Fandom Widowers: A Questionnaire For Our Beloved, Neglected Spouses
I think it is pretty clear that I am obsessed with three things:
1.) Twilight
2.) Rob
3.) FanFic
This is in no particular order.
Okay, okay. Rob is first. I just put him in the middle so he feels cozy.
When you have an addiction it becomes difficult to hide it from the ones you love. This is definitely true when you have posters, a calendar, a box of Twilight Conversation Hearts over the sink, and 9797085754 photos of Robward Cullenson saved on your computer. Friends notice, our kids make comments like, “Why are you always reading that book”, and our husbands, boyfriends, partners, or whatever we want to call them, definitely know something is afoot.
I don’t think I need to explain any of this to you, but the other night Smellyia was telling me about how her husband was watching the DVD of Twilight, and how much he was entertained by it all. I then (desperately still searching for an article topic) thought, HEY! lets see what the guys say about our obsession and how it affects them.
I mean we all know we have ignored them, gushed on about Rob and his hair, pretended to watch Tropic Thunder while we have a huge grin slapped across our face because we are chatting online or on the forums and not paying any attention to the actual movie. My better half has listened to me over countless car rides and dinners discuss the fact I harbor ill will towards Smeyer for the fail, and nodded and said, "uh huh" in all the appropriate places.
So I thought I would make up some questions and find out what these enduring men really think about us and our obsession. I got out my trusty rolodex and hit up some usual/unusual suspects. A couple people declined for the betterment of their relationships and personal sanity (or what's left of it), but others eagerly accepted my challenge to find out what the men in our lives think of our little hobby.
So this is how it worked. I wrote up a series of questions and sent them to approximately ten fellow addicts to forward to their better halves. I asked them to answer 11 questions about their partners, Twilight, and the Fandom. Other than honesty, I asked for a screen name to protect the innocent.
Participants:
- SmellyiaO
- Mr.Caulk
- why can’t she just fish?
- Alice’s_hot_Lover
- Iam
- Lifeguard
- 8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts
- the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
- PoppaWinst
- Eduardo_the_homewrecker
- AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns
Question 1. At what point did you realize you were becoming a widower to the Twilight Fandom?
A. When the name Edward comes into general conversation so much that you finally realized it wasn’t some guy from work your partner had a crush on but a fictional character.
B. When you’re spouse stood in line for 4 hours to get a book, movie ticket or DVD?
C.When you realized your wife was no longer sleeping, read the same book 14 times, had more friends online than off and suddenly had migranes from reading online so much.
D. All of the above
SmellyiaO Says: "C"
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: I was a widower long before Twilight fandom. I am crying now. Thanks for reminding me that I am dead to my wife. Wait. It's mulitple choice? "C".
lifeguard Says: "C"
why can’t she just fish? Says: "C"
Mr.Caulk Says: "C"
PoppaWinst says: D. All of the above - Definitely noticed when sleep became optional to reading/writing fanfiction lol. Also, I realized i was becoming a widower when conversations felt like distractions to twilight world haha.
Iam says: When my wife stopped smiling at me and only smiles at the reviews of her stories. She seems to have a much stronger emotional connection to the imaginary friends online than to me.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: D) - On the bright side, now I have more time to do dishes, laundry, clean bathrooms, change diapers, vacuum and mop the floors, go to the supermarket... We-e-e-elll.. la-de-freakin'-da!
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: "C".
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: I was a widower long before Twilight fandom. I am crying now. Thanks for reminding me that I am dead to my wife. Wait. It's mulitple choice? "C".
lifeguard Says: "C"
why can’t she just fish? Says: "C"
Mr.Caulk Says: "C"
PoppaWinst says: D. All of the above - Definitely noticed when sleep became optional to reading/writing fanfiction lol. Also, I realized i was becoming a widower when conversations felt like distractions to twilight world haha.
Iam says: When my wife stopped smiling at me and only smiles at the reviews of her stories. She seems to have a much stronger emotional connection to the imaginary friends online than to me.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: D) - On the bright side, now I have more time to do dishes, laundry, clean bathrooms, change diapers, vacuum and mop the floors, go to the supermarket... We-e-e-elll.. la-de-freakin'-da!
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: "C".
Question 2. As a fandom generally geared toward women and commonly focused on the hot and upcoming actors of the movie, does this make you feel any jealously as a territorial male? Do you feel like Edward when James sees Bella for the first time in the baseball field?
SmellyiaO says: No. Don't be silly. Did you see the size of their bats? (smellyia)
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: I feel like Edward Scissorhands, I just want to eat someone. (Wife Note: He calls Jasper "Edward Scissorhands" because of the look he gives throughout the movie)
Mr.Caulk says: No. Not really.
why can’t she just fish? says: I don't know what Edward felt like because I refuse to read the book or watch the movie. No, I'm not jealous, I'm using all these "personal fantasy's" for my OWN personal gain.
