Wednesday, September 9, 2009

FandomFluff: Holy FanFic Quiz!

Holy Fanfic! Quiz

Hoosier Mama

So when you’re happy (Hurray!) or sad (Aw!)

Or frightened (Eeeek!) or mad (Rats!)

Or excited (Wow!) or glad (Hey!)

An interjection starts a sentence right.

-Schoolhouse Rock – 1974

Bella Swan may not be our favorite character, but she does use the most bizarre, singular interjection known to the world of literature. When you see it, you instantly know who spoke it. I don’t believe fanfic writers are too enthralled with it, since I don’t remember reading any fanfics that actually use the phrase, so if you’ve forgotten it, here it is:

Holy Crow!

My question, which only Stephenie Meyer can answer, is…

For the love of God woman, why? Why “holy crow!”? The first time I read it in Twilight, I thought it was another typo. Honestly. The correct interjection, as any Chicago baseball fan knows, is “holy cow!” not “holy crow!” I mean…for crying out loud, who says that? Is this some Phoenix thing? An Arizona thing or dare I ask it…a Mormon thing? Did Stephenie research interjections common among teenagers in the Pacific Northwest and learn that “holy crow!” is the exclamation of choice in that part of the country? Or did she mistakenly believe people around her were saying “holy crow!” all of her life when they were actually saying “holy cow!”? I mean, they don’t even rhyme! How could she make that mistake?

There are tons of interjections that begin with the word “holy” that she could have used. (Just ask Robin. “Holy semantics, Batman! What do those words mean?”)

Holy Fanfic! Quiz

For your reading pleasure, here is my Holy Fanfic! Quiz. Most of the phrases below are interjections, but not all; and all of them include some form of the word “holy”. See how many you can guess correctly. Answers are below.

Three-letter word for a four-legged animal that is (apparently) never seen, used, or mentioned anywhere at all, not even once, in all of the fandom: Holy  cow !

1. One of two such characters (Nick & Nora) from “
The Lost Boys
”: Holy _____.

2. An unidentified bad guy whose existence Edward learns about from Seth in “
”: Holy ____y!

3. Something Charlie might bring home on a typical weekend (if he lived on the east coast): Holy _______!

4. What Edward does in “
Oh, Inverted World
” that Bella asks him to stop after their first kiss: Holy ______!

5. The one-word plural interjection that extremely sheltered Christian schoolgirl Bella thinks in “
The Caged Bird
” the first time she notices bad boy Edward’s Doc Martens while he’s resting his legs on a carrel in the library “_____!”

6. Something Bella is sorely lacking (in my opinion) in the real world but has plenty of while dreaming in “
Sleepers, Awake
”: Holy ______.

7. Five word religious phrase likely to be used by Bella in “
Twice as Long as Yesterday
”: “____ ____, ______ __ ___!”

8. Expletive used in many fics. (Spoken repeatedly by John Belushi in arguably the funniest scene in Animal House.) In “
Mr. Horrible
” it’s thought by Edward at the drag show when Alice sees him for the first time & immediately knows him: “____ ____!”

9. City 115 miles west of the baseball team Bella supposedly roots for in “
Breakfast at Tiffany’s
”: Holy ______!

10. In “
Hydraulic Level 5
” it is the email reply that a more than tipsy Bella dictates to a drunken Alice at the keyboard: “Dear Cullen: You white-hot unholy _____-______!” (You get a bonus point if you can recall what drunken Alice actually types and sends: “Dear Cullen, you _____-___ ______ ___________...”)


      1. ʇsoɥƃ
      2. əloɯ
      3. ləɹəʞɔɐɯ (a fish only found in the Atlantic, unfortunately…)
      4. səʞoɯs
      5. ¡sʎloɥ
      6. ʇıɹıds
      7. poƃ ɟo ɹəɥʇoɯ 'ʎɹɐɯ ʎloɥ
      8. ʇıɥs ʎloɥ
      9. opəloʇ
      10. ɹəʞɔnɥ-ɟɟılɔ

      Bonus: …ɹəʞɔnɥɟɟılɔ ʎloɾun ʇoɾ-əʇıɥʍ

If you got everything correct:
Congratulations! You are obsessed, and you’re in good company.

10 to 7 correct:
Not bad. You read and still apparently have a life outside of fan fiction.

6 to 3 correct:
What have you been doing with all your time? You better start reading…

Less than 3 correct:
Who are you and why exactly are you reading this blog??

This has been a Fandom Fluffy Moment brought to you by
Hoosier Mama


  1. Bwhahahaha - I didn't even get the one about my own fic...going for my coffee now! Thanks for the laugh ladies!!

  2. This made me happy. I thought I was the only one who didn't get this "holy crow" business. It really bugged me more than it should have, so thanks for writing this. :)

  3. My boss says "holy crow" all of the time, so seeing it in the books didn't set off any WTF-dar for me.

    She lived in Arizona for a long time, so I always thought it was some AZ wacky expression or something.

  4. Oh this column cracked me up! I loved it! I don't recall Bella saying "Holy Crow" but it's been a while since I've picked up the books...I'll definitely be looking for it if I re-read them again.

    In RL I am a big fan of "Holy ____." I use it all the time, and if a chapter is really amazing or exciting or smutty it usually shows up in my reviews as well. (apologies to the authors but it does mean I liked it. :) My favorites are "Holy Crap", "Holy Shit", "Holy Hell", and an occasional "Holy Fuck" or "Holy Mother of God."

    My favorite fic "Holy" is the Hydraullic Level 5 one -- Holy Cliff-Hucker never gets old! :)

    – CherBella

  5. Sweet Fancy Moses, I feel like a celebrity! Thank you so much for mentioning Caged Bird (and my very favorite scene from it). I <3 you guys.

  6. Update!!

    I just got a PM from eagle-eyed reader Yeezu who says, in chapter 19 of Oxymoronic8's story, "Innocent, Vigilant, Ordinary" Bella Swan says, and I quote, "Jacob Black! Holy crow, go to the hospital!"

    So...I was wrong. There is at least one fanfic author out there that used Stephenie's bizarre interjection.

    Thanks Yeezu for setting me straight!
    Hoosier Mama

  7. I got most of the ones that I've read right and like the fanfic hoor I am added the stories I haven't to my list:) FWIW, I thought it was maybe a typo in the book as well- never heard anyone use "crow" that way before. Pretty sure I've seen it another fanfic but can't remember which one- the result of reading way too many I guess. ~larac

  8. Um, I got the one for my own story wrong. Do I have to leave the fandom now?

    I don't think I've actually had Isa say "Holy Mary, Mother of God", but maybe I'll put it in the next chapter just for giggles. She does exclaim several times "Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" which I've picked up from my own relatives.

    I'd also like to add "Holy MolE". That's right, the blessed sauce.


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