Breaking Up Breaking Dawn
Twilight, the Movie? Been there, done that; got the DVD.
The Twilight Saga: New Moon? Been there, done that; waiting on March 20th.
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse? Will be there, will do that…on June 30th.
The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn? Hmmm…
Remember that scene in Jurassic Park where Jeff Goldblum scolds Sir Richard Attenborough for blithely bringing back to life a bunch of extinct creatures that have, since their rebirth, discovered a tasty new food source? He says that the scientists got so caught up in if they could do it, they never stopped to consider if they should do it.
There could be a movie made from Breaking Dawn; the question is…should there be?
Walk into a hypothetical Twilight fanfiction fan gathering, bring up the topic of the fourth book and we all know what would happen. Opinions running the gamut from loved it to hated it would be heard; hotly contested debates would spring into motion. Remember the passion exhibited by both sides when the book was released? The strength of those feelings has died down over the years; but the release of a movie based on the fourth book would no doubt regenerate a lot of that old discussion. Are the fans ready for the acrimony and negativity to spring to life again? Or will the BD haters simply yawn and stay away?
I’ve never done a survey, but I believe there actually may be more Breaking Dawn haters among aficionados of Twifiction than among your standard everyday Twilight fans. I’ve learned that a lot of us in the Twidom turned to fanfiction when we felt disappointed in BD.
In an effort at full disclosure, I must admit that I actually highly enjoyed Breaking Dawn. I’m not bringing up the possibility that a BD movie would be ill-advised because I hated the book; I honestly didn’t. I do, however, have my reasons for feeling slightly queasy at the thought of BD on the big screen. Part of me believes in order to be truly comfortable attending a midnight showing of BD: the movie, I would need a paper bag to wear over my head. I’m curious, but I don’t want anyone to know I’m curious. Frankly, there are things from the book that I really want to see on the big screen and then there are other things best kept in print.
So, as an impartial observer, here’s my list of pros and cons on whether or not there should be a BD movie:
3. The wedding. Hey, I’m a chick. Of course I want to see the wedding.
2. More R Pattz as Edward. Specifically, all my personal favorite Edward moments from the book: his stupefied initial reaction to Bella’s pregnancy; the argument and subsequent deal struck between Jake and Edward, the opportunity to show Edward bonding with his child (which was lacking in the book) and the very ending when at long last Edward can read Bella’s mind.
1. You know. Come on…say it with me…the number one reason to make Breaking Dawn into a movie…in two words…the honeymoon. On an uninhabited, tropical island, our two favorite virgins finally learn what all the fuss is about. And, let me be the first to warn any potential moviemakers, if only a kiss is shown before the camera pans away to some generic scene of natural beauty, you better hope a real life Isle Esme is available to you for your own safety, because the fans will annihilate you. Seriously. (Hey, I just call ‘em like I see ‘em…)
2. The non-battle at the end. I understand SM’s reasoning for it in the book and it’s OK to read, but to watch it on the screen? I fear it will be risibly boring. Think of any cinematic masterpiece that includes an epic battle at its climax (“Braveheart” or “Return of the King” or “Glory” comes to mind.) Now picture the two armies gathered to do battle, standing there talking things over for half an hour before one side calmly walks away. Oh baby, that’s entertainment!
1. You know. Come on…say it with me…the number one reason not to make Breaking Dawn into a movie…in two words…the birth. What’s my biggest fear? That however talented the moviemakers are at creating special effects, it’s going to look like a Wayans’ Bros. parody of that scene from “Alien”. There will be blood…and a newborn with teeth. There will also be laughter and you really don’t want the audience laughing at this point in the story.
So, if the decision was mine to make, and I had the entire original cast and my choice of directors at my disposal, would I give it the green light? It’s doubtful. If the screenplay really knocked by socks off, then the answer would be…maybe. But lucky for me, I don’t have to make these big decisions; some Hollywood bigwig already has. Yes, there will be a Breaking Dawn movie sometime in 2011. Now I only have to decide if I’m going to spend time and money on seeing it.
And if I do…what size paper bag I’ll need to cover my head.
Come on…I know everyone has an opinion on this. Yes or no? Should there be a BD movie? Will you go see it? What are you looking forward to seeing? What about the movie makes you feel decidedly squeamish?