Lifeguard says: It does at first, and then I remember that it's other women and a manboy that is well on his way to being a hobo so it turns to Mild Amusement sometimes followed by his more hostile cousin, Annoyance.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: I don't feel jealous... When I ask her why she screams "Oh Edward!" in the middle of the night, she says she is just practicing for her online theater group.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: For one thing I have no idea what that reference means and don’t ever care to find out. and yes at first I got jealous even mad about it. It caused a rocky part of our relationship.
PoppaWinst says: ok, seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about. haha. But, I'd have to say that I didn't feel jealous or territorial at all.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: I'm only jealous of things that exist in real life.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: No. I have my hobbies. And I wouldn't know Bella from a baseball bat.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: I feel like Edward Scissorhands, I just want to eat someone. (Wife Note: He calls Jasper "Edward Scissorhands" because of the look he gives throughout the movie)
Mr.Caulk says: No. Not really.
why can’t she just fish? says: I don't know what Edward felt like because I refuse to read the book or watch the movie. No, I'm not jealous, I'm using all these "personal fantasy's" for my OWN personal gain.
Lifeguard says: It does at first, and then I remember that it's other women and a manboy that is well on his way to being a hobo so it turns to Mild Amusement sometimes followed by his more hostile cousin, Annoyance.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: I don't feel jealous... When I ask her why she screams "Oh Edward!" in the middle of the night, she says she is just practicing for her online theater group.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: ok, seriously, I have no idea what you're talking about. haha. But, I'd have to say that I didn't feel jealous or territorial at all.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: I'm only jealous of things that exist in real life.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: No. I have my hobbies. And I wouldn't know Bella from a baseball bat.
Question 3. Have you ever had an argument over one of the following?
A. The difference between a Porsche and a Volvo.
B. The difference between dirty and ‘dirty’.
C. Which is cooler: vampires or werewolves.
D. Why it’s not okay for a guy to sneak into a girls room at night, but it is okay for a vampire to sneak into a girls room at night.
E. All of the above.
SmellyiaO says: No, we don't argue. Smellyia's dirtier than I am, what could be wrong with that?
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: no, not about any of those. Except that I know if I said the wrong answer to "C" I would be killed. That girl hates Jacob.
Mr.Caulk says: None of the above. I try to know as little as I can.
why can’t she just fish? says: B and just so you know, it IS NOT HOT for two guys to have sex under ANY circumstance.
Iam says: Financial responsibility vs. urgency to get the next chapter up.
Lifeguard says: "B".
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: C) - NEWS FLASH... this just in... vampires and werewolves DO NOT EXISTS... it's moo point
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: None of the Above
PoppaWinst says: Which is cooler vampires or werewolves - Not so much an argument, but this was actually discussed, and i think we're both in agreement that werewolves are slightly cooler.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: Teenwolves are the coolest.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: E. Our arguements usually start over cheez-its.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: no, not about any of those. Except that I know if I said the wrong answer to "C" I would be killed. That girl hates Jacob.
Mr.Caulk says: None of the above. I try to know as little as I can.
why can’t she just fish? says: B and just so you know, it IS NOT HOT for two guys to have sex under ANY circumstance.
Iam says: Financial responsibility vs. urgency to get the next chapter up.
Lifeguard says: "B".
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: C) - NEWS FLASH... this just in... vampires and werewolves DO NOT EXISTS... it's moo point
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: Which is cooler vampires or werewolves - Not so much an argument, but this was actually discussed, and i think we're both in agreement that werewolves are slightly cooler.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: Teenwolves are the coolest.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: E. Our arguements usually start over cheez-its.
Question 4. Edward is a...
A. ...seal.
B. ...werewolf.
C. ...vampire.
D. ...tool.
E. ...pillow biter.
SmellyiaO says: "D". That didn't even need thinking.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: Can he be a pillow biting vampire tool? No. It's C. I think. He has no REAL vampire traits but I do know the answer.
Mr.Caulk says: I know it's C but sometimes I think D.
why can’t she just fish? says: Tool maybe? What the hell is a pillow biter? You need to add an F - I have no idea.
Iam says: A 'B' quality character on one of the stupidest movies I have seen in a long time.
Lifeguard says: "D".
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: F) Cougar bait.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: "C".
PoppaWinst says: "C".
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: "A", "D", and "E".
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: "D".
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: Can he be a pillow biting vampire tool? No. It's C. I think. He has no REAL vampire traits but I do know the answer.
Mr.Caulk says: I know it's C but sometimes I think D.
why can’t she just fish? says: Tool maybe? What the hell is a pillow biter? You need to add an F - I have no idea.
Iam says: A 'B' quality character on one of the stupidest movies I have seen in a long time.
Lifeguard says: "D".
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: F) Cougar bait.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: "C".
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: "A", "D", and "E".
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: "D".
