The Challenge with Neat Little Boxes

Dear Mr. Vernon,

we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain... and an athlete... and a basket case... a princess... and a criminal... Does that answer your question?

Sincerely yours,

The Breakfast Club

John Hughes was brilliant. Twenty five years later, that quote from the closing lines of The Breakfast Club still holds true.

People try to put us in boxes. It’s human nature to want to classify or define. Twi-hards, Twimoms, Robsten Shippers...all different titles applied in an effort to neatly organize people into categories. We have them in real life, and we have them in Fan Fiction too.

But the reality is, no one ever fits cleanly into one little box. Daughter, sister, friend, mother, there are so many ways that we can be classified.

A number of us hide our Twilight affection. Fan fiction, movies, books – we lock that part of us away from real life, choosing instead to share it with a community of anonymous people hidden behind clever screen names. But over time, those anonymous names may come to life. Twitter, email, and gchat break down our constraints (location, time zone, etc) and we start to get to know the person, not the identity. We start to clump together based on our interests, our senses of humor or preferences, and somewhere along the way, real life and fan fiction start to blend. That random name becomes a person, one that might even be called a friend. It’s in that melding of real and online that something magical happens.

We came together because we read books that, for whatever reason, we couldn’t put out of our heads. Through sparkly vamps and klutzy girls we started to transcend the stories and become something more. We form support networks for the good times and bad. We bond together in grief and in laughter. We raise money for charity and commit random acts of kindness.

I can only think of one box that defines all those traits. Friendship.

In the past few months, a number of things have happened in this fandom that has crystallized our relationships. We have lost members long before their time; we’ve supported others as they struggle with loss, illness, divorce, natural disaster, and a myriad of other things. We’ve laughed and cried together. We’ve lashed out in anger, only to find a sympathetic ear or shoulder who can help us work through our frustrations. Put those actions in a box and try and define them without describing it as friendship. I dare you.

When I first joined this fandom, I was worried about what people would think if they found me out. I’m married; a mom who is gainfully employed and has a nice normal life. Would people consider me strange because I was fascinated by the books? Would they judge me differently if they knew what I wrote about?

A year later, I have a different perspective, as colored by the amazing women I’ve interacted with. While diverse in our upbringings, ages, backgrounds and life stage, I’ve formed a common bond with so many people in this fandom, and that has allowed me to change my perspective. Let the world look down on me for my attachment to the books. Let my husband tease me as I met up with three friends in Chicago to go see New Moon, or have dinner with other online friends in Detroit, in New York, or San Francisco when I travel. The world may choose to classify those actions as one of a geek or a nerd, but I refuse to be defined by those things, and I refuse to let anyone else define us this way.

We came into this fandom for one reason, but we stick around for so much more. We look forward to the summer, to Comicon and the release of Eclipse. We talk eagerly about what will or will not happen with the release of Breaking Dawn. Peppered in those conversations are discussions about what to have for dinner, boyfriends, PMS, and even the random ogling of Rob. I challenge anyone to define those conversations as anything other than friendship.

Twitard,Twihard,Twi-mom. Let them try and box us in. We all know better.

My use of The Breakfast Club quote at the beginning of this article was not random. We came in assuming one thing, and it became something so much more. Thank you, fandom, for disproving the stereotype and showing that we are much more than what can be contained in one little box.

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Hmonster4 proudly wears her heart on her sleeve and wears her fandom colors proudly. When not trying to spread sunshine and rainbows, she enjoys bribing people with dark chocolate dipped twinkies, championing lesser known fics, and wishing for warmer weather.