Tuesday, September 29, 2009

FicDive: Shiny, Pearly, Trashy Jasper

Finding Pearly Pieces of Jasper
Where You'd Least Expect Them...

Diver Alias: Peach (a.k.a. LaViePastiche)

Mission: Jasper paired with…not Alice, the more absurd the pairing, the better.
Parameters: Jasper, M rating

The Pearl: Neverending Math Equation by twanza

Summary: Based in Brooklyn. Edward and Jasper are brothers, each dealing with grief, ego, passion, and the clash between the desire for fame and the pursuit of true art. What role will Bella play? AH/AU. Canon couples with, perhaps, a few excursions. Twilight - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 13,905 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 9-25-09 - Published: 9-19-09 - Jasper & Edward

Why I Read This:
I failed at absurd Jasper pairings because so few exist and most of them were horribly unrec-able (though I have become terribly intrigued with Jasper/Jane). This one looks like slash because it’s E/J, but it’s not. They are brothers, and while the story says canon couples, it at least begins with tons of non-canon (Carlisle with Elizabeth, Jasper’s ex is Rosalie and he is interested in Bella, Edward is interested in Alice). It’s smart, well-written, and the story is intriguing. Jasper is a tattoo artist who owns a shop in NYC, and he’s hot. Edward is a shaggy musician and math wiz, and he’s hot. He hasn’t seen Jasper in four years and the story starts with him flying to NY and crashing on Jasper’s couch. Definitely deserving of more than the three reviews for four chapters and has the potential to be a very interesting and angsty read.

Diver Alias: Monkey (a.k.a. ElleCC)

Mission: Jasper with no one in particular
Parameters: Jasper, any rating

The Pearl: Jasper’s Musings by Cullen86ers

Summary: What follows are the random musings of one Jasper Whitlock Hale. These are little snip-its of the random things Jasper may be thinking at any time. Rated M because a southern boy loves to cuss! Twilight - Rated: M - English - Humor/General - Chapters: 16 - Words: 14,669 - Reviews: 28 - Updated: 9-24-09 - Published: 6-9-09 - Jasper

Why I Read This:
Okay, this was ridiculously difficult. I went nearly blind after four hours and over four pages of links, trying to find something different. What I finally decided on was this, which is mostly just funny. It’s a series of Jasper’s thoughts, as he might write them in a journal. It sucked me in with some lists: why he loves shit kickers (“Because it reminds me – a little – of my human life”) and Alice (“Because she always grabs my butt and says it’s her favorite hand warmer in the world when I say ‘My butt looks big in these jeans!’”), along with why he hates Emmett (“He is WAY too open about his relationship with Rosalie”), Edward (“Because it is so easy to make him try to block your thoughts - so why the hell doesn’t he do that to begin with?”), and himself (“Because it took me 100 years to walk away”). Those things kept me amused and interested long enough to get to Mama Whitlock’s recipe for peanut butter soup and to read about Jasper’s passion for the “There Once Was a Man from Nantucket” poem (he doesn’t understand why people laugh when he recites it).

What we’re dealing with here is Vampsper, but as you might have guessed, he’s rather OOC. It’s funny with the occasional bittersweet, and, in places, does provide some pretty smart insights into Jasper. He’s a bit self-loathing, which makes me want to snuggle him. I consider my dive to be a success because, even though he’s with Alice, the journal-style entries provide me with the “Jasper alone” type of story for which I was looking. The writing isn’t the tightest, but because of the nature of the fic, I’m okay with that. Also, because I rarely read humor pieces – and none of those center around Jasper – this is a welcome addition to my extensive Jasper library.


  1. I second the Neverending Math Equation recommendation. You will not read anything like it in Twilight fan fic dom, people! Believe it.

  2. Thank you, thank you, thank you...from the bottom of my obsessed heart. For the recommendation, for the reviews and for simply reading! I am a bit *techfail* and right now the only way to reach me is on ff...but let me know what you think! xoxoxox twanza


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