Column: Pastiche Pen's Advice On The Newbie Power & The Fandom Tower

How to Win Friends and Influence People to Read Your Story

Internet: absolute communication, absolute isolation.
~Paul Carvel

At its most basic, boring, blasé level, fan fiction is nothing more than a cluster of free shit plunkered on cyberpaper that anyone and their brother, uncle, sister, ugly aunt, or institutionalized cousin can use to sauté their lingering brain cells. That’s to say, with no interaction, no exchange, and no community, fan fiction is just a cold, empty wasteland of cracked egg shells and sprinting desert tumbleweed.

That is… until we connect.


Right, so I’m more make-ya-wanna-retch-CHEESY than drinking orange juice mixed with curdly milk. But like the quote above points out—what makes fan fiction tangible to us crazy addicts are the connections forged between and among authors and readers. Writing on its own is a forsaken habit. It’s an act of narcissism in the way that an author tortures theirs thoughts into something called a story. What effectively guts the ego is the act of publishing—putting yourself “out there,” and what’s so unique about fan fiction is that once you’re out there, the capability to interact and discuss a stories is like a massive, beautiful hunk of Play-Dough. You can just mold and shape it and twist it and grow it and ... !


Pastiche will stop now.


I talked about “functions” and “tools” in my previous article, this article is really about leveraging those tools and “plugging in” to the community, so I’m going to be a twit and just start my pedantic spouting of maxims:

Step I in Your Path to FANDOMing Suavity:

Good Writers Make Good Readers

Good Writers Make Good Reviewers


If you’re a good writer, you should be a good reader, and if you’re a good reader, you should be a good reviewer. To even be a twig in the community tree, you have to REVIEW. Now, I’m infringing on Dirty Uncle’s territory here, so for the sake of protecting my back side from her long, thick cane, I’ll be to the point.


1. If you read, review. Basic. If you’ve written a story, you know how fucking irritating it is to look at your stats and see that roughly only 3-4% of readers review. Clearly, some of those “hits” are actually accidents, crawlers, spiders, etc. but a large number are leeching sloths. It’s just free-loading sukkage—and since you’re a writer, you know better than to do that.

2. Review every chapter. This is called “spamming” – unlike real world cyber-spam, it’s delectable, like a five course meal, or ten, or twenty.

3. Write analytical reviews. 90% of all reviews are not reviews but reactions. This is hunky-dory, but if you write something thoughtful—and discuss (OMG!) the WRITING, it makes authors (even those of us who loathe the sound) give a [mental] squee.


Case In Point:

Fiberkitty, author of Lost & Found and The Ties That Bind

The best ways to promote yourself and get your name out there are to review other stories. I read and reviewed stories by isabel0329 and manyafandom. They in turn read my stories. We formed an online friendship, and later I was invited to join the already existing Perv Pack because of our mutual love of great smut.

Step II in Your Path to FANDOMing Suavity:

A Good Review Deserves a Good Reply


1. Say Thank You. When you first start a story, you should always reply to the reviews, even if it’s just a thank you. Why? Because these kind folks took a chance on your verbiage and then showed the love with a review

2. Friendships are formed in steps… a writer reviews, you reply, she PMs, and you PM. A week later there’s a forum exchange… etc, etc. The review and the reply are steps one and two.

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PMing Is Not S&Ming

Well, not at first… That’s all I have to say. See above.

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Step III in Your Path to FANDOMing Suavity:

Flirting Is Best Done on the Forums


1. I mean the Twilighted.net forums. The forums on FF are role-playing and movie weirdness.

2. Don’t post your own thread until you have enough forum-posting readers to maintain a thread. You might even consider waiting for someone to offer to post for you. Or get your beta to do it. Otherwise, no one will post on it, it will make you sad, and there will have been no point.

3. Niche stories almost never do well on the forums. Alternate Universe-Human is the busiest, followed by Alternate Universe.

4. Posting regularly on other people’s threads grabs attention. On making friends: You post on hers. She posts on yours. You giggle. You check out her story, or she checks out yours. It’s awesome. More post to post. Individual PMs exchanged. Eventually you end up on gchat. A friend made.