Question 5. When your partner gets the Twilight/Rob/FanFic gleam in her eye, your first reaction is to:
A. Get. Out. Of. The. Way.
B. Offer to let her use the new lap top and not the ancient desk top.
C. Mock her and her activities.
D. Figure out how to use this for your benefit later.
SmellyiaO says: "A" and turn on the game. (Smellyia: and I'm scary) No you're not. (am too) Ok-aaay.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: "A" and "C". Again, I get out of the way after I mock.
Mr.Caulk says: E. Laugh and shake my head
why can’t she just fish? says: DDDDDD
Iam says: Call my girlfriend and let her know I will be staying for another week.
Lifeguard says: I want to say D, but it's usually only afterwards when I remember that is a possibility that she has mentioned to me, and by that time it's too late b/c she's lost in that world and won't emerge from it for several hours later. Basically, B has already happened, so maybe that's what my answer should be.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: I can only assume that by gleam you are talking about the Gay and Lesbian Employees at Microsoft (GLEAM)... if that is the case I can only hope that she doesn't get an eye infection.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: "A" and "C".
PoppaWinst says: "A" and "C".
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: E. Buy a new printer cartridge.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: mwhaha. Why limit yourself to one? I do them all. It's all about the order.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: "A" and "C". Again, I get out of the way after I mock.
Mr.Caulk says: E. Laugh and shake my head
why can’t she just fish? says: DDDDDD
Iam says: Call my girlfriend and let her know I will be staying for another week.
Lifeguard says: I want to say D, but it's usually only afterwards when I remember that is a possibility that she has mentioned to me, and by that time it's too late b/c she's lost in that world and won't emerge from it for several hours later. Basically, B has already happened, so maybe that's what my answer should be.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: I can only assume that by gleam you are talking about the Gay and Lesbian Employees at Microsoft (GLEAM)... if that is the case I can only hope that she doesn't get an eye infection.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: "A" and "C".
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: E. Buy a new printer cartridge.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: mwhaha. Why limit yourself to one? I do them all. It's all about the order.
Question 6. Do you ever feel like you have to compete with your partner's obsession to get attention?
SmellyiaO says: Yes. I like to dance around naked to achieve this.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: Not until you asked dammit, who are you people? Seriously. No. I don't. She is very attentive. And she went on "girl-cation" with some of you. I love that she is so excited (have you seen her? She is like a bundle of psycho energy, I don't know when she sleeps. She is an alien. OR A VAMPIRE. ) but really, she is happy and that is what matters most. She has made some great friends.
Mr.Caulk says: What partner?? what's attention??
why can’t she just fish? says: Maybe, sometimes. I have threatened to smash the computer, turn it off, break it somehow. But then she threatens sex or my boat so I cave.
Iam says: No, I lost that competition a long time ago. You ladies are capable of articulating emotions better than we are, why bother.
Lifeguard says: This is a rhetorical question, right?
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: Occasion.
PoppaWinst says: All. The. Time.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: I don't know what you are talking about... I mow the lawn shirtless, in a red banana hammock and wearing leather mandals because it makes me feel sexy.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: YES.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Yes, but I'm sure she feels the same way at times about my gaming obsessions.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: Not until you asked dammit, who are you people? Seriously. No. I don't. She is very attentive. And she went on "girl-cation" with some of you. I love that she is so excited (have you seen her? She is like a bundle of psycho energy, I don't know when she sleeps. She is an alien. OR A VAMPIRE. ) but really, she is happy and that is what matters most. She has made some great friends.
Mr.Caulk says: What partner?? what's attention??
why can’t she just fish? says: Maybe, sometimes. I have threatened to smash the computer, turn it off, break it somehow. But then she threatens sex or my boat so I cave.
Iam says: No, I lost that competition a long time ago. You ladies are capable of articulating emotions better than we are, why bother.
Lifeguard says: This is a rhetorical question, right?
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: All. The. Time.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: I don't know what you are talking about... I mow the lawn shirtless, in a red banana hammock and wearing leather mandals because it makes me feel sexy.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: YES.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Yes, but I'm sure she feels the same way at times about my gaming obsessions.
Question 7. How do you feel about the fact she is obsessed with a book for teenagers and swoons over any mention of vampires, Edward or silver Volvos?
SmellyiaO says: I am embarassed that I married a teenager.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: I didn't know how she felt about it until I took her to the opening of the movie for her birthday. We sat by some high school chicks and they all giggled the entire time. I always tell her that I am getting older but she is getting younger. She's benjamin button, but hotter. And a girl.
Mr.Caulk says: I think its crazy how obsessed she is but I don't care. It gives her something to do.
why can’t she just fish? says: I just hope in her mind they're of age...and not teenagers.
Iam says: Better than the old relationship with a plastic toy or some greasy old guy that works at a school for wizards.
Lifeguard says: Where's the multiple choice answers for this one?
A - Like you're not satisifying her enough so she has to turn to a romance novel for teens.
B - Relieved, now you can watch the game in peace.
