ]

When Edward Cullen first moves to Forks, his neighbor Tyler Crowley makes it instantly clear that he demands privacy for him and his insane wife, Isabella. But the longer Edward is witness to Bella's bizarre behavior, the more questions he has, and the less willing he is to remain uninvolved.

Debussey_This

I consider myself a fan fic connoisseur. Really, I do. I read the good, the bad, the ‘Oh shit! I need bleach and a brillo pad’. My updates all go to my phone that goes with me everywhere. I drag others down into my pit of addiction, enticing them with Edwardsmut and movie montages of Rob’s crotch,. Cackling the whole way. I have no shame.

In all of this, I have a few authors that I go crazy over. Really crazy. Drop whatever I’m doing and read right this second kind of crazy (even when I‘m driving. Yes. Stay off the road. I‘m dangerous). When they update I have a strange Pavlovian response/out of body experience (just like this but more awesome -->)


I get tunnel vision, all the noise around me fades away and I start salivating profusely. The heavens open, light shines down from above and angels sing. It’s a beautiful thing. Oxymoronic, Twilightzoner, HaloJones, Houroflead, ThisColony and most recently… ShilohPR.

My love affair with her fics started slowly. Someone recommended Learning to Say No (read it. You really should), and I put it on my ‘I’ll read it when I run out of shit to read at 3 in the morning and while I still can’t sleep I might as well start something new but I don’t want to search through copious amounts of shite fics’ list. And then suddenly I was hearing about it from everyone. So I read. I laughed. I laughed a LOT. I laughed so hard my dog started looking at me funny.
So I checked out her profile and she had JUST started writing Leaf Dances. And I’m going to be honest, I read the prologue… and after staying up for 63 years to read all of LtSN and giggling like a maniac, I wasn’t really interested in reading the angst. So I shelved it. Thought I might read it at a later date.
But I put her on my author alert (cause she’s talented as hell, and I wanted MORE), and it kept popping up in my inbox. So I gave in.

And I was hooked.

Edward, in his quarter life crisis, packs his shit and just GOES. Runs away from it all. Just to move next to crazy Isabella Crowley (I think… maybe more lucid than she appears?) and her creeptastic hubby Tyler-

“You, too,” Tyler nodded back at me. “And I’d be careful about letting that dog run around out here. Wouldn’t want the wolves to get him.”

Yes. Creeptastic. Like this -->



Mark my words.

With all of this going on, the tone is surprisingly light. There are moments of epic hilarity, I find myself laughing out loud at Edward’s inner monologue-
Tori had bought him back when we were dating, way before such a gesture was appropriate, because she said “you two have the same hair.” Shit, thanks. No, really, I’ve been going for the shitterrier look all this time and no one ever realized until you.

And really? I’m kinda falling for him. Only four chapters in and this Edward with his tiny, effeminate dog and a love for Arizona Green Tea has got a hold on me.
And isn’t that what we’re all really here for? The Edward love?

---

Debussey_This IS most definitely a connoisseur; whether she is Smutting up Mondays or Paging Dr. Love stat. You can find her stopping traffic not in a hot little red number (well maybe she'll wear an outfit like that if you ask nicely), but with her phone displaying fic. Last we checked, she had talked her way out of any Disturbing the Peace violations.