What Other People Have to Say on Forums:

I’mwiththevampires08, author of Bittersweet Symphony

Well, I'd say that as an author, it's really great to be able to talk to other readers and get their input on things that they enjoy, especially concerning the story you are writing. I can't begin to tell you how many friends I've made because of writing a story and because of the forums. I think that, especially as an author, when you get stuck, it's those dedicated readers that you find on the forums that will help you out in any way that's possible—not to mention the crazy ones out there willing to talk and joke about anything, myself included. The sharing of pictures, mutual likes or dislikes, brings the writer and reader together in ways that PMing or email cannot - because it allows other readers to read and comment on things being said.

Americnxidiot, Imbiber of Cascade and Cyanide and Queen of a ridiculously popular forum thread

The popularity of a thread depends on a few things. The most popular threads are generally the ones for smutty stories, because the smut allows for a lot of playful banter, flirting, etc., but I think the reason my thread [she means C&C – YGMCTG is porn-popular, Pastiche notes ] is fairly popular is because of the subject of my story. If it's a story where people can ask questions or ponder what's going to happen, then the thread is more likely to be popular. As an author, I'm also more inclined to answer questions on the thread since everyone can see my answers. Plus, you can make some great friends on the forums since you get to talk to people outside of review replies and PMs. It humanizes both the readers and the author. [And in fact, Pastiche harassed her on her thread until she came and played in gchat.]

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Friends Breed Word-of-Mouth

Love Means Acts of Grandeur in the Village Square

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So, as far as the fan fiction hobby goes, there’s nothing better than discovering a mutual love between yourself and another author. The fact that SHE loves your story, too... GAH! There’s a reason the forums are filled with so many sex jokes. The feeling goes deep and low. Thus, friends promote their friends’ stories: on the forums, in reviews, in contests, on gchat, and on blogs.


Yes, now you understand why this blog is so incestuous (heheh). We can’t HELP it. We just love each other so much it’s like one big inbred orgy. Grossly gratifying. (And Smellyia, purty please don’t kill me for writing this...)

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Warning: the Internet may contain traces of nuts.
~Author Unknown

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And yet I must caveat on making friends: DO NOT EXPECT IT.

1. Just like in real life, not everyone “clicks” —you might not be Edward—you may be the Jacob. Yes, even if you love another author’s story, she may not love yours—and you shouldn’t take that personally. People are weird, especially about what they read.

2. Fan Fiction authors are skittish people, especially the ‘popular’ (Pastiche rolls eyes) ones—but they are that way for a REASON. Like, if you were Rob-popular, you would wear ugly sunglasses, pile on three coats, never shave, and fear public stabbing as well—‘cause fan girls can be SCARY. (Ask AG. There’s a reason she lives in the middle of nowhere—it’s SAFER. Heh.)

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The Internet is the world's largest library. It's just that all the books are on the floor.
~John Allen Paulos

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Finally, do not feel a need to buy into names. It’s fucking fan fiction. We’re copycating Stephenie Meyer. When people talk about how “original” a story is, I laugh—long and hard. No one on FF is “breaking ground” and there are no authors who couldn’t improve in some way (okay, maybe two people… and they’d be the first to admit their own weaknesses) so feel free to take the initiative and form your own circles—find other stories that you like and chat up with the authors. Make your own “book piles.” Grow together. More cheese, I know—but you get the point.



So, so long, and happy friending!



***The next article will be on the “public” side of community: contests, blogs, author’s notes, etc. – so don’t ask me why I didn’t cover it, cuz I will. Promise. Promise.

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Pastiche Pen's Tip: Read some real literature every once in a while. It helps one keep perspective.

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Pastiche Pen is a propagator of fanfic reader and writer love and a fellow believer in fandom hippie values (yes, ya'll know who wrote this). You can find her here. Go review her. Become her friend and others, because she would agree that it's all about spreading the love. But not that big, grossly gratifying inbred orgy love. That's just wrong.