C - Confused because the only Edward you know is Edward Norton, andyou're pretty sure he's not that hot.
D - None of the above b/c of a current obsession with Scarlett Johansen.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: As long as she is happy and I get a little attention here and there. Plus it helped with the sexual tension in the house.
PoppaWinst says: It's weird...but I can understand it. I get all goo-goo eyed over cars and planes that transform into giant robots from outer space, so who am I to talk? ;)
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: I used to drive a truck, now I drive a volvo, that should explain it pretty well.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: I really have no problem with it. And I kinda look like a vampire, so it works.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: I didn't know how she felt about it until I took her to the opening of the movie for her birthday. We sat by some high school chicks and they all giggled the entire time. I always tell her that I am getting older but she is getting younger. She's benjamin button, but hotter. And a girl.
Mr.Caulk says: I think its crazy how obsessed she is but I don't care. It gives her something to do.
why can’t she just fish? says: I just hope in her mind they're of age...and not teenagers.
Iam says: Better than the old relationship with a plastic toy or some greasy old guy that works at a school for wizards.
Lifeguard says: Where's the multiple choice answers for this one?
A - Like you're not satisifying her enough so she has to turn to a romance novel for teens.
B - Relieved, now you can watch the game in peace.
C - Confused because the only Edward you know is Edward Norton, andyou're pretty sure he's not that hot.
D - None of the above b/c of a current obsession with Scarlett Johansen.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: It's weird...but I can understand it. I get all goo-goo eyed over cars and planes that transform into giant robots from outer space, so who am I to talk? ;)
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: I used to drive a truck, now I drive a volvo, that should explain it pretty well.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: I really have no problem with it. And I kinda look like a vampire, so it works.
Question 8. What is the most ridiculous thing your partner has done for her obsession?
SmellyiaO says: First: start a blog. Second: The Chi-Town Summit. But she will surpass both of these by going to LA to see wtvoc & jfly next month.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: Sleep with Amelia.
why can’t she just fish? says: Going to NY to meet "Edward Cullen", standing in line for 14 hours in NY City, with my KIDS! I can't even tell you how many times she's read the SAME book...I mean the words don't change.
Iam says: Besides mentioning it to me like it is something I would find interesting, I would have to say purchasing the sequel after reading the first one.
Lifeguard says: How can you limit this to just one thing. Isn't the whole thing ridiculous? Can I say, "Started the obsession"?
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: Well that is between me and my 2 therapists... But of the record, I am in talks with the producers of A&E's Intervention to do a pilot for a spinoff called Twilight Intervention.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: There is not enough paper here for everything!
PoppaWinst says: the most ridiculous thing......anything she's done and/or said that has the word "dazzle" in it.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: Got on a plane with a bunch of other ridiculously obsessed women to fly to Seattle.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Write a book about unicorns and cookies.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: Sleep with Amelia.
why can’t she just fish? says: Going to NY to meet "Edward Cullen", standing in line for 14 hours in NY City, with my KIDS! I can't even tell you how many times she's read the SAME book...I mean the words don't change.
Iam says: Besides mentioning it to me like it is something I would find interesting, I would have to say purchasing the sequel after reading the first one.
Lifeguard says: How can you limit this to just one thing. Isn't the whole thing ridiculous? Can I say, "Started the obsession"?
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: Well that is between me and my 2 therapists... But of the record, I am in talks with the producers of A&E's Intervention to do a pilot for a spinoff called Twilight Intervention.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: the most ridiculous thing......anything she's done and/or said that has the word "dazzle" in it.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: Got on a plane with a bunch of other ridiculously obsessed women to fly to Seattle.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Write a book about unicorns and cookies.
Question 9. Has there ever been a moment where your partners rabid obsession has embarrassed or humiliated you? If so, pray tell.
SmellyiaO says: Talking out loud. At any adult function. Numerous times. Interrupting MAN talk. It is constant. Oh, and her smut. I didn't even know!
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: When we have to sit and talk to strangers about the books, that is embarrassing. But I usually find kindred spirits. And hopefully I have my flask filled with spirits at the time too.
Mr.Caulk says: She got up at two in the morning to get tickets to see Rob. And she went all the way to New York for a book signing.
why can’t she just fish? says: No. She keeps it to herself or just talks to you crazy people about it.
Iam says: Not a chance in hell. I won’t go to a movie premier with her for that reason. Preemptive protection.
Lifeguard says: After the Failure That Was BD my wife had a panic attack at our daughter's school during registration. An absolute meltdown-freakout where she had to leave the building without getting lots of pertinent information. I ran into her in the hallway and was worried that something was really wrong. I was worried about her at that point, but also embarrassed for her. (this is completely true by the way…sigh.)
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: Is it really necessary to go to every single Hot Topic store we see? I spend so much time in that store with her, that the mall cops probably already have sicko profile of me.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: No not at all.
