Hoosier Mama here reporting to you direct from the Heartland with all the news that is news in the Twidom. Without further ado, here they are, the big stories for the newly begun year, 2010…
With the third biggest fanbase on the site, you’d think they’d want to keep us Twifans well-fed and happy…
The fine folks at fanfiction.net have struck again, doing their best to keep the World Wide Web “Disney-esque”: clean, pure and smut-free. (Yeah, good luck with that…) I know it’s their site and it’s their prerogative and it’s a touchy subject and it’s never going to be resolved to everyone’s satisfaction, so…I’ll write no more.
Two authors (of High Anxiety and How to Save a Life) discovered a new level of angst this month: the “I-want-to-rip-my-own-head-off-to-keep-from-enduring-anymore” level…
What’s with all the super angsty chapter updates lately? Yikes! As if living through this endless, dreary winter isn’t bad enough, a lot of our favorite authors are kicking us in the teeth with bitter breakups and unforgivable actions. Authors! Take pity! Stop the madness!
Personally speaking, part of me wants to quit reading because I can’t handle anymore heartfail, but I absolutely love these stories! I know I won’t stop because I need resolution, but I also need a break from all the angst. I need a strong dose of levity and some heart-pounding romance for balance. Luckily, I recently fell into Work in Progress (in one word: hysterical) and Hide and Drink. (It’s Twilight from EPOV if Edward’s control over his thirst wasn’t quite so good; it’s dark, sensual, and yes, romantic …in a macabre, twisted way.)
Scientists prove internet addicts are more depressed than non-internet addicts. (Could it be due to the recently discovered high level of angst in Twifics?)
From the U.K., The Guardian online reporter Adam Gabbatt writes that scientists at Leeds University have learned that internet addicts are more likely to suffer depression than non-addicts. Hold the phone! Addicts are depressed? Who knew? Ya think maybe that’s why they became addicted to something in the first place? It makes them feel better? They couldn’t possibly be using the internet to escape from depressing, joy-less lives could they?
The article also said that “internet addicts spent proportionately more time browsing sexually gratifying websites…” Holy smokes! Is that the real reason we’re all addicted to Twilight fanfiction? Because we’re all perverts “browsing” for sexual gratification? I feel like I’ve been caught watching porn by a bunch of nerdy guys in white lab coats.
Sexually gratifying websites? OK, so maybe some fics could be considered to be sexually gratifying (for example, all the fics no longer available on ff.net… *cough, cough*) but every one of us could come up with a list of fics that are popular and have little to no sex at all. These stories are about the chase, the sexual tension, all the drama that leads up to…well…sexual gratification. Hydraulic Level Five, The University of Edward Masen, and The Cannabean Betrothal are all filled with UST. No Twifans in their right minds would read them to be sexually gratified. So maybe we’re not all perverts…at least not all the time.
And finally… Ms. Kathy’s efforts raise over $75,000 for Haiti Relief. Proof positive that though scientists believe we’re “sexually gratified” perverts, Twifans are also bighearted and generous…
Kudos to Ms.Kathy for her Twifans for Haiti Author Compilation. If you missed it, the compilation is 1795 pages of yummy one-shots, out-takes, etc. made possible by the contribution of 260 authors. It’ll keep you happily reading for days; I guarantee it. According to the Twifans for Haiti website, over $75,000 has been raised. Thanks Ms.Kathy, for giving us Twi-pervs the opportunity to show the world we may be perverts--but we’re good people too, doing our part to help others in need.
So that’s the Twidom news as I see it for the newly begun year 2010. Did I miss a major news item? Let me know! In the mean time Twifans, keep practicing your 3 R’s: reading, ‘riting and reviewing.
A/N: Thanks OlgaNYC for your words of wisdom, your rec’s, and your friendship. Your PM’s were sparkles-like-diamonds sunshine during a depressing, dreary week.