CharacterExploration: AHward - A Rose By Another Name Wouldn't Smell As Sweet

AHward
By:

americnxidiot

Doucheward. Tattward. Geekward. Shyward. Dickward. Fuckward. Frennyward. Bikeward. Scotchward. Bardward. Skittleward. Gayward. Pedoward. Cuffward. Marineward. BATward. Vladward. HIPSward. Priestward. Catholicward. Domward. Balticward. Whoreward. Beautiful Bastard. The Sugar Queen. Curseward. Chefward. Reboundward. Thrustward. Trustward. Logicward. Rich Kid. Resistward. SWCIFD. Youngward. Poetward. Flannelward. Authorward. Debussy_88. Eddie. Betaward. Humpward. Blindward. Deafward. Teddyward. Pinkieward. Stutterward. Sweaterward. Daddyward. Fallingward. Hoboward. And so on, and so on, and so on.

It’s enough to give a girl (and the occasional guy) a headache.

I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that most of us fell a lot in love with Edward Cullen while reading The Twilight Saga. In fact he’s probably the reason that most of us started reading fanfiction in the first place. I’m no different. I felt unjustly robbed by the lack of sparkle peen in that meadow at the end of Eclipse, and I wanted some more Edward in my life, preferably sans pants. For the first few weeks, I guzzled down smutty vamp one-shots like it was my job.

But somewhere along the lines, things changed. I read Passion Fish, the now defunct all-human fic where Edward and Bella meet during a blindfolded kiss. I was a little confused because Edward wasn’t 107 and he wasn’t a virgin, but I read it nonetheless. And then I read

Meyer University

. And then

Boycotts and Barflies

and

A rite of passage

and

Only Human

, and that was all it took. I was hooked on green-eyed, flushed-cheeked Edward.

I’m here today to sheepishly attempt to figure out the phenomenon that is all-human Edward. What makes us love him so much? Why do we choose to read/write about him, and what makes him so appealing?

---

Who says Edward can’t be a Swedish body-builder?

Plus he doesn't creep on you while you're sleeping.

"All human" is kind of a strange concept if you think about it. For some reason, we love making some popcorn and reading along happily as authors take our sweet, stubborn, virginal vampire and turn him into all kinds of depraved teenagers/young adults/men. AHward is at once a sexual deviant, a renaissance man, the quiet boy in the back of the classroom, and the troubled teen who just needs the love of a young Bella to set him straight.

That really is the appeal of writing all-human Edward: he can really be whoever you want him to be.

Vampward is great, but he has a lot of restrictions. If you’re using SMeyer’s canon (for powers and the like), then you have to make sure that everything fits together. Even if you’re going for straight AU, it’s a lot harder to come up with a plausible, original story line while still appealing to your readers. Maybe it’s just me, but having written Vampward and AHward, I find Vampward much more difficult to write.

The only thing that's really consistent with AHward is his physical appearance: bronze hair, green eyes, tall, and generally lean and in good shape. Everything else is up to you. He might play piano, but he doesn't have to. He might hate 60's music (one of the most ridiculous traits of canon Edward, in my opinion), but he might love it. He can be Tupac's number one fan if you want him to be.

All human gives us the gift of variety. It also gives us the chance to write what we know. Do you work at a law firm and find yourself inspired by the cute new intern who is probably too young for you? You can channel that into a Lawyerward, like the one in

I Hate You, Kiss Me

by stacybumblebee. Did you really love Sixteen Candles and can't get that last scene out of your head? Write a JakeRyanward like in

Seventeen Cakes

by vanessarae.

There is also a certain amount of originality that can come into play with AHward. All human allows the writer to flex his/her original fiction muscles without having to actually write original fiction. You can take the parameters set by SMeyer and then let your imagination run wild. I've written a horny teenager, a loner suffering from mental illness, a bitter ex-piano player, a father fighting for a doll for his daughter, and a few others; and my Edwards are just a glimpse into what is out there as far as all human fics.

As a reader, AHward has the same appeal that he does for writers. Everyone gets tired of vampires eventually, even if only slightly, and the human genre lets us keep loving on Edward while reading something a little different.

---

A rose by any other name does not smell as sweet.

"My name's Edward. Are you ready to do me now?"

I’m going to be blunt for a second and make a potentially controversial statement: almost all human Edward’s are not "Edward" as we know him. They’re just not. I can probably list the truly “in character” human Edwards I’ve read on one-hand. Most AHwards are so out of character and so far removed from canon, that we’re left with someone who might be devastatingly appealing, but is really “Edward” in name only.

Ah… but that’s the thing, isn’t it?

His name is Edward, and therefore we jump right on board.

This provides a lot of freedom for the all-human author. We can write a male character pretty much any way we want. Stick some bronze hair atop his head and give him green eyes, and we as a fandom are loving on him. Give him russet skin and a few more inches, and we are shaking our fists and cursing the author for making a Jacob who is only there to stand in the way of true love.

Now of course it’s not as simple as this. But us Edward enthusiasts are often a stubborn breed. I know it frustrates people when they try to recommend a non-canon fic to me, and I shoot it down simply because Bella is paired with someone else. I can’t help it. My devotion to Edward does not allow me to truly enjoy when his lady-love is loving on someone else. But take Jasper and give him the right hair color and name? Then I probably won’t have a problem with it.

In summary, when I asked people on twitter what makes a fic too out of character for them to read, one lovely reader answered, “There is no such thing as too out of character, as long as they have the right names.”

Keep that little tidbit in mind as I lamely segue into my next section.

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How far is too far out of character?

The mullet does not approve of your shenanigans.

This is where things get tricky for the AHward. Because there is so much available variety in the all human world, there are going to be stories that some people say take it too far. Everyone has different tastes, and therefore everyone is going to have a different tolerance for depravity and extreme-out-of-character behavior. It's really a matter of personal opinion.