PoppaWinst says: LOL no, thankfully. Actually, I'm quite proud to say my girl is a dork. And her rabid obsession showed me just how talented a writer she really is.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: Nope. But I did pay for the trip to Washington.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Nah. She's too sweet to do something like that.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: When we have to sit and talk to strangers about the books, that is embarrassing. But I usually find kindred spirits. And hopefully I have my flask filled with spirits at the time too.
Mr.Caulk says: She got up at two in the morning to get tickets to see Rob. And she went all the way to New York for a book signing.
why can’t she just fish? says: No. She keeps it to herself or just talks to you crazy people about it.
Iam says: Not a chance in hell. I won’t go to a movie premier with her for that reason. Preemptive protection.
Lifeguard says: After the Failure That Was BD my wife had a panic attack at our daughter's school during registration. An absolute meltdown-freakout where she had to leave the building without getting lots of pertinent information. I ran into her in the hallway and was worried that something was really wrong. I was worried about her at that point, but also embarrassed for her. (this is completely true by the way…sigh.)
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: Is it really necessary to go to every single Hot Topic store we see? I spend so much time in that store with her, that the mall cops probably already have sicko profile of me.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: LOL no, thankfully. Actually, I'm quite proud to say my girl is a dork. And her rabid obsession showed me just how talented a writer she really is.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: Nope. But I did pay for the trip to Washington.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Nah. She's too sweet to do something like that.
Question 10. Have you, at any time, considered having your wife committed?
SmellyiaO says: Never. She won't go back. Anyways, who would feel the dogs?
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: HELL YES. But not for twilight fanfic. She is the energizer rabbit she could use the rest.
Mr.Caulk says: No, not yet.
why can’t she just fish? says: No, I just usualy walk away and put my hands up and say whatever.
Iam says: A more appropriate question would be, Have you at any time considered having your wife…? (fill in the blank)
Lifeguard says: Yes. See Above.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: am just waiting for Obama to include Twilight addiction to his Healthcare Reform... VP Biden is on it.. and nobody screws with Joe!
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: Of course just not for the whole fanfic thing.
PoppaWinst says: Not yet.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: No. But have considered canceling our internet so she can get some rest.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Only if she shares the drugs...
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: HELL YES. But not for twilight fanfic. She is the energizer rabbit she could use the rest.
Mr.Caulk says: No, not yet.
why can’t she just fish? says: No, I just usualy walk away and put my hands up and say whatever.
Iam says: A more appropriate question would be, Have you at any time considered having your wife…? (fill in the blank)
Lifeguard says: Yes. See Above.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: am just waiting for Obama to include Twilight addiction to his Healthcare Reform... VP Biden is on it.. and nobody screws with Joe!
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: Not yet.
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: No. But have considered canceling our internet so she can get some rest.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Only if she shares the drugs...
Question 11. What is your first reaction to the name "Robert Pattinson"?
SmellyiaO says: Who?
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: What is with you people? Kidding. Not really.
Mr.Caulk says: Oh brother. I can't believe my wife is in love with Cedric Diggory.
why can’t she just fish? says: Whatever...same answer as above...
Iam says: I had to ask her who that was. He must be such an amazing actor and heart throb that no one except a fan of the series, knows who he is. I remember now that they killed him off in Harry Potter cause he couldn’t act and assumed that was the end of the matter. I suppose if you write a bad enough story and make a movie out of it you can cast anyone and it is an improvement.
Lifeguard says: Unfortunately it's a contact buzz from the Dazzle.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: I got a countdown calendar in my Facebook page with the days until Robert replaces Daniel Radcliffe in that Equus play... I bet $20 he has a small penis.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_wtvoc_sammich says: OH GOD HERE WE GO AGAIN!!
PoppaWinst says: Isn't that an author?
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: The most soft, emotional person that my wife stood in line for hours to see at Comic Con '08.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Who's that? She said something about preferring Jack's son.
Alice’s_hot_Lover says: What is with you people? Kidding. Not really.
Mr.Caulk says: Oh brother. I can't believe my wife is in love with Cedric Diggory.
why can’t she just fish? says: Whatever...same answer as above...
Iam says: I had to ask her who that was. He must be such an amazing actor and heart throb that no one except a fan of the series, knows who he is. I remember now that they killed him off in Harry Potter cause he couldn’t act and assumed that was the end of the matter. I suppose if you write a bad enough story and make a movie out of it you can cast anyone and it is an improvement.
Lifeguard says: Unfortunately it's a contact buzz from the Dazzle.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says: I got a countdown calendar in my Facebook page with the days until Robert replaces Daniel Radcliffe in that Equus play... I bet $20 he has a small penis.
the_filling_in_a_jandco_/_
PoppaWinst says: Isn't that an author?
Eduardo_the_homewrecker says: The most soft, emotional person that my wife stood in line for hours to see at Comic Con '08.
AngstGod_KeyMaster_of_Unicorns says: Who's that? She said something about preferring Jack's son.