Because of this sort of "personalization" of our own ideal fics, I couldn't come up with these on my own. So I asked some readers and authors what they thought made a story/character too out there for them to enjoy. I got back a ton of different answers, so I thought I'd just list a few of more common things here. A huge thank you to my friends on twitter for helping me out with this.

SOME READERS DO NOT LIKE:

• when Edward's behavior is not consistent with the canon
• excessively violent Edward
• when Edward and Bella aren't drawn to each other immediately
• a "shockingly stupid or mean" Edward
• Edward paired with someone he is related to by blood/family in canon
• poor (as in not wealthy) Edward
• slash
• Edward not paired with Bella
• possessive/psychotic Edward
• cheating Edward
• abusive Edward
• Edward on hard drugs
• unexplained out-of-character behavior

Some of these qualities are probably universally disliked. Not many of us want to read a fic where Edward is a cruel and sadistic sexual predator. But others are entirely a matter of opinion.

For example, I won't read stories where Edward and Bella are with other people unless it's really really well written slash (oh, and Bella cannot be in the story at all in order for me to enjoy it). I've enjoyed stories where Edward is a drug addict, and I think the poor Edward in

Legacy

by autumndreamer is entirely endearing.

This is one of the best things about AHward. If you don't like one genre, there are tons of others out there for you to choose from.

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Everybody knows that the ‘ward is the word.

As you can probably see from the very beginning of this tl;dr (too long;don't read [AG takes pity on the acronym impaired.]) article, there are way too many kinds of ‘ward for me to go into all of them here. So I picked three of the ‘wards that I think have made the biggest impact… or maybe just the first three that jumped to mind.

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"Bitch thinks she's hot enough to tap this?"

Doucheward

He is that guy you hated in high school. The one who laughed with his friends when you drunkenly admitted he was cute at a party. The one in college who looked at you like you were the only girl in existence, then stopped talking to you once he got in your pants.

In fic he tends to fully claim his devastating good looks and uses them to play every girl in the tri-county area. Though frequently drunk, he magically evades STDs and teen pregnancy while sticking it to whoever will let him. And yet there is something about the Doucheward that makes us want to read about him again and again. Maybe it’s the joy of his redemption, maybe it’s the vicarious pleasure we feel watching Bella bring this tool to his knees, but he’s been one of the most popular ‘wards since the AH genre really took off.

There's not much more I can say, so I'll let a primo Doucheward explain it for me.

QUOTE from

I Like You So Much Better When You're Naked

by marve and wish_girl:

FuckinmotherfuckinMonday. I rolled over in my bed, accidentally knocking what's-her-face to the floor. She squealed her indignation at me and I shrugged. Occupational Hazard of sleeping with an Adonis.

And by Adonis, I mean me.

Damn it feels good to be a gangstah.

Some Douchewards for your consideration:

Ladders

by Marve

The Caged Bird

by Kristen Nicole

Faking It

by spanglemaker9

---

"I wish I were your derivative, so I could lie tangent to your curves."

Geekward/Outcastward

This Edward is the anti-doucheward. He makes your heart hurt, because he’s just so sweet and doesn’t think he stands a chance. He’s often shy and nerdy, and may be really close with his parents. Sometimes he’s just geeky enough to give him a hard time picking up girls, but other times he is a complete loner without any friends or sense of purpose. Either way, we can’t help but find him completely endearing.

The object of his affection might be a Bella that is beautiful and well-liked, or she might be just as much of a loner as he is. We watch in heartfelt awe as the unlikely couple grows closer, and the Geekward slowly but surely gets his happily ever after. It’s every high school fantasy come to life.

Some Geekwards/Outcastwards for your consideration:

Bright Like the Sun

by Dryler

Real Relationship: A Geeky Love Story

by booksforme

Boy in the Red Sweater

by starrynytex

Bad Boys and Book Nerds

by MPants

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"So many guys, so little time..."

Gayward

This is actually one of the few ‘wards that I have trouble getting on board with, mostly because I don’t really read non-canon pairings. But there’s definitely something about the idea of a PYT like Edward cozying up with an equally handsome dude. His partner is usually Jasper in fic, though he may also be Carlisle or some other person. The two (and sometimes three) meet and sparks fly, whether Edward and boy know they are gay or not. They can’t resist the chemistry and before they know it, the two (or three!) are making beautiful boy/boy music together.

Plus, there’s usually buttsecks. Some people are really into reading that.






Some Gaywards for your consideration (as recced by my friends):

Show Me a Garden That’s Bursting Into Life

by atypical-swan

What I Failed to Realize

by Beautiful Figment

Begin Again

by C-Me-Smile

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After all the time, I can say without a doubt that Edward is my favorite character in the saga. Whether vamp or human, I can't help but have a soft spot for that pale sort-of-redhead. I think I'll probably be reading and writing different AHwards until I finally say goodbye to fanfiction at some point in the future.

If I had to pick one kind of AHward as my favorite, I would probably say Geekward/Outcastward, because I'm a sucker for good fluff and awkward boys. Plus that kind of angst just tears at my heart in the best way.

So I ask you, wonderful people who managed to get through this longass character exploration:

What's yours?

---

americnxidiot

is the author of such AHwards as

Bikeward

,

Eddie

, and

Has-a-fucked-up-handward

. Her stubborn refusal to read non-canon pairings has caused her friends to dub her "Queen Vanilla", but she is unapologetic. Don't mention Deadward to her unless you are looking for a fight.

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Archived Explorations:

Upcoming Characters:

Fic Bella, Jessica, Sam/Billy, The Volturi, James/Victoria, Rosalie, Seth, Lauren.