Ummm….yeah. WOW.
Excuse me while I wipe the tears from my eyes and the Mountain Dew off my monitor. There you have it. What I can’t decide is did our husbands have these attitudes and wicked sense of humors before all of this started or did it develop as a defense mechanism?
Is it a case of: if you don’t laugh, you will cry?
Or if I respond any other way it will be a one way trip to the divorce lawyer?
Sigh. I have no idea but I can say this. Our obsession and involvement in the fandom does affect them. We all know they sometimes get the
And I have found that even if I try to include them they can never really be included. This is a woman’s world, an intense obsessed woman’s world that men truly can not enter with us. It is where we find our BFF soul mate that lives across the country (or for God’s sake in Canada) and we have to endure time zones, carpools, and RealLife for just five minutes a day to catch up.
But we need to be nice. And occasionally get off the computer and watch Iron Man or whatever movie that came out while we were not paying attention (sigh, Watchmen). We need to remember to go to the store, feed the kids and let the dogs out. I also have to remind myself that as much as I need “this” he needs me and I have to make that a priority.
Right?
So I’m going to end this article with little note. I need to offer a big thank you to the guys who answered all my questions. Some of you were funny or silly. Others a little touchy but honest. And there are at least two of you I may be scared of. Sadly one of these is my husband. Apparently some thought this was contest and kept asking “did I win?” no bb’s…you didn’t win anything but our eternal love and devotion. (well and the guy in the banana hammock may have won some fans). I did ask AG to make that trophy over there, though.
THANKS!
These are the women to graciously asked their husbands and boyfriends to participate. Who knows what they sacrificed for this interview…
- Smellyia
- Emibella
- Angel
- Bitteneve
- GinnyW
- ECyesplease
- WTVoC
- Starshinedown
- AngstGoddess003
- Gustariana
- Tnuccio
* I will be starting a new column for the blog on Fandom News. If you would like to send me any ideas for this please send me PM. I would love to hear your thoughts!
Angel/edwardzukorocks is an admin for this blog, writes for the Twilight fandom, and splits her time dreaming of Rob and David. Rob. David. Rob. David. Rob. David. She loves glitter, the FF stat page, superheroes with subtle homosexual tendencies, and nonsensical, yet admittedly hilarious rants on preachers with lisps.
WHAT'S SO CRAZY ABOUT GETTING ON A PLANE NEXT MONTH TO PARTY WITH WTVOC? come on, matt. i thought we were friends.
ReplyDeletei think we should all get our menfolk in an epic gchat together.
then again, they might all just download porn for each other's amusement and then i'd lose my computer privileges forever to him. i already had to tear him away from talking to my jandco tonight so we could watch bones. psssh.
I wonder if people can tell who goes with whom? Although, I am not owning up to it. Even if mine is easy.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm the epic manchat appeals to me. but idk...we would have to monitor...but then again men do not multitask well so it may not even be possible...
ReplyDeleteI dun know no SmellyiO. Am concerned someone is trying to rip my name.
ReplyDeleteWhat's so wrong with living in Canada....?
ReplyDelete...
spoken like a true single person...
okay straight up, that is the FUNNIEST thing I have ever read. I was laughing so hard I was crying and it's entirely possible that I peed my pants as well. I guessed a few of them, and I have to say, some of the significant others are as funny as their counterparts. . .
ReplyDeleteWhat? I totally did not convince my husband to buy a volvo. So what if I liked the silver one. He got black anyway. Let's just say it was an interesting conversation when my SIL mentioned Edward Cullen driving a volvo.
ReplyDeleteThis was fun angel. Great idea. I don't think mine would do gchat...this is my world. I don't want him TOO involved.
xxoo
ECyp
That was hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could get the boyfriend to read this post because he brings my obsession up all the time. *sigh*
And I think I figured out which guy belongs to which girl. Hmm... will have to confirm later once I've conferred with a couple people.
I'm not going to show this to my partner. He'll only find solidarity and set up a widowers group, or a IHateRobPattersonCosHeStoleMyWife type dealy.
ReplyDeleteThey really just dont get it.
As i pointed out, at least I'm obsessed with FanFic, and not Jimmy Choos.
I had him there.
xx gee xx
This was hysterical. Your menfolk have a fantastic sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine the answers my husband would have given. I remember the lecture I got the first time I said that Rob was smoking hot from him: "He is a BOY, a little BOY, you are 36 years old and he is a BOY!" I suppose my response of "He is 22 and that is legal all over the world baby, I am cougar, hear me roar" didn't help matters. "Robert Pattinson" is a 4 letter word in this house now.
First of all, the AngstGod is either clearly in denial, or buttering me up for something he knows I will not agree to with, "Nah. She's too sweet to do something like that."
ReplyDeleteWHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY FIANCE?!?!
I got the little trophy up a little late, but I already told him he lost. I think 8_too_many won this one. He pretty much had me dying of laughter. GLEAM. GAH. Died ded.
Also... this article has taught me three things about fandom spouses:
1.) They are shockingly tolerant.
2.) They are, at times, just as hilarious as their wives.
3.) They have awful grammar.
The restraint I had to tap to NOT edit the responses to make them grammatically correct when I posted this was epic.
Angel, this article is fantastically WIN. I laughed so hard I cried reading our dear put-upon mens' responses.
ReplyDeleteAngstGoddess, that trophy is fantastic! Though I do wonder how much they'll appreciate a trophy with Robward's face on it. :D
what an AMAZING (!!!!!!!!!!!) blog entry! i had to keep my laughter to a minimum since i'm in the office but i was silently laughing my fucking ass off! my boyfriend...does NOT understand either. he only liked the baseball scene in the movie because muse was playing. although ITA about the edward scissorhands comment. jasper had like...2 lines in the whole movie. the whole cullen family got overlooked! i try to call ff my secret shame but he says it's not a secret if everyone knows...it's just shameful. he is just uneducated!
ReplyDeletemarilla_shirley
I read this at work and now everyone thinks I am even more crazier than they thought because I was clutched over in laughter at my desk. Oh my poor husband is going to love to know that he isn't alone-am sending him this link. He still hasn't fully recovered from my epic freak-out over BD last year. The stories he can tell about my obsession (shudder).
ReplyDeletewolvesnvamps
OMG...this is priceless - I loved your article!
ReplyDeleteWhile there's no doubt FanFic has helped me overcome the angst created by SM for making her characters only 17 (I feel much less depraved & alone) - FF has lessened hubs grumbling about how much time I spend on the computer.
I'm not sure he'd admit it, but deep down he's sort of enjoying it...our new code for "wanna get lucky?" has become..."Find any new stories you think I'd like to read?" and OMG! - I caught him looking up Vampire Porn last weekend cuz he thought I might enjoy it - Yay! LOL
Caitlin. there is nothing wrong with Canada except it is to far from me.
ReplyDeletesigh...these guys are so fracking silly. i'm pretty sure most of them were pretty excited to be included for once...but i think we all know that if they REALLY knew what went on here we would all be comitted for sure.
I enjoyed this very very much. And yeah... the Edward Scissorhands comment got me, too. haaHAHAAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteWOW! This was absolute hilarity!
ReplyDeleteThere's a reason why EPOV is so popular. Gotta love the guy's POV.
Congratulations on your significant others, ladies!
LOL! I keep rereading their answers and they make me laugh every time. Interesting how alike the spouses sound sometimes. :D
ReplyDeleteAlso, this trophy makes me want to create a whole shitload of Robward Cullen "TLYDF.com Appreciation of Excellence" Trophies.
ReplyDeleteTLYDF.com's Scariest Addict.
TLYDF.com's Best Use of the Word "ManBoy"
TLYDF.com's Bestest Grammir
Oh, God. Stop me now...
Maybe I'm being silly, but shouldn't the header at the top of this say Admin Essay? Also, hysterical entry otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI felt a little guilty about my fairly new (2 month) obsession with all things twilight and, even more recently) Fan fiction. This article did NOT help! ;) I laughed like crazy and I was happy to see so many of my fav authors (kissing up here, I know) have hilarious homelives, too.
ReplyDeleteOMG funniest article EVER! Seriously, I laughed my ass off. I can just imagine what my fiance's responses would have been to some of those questions!
ReplyDelete:-D
this was hilarious. I feel kind of bad for the guys who have to deal with the twilight obsession and it makes me feel better that i am not the most obsessed.
ReplyDeleteWow, Twifandom Spouses are the most humorous husbands/boyfriends/fiancees going.
ReplyDeleteDid you realize that you're all romantically involved with surprisingly tolerant comedians?
I fear the day my boyfriend finds out I write fic... and smut. I can see it now, "Threesome!? What threesome? Will you do that with ME?" (puppy eyes here). He knows about the Twilight and the icons I make... but the fic is my own secret world.
AngstGoddess said:
Also... this article has taught me three things about fandom spouses:
1.) They are shockingly tolerant.
2.) They are, at times, just as hilarious as their wives.
3.) They have awful grammar.
So true, and so funny.
You Ladies are alwasy funny ... but your SOs may be even funnier (...at times). Hands down winner:
ReplyDeleteQuestion #4 Edward is a...
A. ...seal.
B. ...werewolf.
C. ...vampire.
D. ...tool.
E. ...pillow biter.
THIS answer had me simultaneously peeing my pants and laughing so hard I snorkled. All. Alone.
8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts says:
F) Cougar bait.
Cowgirlgraphics says ... oh, absolutely!
That was awesome. I am so getting DH to read this so he can see that he is not alone! There are others out there just like him!!
ReplyDeleteOkay...just so you know, I never threaten with sex...the boat, yes...is fair game. If I can't play neither can he...but sex...nope.
ReplyDeleteNever inflict punishment that punishes you!
He keeps hitting me on the shoulder saying "you have too...you may not have meant it but you told me no more sexytime if the computer disappears..."
I don't remember saying that...he's exaggerating...
I'll tell you...I've been laughing for days over this one. When we were doing the questions, watching them come back in...I thought my computer was going to short out from me spitting out my water...
banana hammocks and mandals...
I so enjoyed this. And to be honest it showed Mark he's not the only one who has to put up with my crazy obsession...although, he's convinced he still has it a little harder than all these other guys...not only does he have me to deal with but he also has...
Ally...14 year old who's full of piss and vinegar
Sarah...who's slightly obsessed with all things Twilight now
and Cassidy...who we've lured into the trap!
Every room in the house can be filled with twilight conversation of one sort or the other...
This is why man builds garages...it is...really...should be check box on the zoning paperwork...
Need an escape from the estrogen...please let me build my "he man woman hater" club house...I need refuge. Large sign on the door…Twilight Fans – NOT Welcome…
Angel...thanks for a fun time. This week has been wonderful and little does he know...we found a way to drag him into this...
Happy dance here!
We do have amazingly funny husbands... and very tolerant too. They have to be to put up with our brand of crazy.
ReplyDeleteNot shockingly I think the majority of them wanted to know if they had won, and what they had won.
And 8_too_many_twilight_t-shirts sounds like a real catch!
Let me tell you what they won....
ReplyDeleteus.
and they are so frackin lucky.
Question 7. How do you feel about the fact she is obsessed with a book for teenagers and swoons over any mention of vampires, Edward or silver Volvos?
ReplyDeletewhy can’t she just fish? says: I just hope in her mind they're of age...and not teenagers.
This one had me laughing because it's so true!!! In my mind I see 22 year old Rob as Edward, thank goodness :p
Awesome, totally awesome! I am showing this to my husband tomorrow, as it's 1:20 am, and he is asleep ;)
ReplyDeleteIt is so comforting to know that other women's husbands give them the same shit that I get from my husband. Hand in hand with their version of support.
My husband would be right there with 8-too many twilight shirts when he went to talk to A&E. He's told me the same thing!
and I love the hubby who said that he's using his wife's personal fantasies to his own gain... My husband admittedly does so too.
What I'm getting out of this is that our husbands love us, and the quirky little things that make us well, us. and you know what they say, "if Mamma ain't happy, no body's happy"
This makes us happy, in turn, we make them happy! Everybody wins!
Great idea, Angel! Another home run from the gals at TLYDF!
Kay
OH.MY.GOD. I have to say that was completely hilarious. Very Good. And I have to thank my husband. I drug him all the way across the country with me when I won the contest to go to The Twilight premiere in LA and to meet Robert Pattinson. He had no clue what he was getting into at the time.
ReplyDeleteHello,
ReplyDeleteThis was FANTASTIC!
I forwarded this link to my boyfriend while he was at work for him to read. He enjoyed it and sent back this comment I wanted to share with you all:
"Nice to know I'm not the only one. Maybe I should start a blog where the SO's of all you girls can find solace. You aren't going to start threatening sex now, are you?"
He LOVES to make fun of the fact that I am just a tad bit obsessed with a book written for teenagers and has been known to threaten to put my computer on "time out" if I don't come to bed. He works in IT, so I have no doubt he could do it. I won't threaten sex... well, maybe not.
I would like to point out, that while all of us ladies spend hours (and hours and hours) writing, reading, chatting, perusing, and doing all sorts of fandom activity, we aren't the only ones with a hobby that sometimes (ok, more than sometimes) takes precedence over real life. Our men (or most of them) also have a hobby, video games anyone? I will NEVER understand how he can have fun chatting on a headset with a bunch of different guys killing aliens with a remote controller. I kind of think a truce is in order, I stop bitching about him playing video games all the time and he can stop bitching about my time on the fandom.
Another WONDERFUL WONDERFUL item from you TLYDF ladies!!
jmeyer
It's funny how in my life fanfiction is sort of a dirty little secret only my husband knows I'm obsessed with.
ReplyDeleteHe teases me mercilessly, and thinks it's rediculous that I get so much joy from something written for teens.
So in return, I got him hooked on facebook Texas hold'em online poker. Thus giving him something to do and leave me to my obsession. This has worked marvelously! I highly recommend it.
This was the best blog entry to date. Your spouses are the best! I'd love to know who goes with who, I was only able to figure a few of them out.
ReplyDeleteI'll give a hint for mine...my husband is a tournament bass fisher....
ReplyDeleteI wonder who he could be...
And my daughters have personally met and touched Rob...just saying...it may have been in NY...
Hint: My husband thinks Alice would like him. A lot.
ReplyDeletemy husband thinks he's funny.
ReplyDeleteand if he was a superhero we would call him Captain Lifeguard.
sigh. i need a new life.